Tea Time in Scotland

2010-03-12T21:59:00.001-05:00

ever been at that place where you just feel like there isn't anything left to live for? yeah I'm there.

wow twice in one week

2008-08-31T22:57:00.002-05:00

I may be on a roll folks!!!

It is Labor day weekend and I have been working on a ton of stuff. I spent all day Saturday chillin around the house and watching a Katherine Hepburn marathon on TV. Sunday I spent the day cleaning the kitchen, doing my laundry and cleaning and rearranging my bedroom. I also worked a couple of hours at Ebz. My room looks more open and clean now that I have moved some stuff into the spare bedroom. I was able to move my desk over next to the window that gets the most sunlight and the bed now has my fall/winter bedspread on it. Tomorrow I will probably spend the day working on some jewelry, shopping at Target and dinner with friends.

I really do love these long weekends. I get so much done and it is much more relaxing than a two day weekend. I wrote three letters and finished one of two lanyards for a friend at work. I picked my crocheting back up and am working on making some cool notecards. I finally downloaded all my pictures and am working on uploading all the pictures of the jewelry I made to my jewelry blog and the etsy site to attempt to sell some. I spent all day today listening to music instead of watching tv and I must say I LOVE MUSIC.

whoa

2008-08-27T20:05:00.002-05:00

So it's OBVIOUSLY been quite a long time since I last posted.

Lets see... I've done a lot of traveling this summer. Some beautiful weddings and some first time visits to places. Watched Dark Knight four times, watched Michael Phelps become the worlds #1 athlete, and the US dominate the Medal Count in Beijing. Finished grad school in May, increased production in my jewelry line and kept extremely busy at work. Really really busy.

Let's see, with traveling I've added San Jose, San Francisco, and Monterey, California to my map of places visited, Key West, Florida and Connecticut. I've been to Iowa, Missouri, Ohio, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, California and Florida. I am pretty exhausted and looking forward to a weekend or two of relaxing at some point in time.

Favorite weekends had to be going to California, visiting Beth in Iowa (cutest pregnant woman I have ever seen!), and the Highland games coming up next weekend with dad.

Now for real I will try to keep this updated more often.

Full MOON?!?!?!?!?!?!

2008-03-03T12:15:00.000-05:00

Okay so last week felt like it was nothing but a full moon and nothing could go right.

Things were ridiculous at work with me still learning things and also trying to get things done correctly, which I couldn’t seem to do. We finally got her taken care of by 1700 on Friday the 29th but it was very very last minute and I don’t like things being that last minute. The whole week was draining as I was at work between 0730 and 0800 every morning and not getting out of work before 1800 each night. By the time I would get home around 1845 and 1930 all I wanted to do was eat and go to bed. Now don’t get me wrong, I STILL LOVE MY JOB!!!! I love being busy as opposed to my old job. I just need to figure out how to balance the stress so that I don’t continually break out the way I did this week and get myself into a rhythm for sleeping.

Then came the weekend……

Friday night was the church Volunteer Appreciation Dinner. I attended but didn’t stay too long as I was utterly exhausted. I was almost asleep later that night when I got a call from my “little bro” Dan. His Mum and my friend had almost passed out while driving them home from the dinner. She was taken to the hospital and sent home later that night. It was all really crazy though because I couldn’t get down there to help and I felt so bad that Dan was all by himself until his aunt and uncle could arrive. Then Saturday morning on my way up to visit a friend in Bel Air, MD I got a message from my father saying that MY MUM was in the hospital. She had fallen at work and been knocked out. They had taken her to the local community hospital and done a CAT scan. They weren’t satisfied with the results and because they didn’t have a neurologist on call for the weekend then sent her to Danville. At Danville they found slight hemorrhaging on the brain and decided to keep her overnight for review. They finally released her Sunday afternoon and sent her home with instructions to not drive or work for a week.

I am utterly drained physically, emotionally and spiritually right now and can’t think about anything. ARRRRGGGGHHHHH Prayers are much appreciated by any and all who read this.

It's been awhile

2008-02-20T20:59:00.002-05:00

Wow, I obviously am not staying on top of this very well. Lets see what have I been up to since New Year's?

Well I have been at my job for almost three months and I still love it!! I am getting some really great experience and opportunities. I don't know if I can express just how much I really love my job.

Let's see, what else? I have been keeping busy with school and recently I went through an abcessed tooth and root canal. NOT FUN!!! Discovered I really don't like the company that I am employed through, though I love my job. I pampered myself at a spa with a massage, pedicure and really expensive hair cut that didn't turn out the way I wanted. Been up to see my little nephews twice. Started to set life goals and am working on a piece of jewelry for a friends wedding this summer. Found out another good friend is making me an Aunt, which I can't wait for!!! I am taking swing dancing lessons, finishing up my last two classes for my MBA and cooking a lot more.

Otherwise can't think of much else to write here, but I just wanted to update what has been happening.

Out with the Old and in with the NEW

2008-01-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

Well it is officially the start of a new year and I have yet to finish recapping the old year.

The rest of November...was basically boring with a great trip to NC thrown in to visit my sis for Thanksgiving. My Mum flew down Monday before Thanksgiving and I surprised my sister and drove in late Tuesday night and stayed until Sunday. We went all out and cooked a turkey and all the fixin's. We had a couple of guests over and chilled. Janis and then went to the beach for a couple of hours. It was a good time but then it was back to the grind in DC.

Once back in DC it was time to break out the Christmas decorations. It was pretty nice this year, we had painted, added our copper accents, and rearranged the furinture.

Then I got the wonderful opportunity to attend the National Christmas Tree lighting. It was okay but kinda cheesy. However the friends I went to see it with was time well spent. We froze our butts off and then hit up the local Capital City Brewery for dinner. It was wonderful!!! (I'll even post a pic of how close I got to the Pres. I didn't say it was actually close though :-/)

Then we closed the semester from small group with a small Christmas party. Good times with Good Friends.

Then it was Christmas time with both my immediate family and my best friend family.

Okay New Year's later plus new goals for the new year!

Wow!!!

2007-11-12T09:23:00.000-05:00

Yeah so I had an amazing rest of the week last week and a fabulous weekend.

First of all on Friday I got a call from one of the women I have been interviewing with for this new position. She wanted to know if i could stop by really quick and meet with the other person I would be supporting. I had no other plans but to leave early that day because it was so slow and boring at work so of course I went. It was amazing! Both women are impressed and love me and basically without actually having been offered the position in so many words, I know I have the position based on their comments and the next steps they have me taking. I AM SOOOO PUMPED!!! The position is amazing and will be sooo fulfilling. Instead of going home tired out of my mind from boredom I will be going home tired from actually having worked hard. I look forward to it more than some people can even fathom. :-)

Now Saturday was every bit as good. I had rented a car for the weekend to be able to get out of the city and enjoy the last of the fall foliage along Skyline Drive in Virginia. My friend Courtney and I grabbed breakfast at a little french cafe in the city, had the best french toast ever and then hit the road. We went south before going north because as I have discovered on past occasions going west on 66 and heading south will tack on an extra hour or two to your trip. Plus the traffic would have given me a massive headache.

So by 11:30 AM we were on our way. It was sooooo beautiful and the day was perfect. For those of you who know the quirkiness of me, you know that even though I suffer from sun deprevation depression my favorite days are cloudy gray days with bright autumnal leaves offering a magnificent contrast. That is exactly what we got to start the day. We had intermitten shots of sunshine as well but few and far between. So back to the trip itself, we stopped at a Wawa on our way out of the suburbs and grabbed lunch. Then we continued on and slowly but surely all signs of the city and suburbs fell away to mountains, forests, intermitten houses and numerus apple stands. At one such stand we decided to stop and grab some apples, cider and honey. The farmer had some cups at the stand so we grabbed them to go with our cider and the honey, man it had actual honeycomb in the jar. Then we continued on. The leaves and the scenery continued to get more and more beautiful the farther we went.

You know I seriously wonder sometimes how human beings could possibly explain all the wonder and beauty that can be seen around us as a result of evolution or a big bang. It is soooo obvious to me that it's only description for being can be a magnificent and wonderful Creator who wants to show us just how wonderful and beautiful He is. I mean to see all the different colors and so much of it, its well its indescribable. (thanks to Chris Tomlin for putting it to words)

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and

You know them by name.

You are amazing God

All powerful, untamable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and
You know them by name

You are amazing God

All powerful, untamable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Alright back to the trip, we both got many beautiful pictures.

And when we reached the top of Skyline Drive we got a wonderful surprise!!!

SNOW!!! Courtney loved it as she is from Texas and I was okay with it cause I knew I would be leaving it behind. But I did throw my first snowball for the season! It was a good time.

Then it was back to the city, take a nap and then Courtney came over for pizza and we watched Miss Congeniality. Then to bed.

Sunday was a great day too. First of all Pats had a bye so I didn't have to stress about a football game. Though I was rather shocked that the COLTS LOST TO THE CHARGERS?!?!?!? Pastor Joel covered the next movie in the God at the Box Office series. His was The Pursuit of Happyness. I haven't seen the movie but what I did see of it this weekend I need to go rent it. It was an excellent message. The rest of the day was full of other such fun events as well. I took JennO to Tunnicliff's for lunch and then we ran to Target for some quick pick ups. The best part of the whole day was when I met up with my friends Michelle and Amy and we headed up to the 930 club to see the David Crowder Band.

Talk about the most amazing time of my life!!!! A group called the Myriad started the concert and they were phenomenal. Then Phil Wickham played and I have found two new artists that I really love. Then by the time DCB got up there I was ready to sing some praise and worship myself instead of just listen to it. AND PRAISE GOD DCB invited everyone to sing along with them. It was amazing. I believe I experienced the Holy Spirit for the very first time. I have never felt so free to worship ever before and in such a public place. I almost literally felt the Holy Spirit come in and lift me up. IT was all I could do to not try and crawl up into Heaven with Him. It was amazing!!!

Okay this is taking awhile to type up so I'll post more later. God Bless. Oh yeah enjoy Veteran's day fr all you who get the day off.

Update

2007-11-05T19:13:00.000-05:00

Well to start Cayd Elijah was born November 2nd, 2007 at 9:35 PM. He is 9 pounds 8 oz, 22 inches long. He is the spitting image of his big brother when he was an infant. Red hair and all. I can't wait to say hello to the little guy.

As for me, I had both interviews and they both went well. The one I actually withdrew my application later because I realized that I wanted the other one more than I did that one. Now I am basically just interviewing all over the place looking for a new job.

I am really excited because I met Sunday with the group of folks who have all expressed an interest in going to India in the Spring with NCC. There was about 12 of us and all had different backgrounds. Some of the folks had been on prior trips with NCC and know what to expect. Then there are others who are more like me, never been on a trip outside the US and freaked beyond reason to go. It is going to be an expensive trip and a trip that requires complete faith in God. I will have to take a week and a half off work, it costs approximately $3000, I have to have a bunch of shots (and for those of you who know me well, know that I am a 27 year old baby when it comes to needles), and it will be a huge step outside of my comfort zone.

I was encouraged however during this meeting by those who said that if you are fighting with whether or not your supposed to go then you are definitely supposed to go. That is most definitely satan fighting hard to make you stay when he knows if you go he will lose more. That is both encouraging and discouraging. I get tired of constantly fighting to do the right thing. Sometimes I feel that no matter how hard I fight I just keep getting beat down and I just don't want to do it anymore. I feel like throwing in the towel and going up into the hills and becoming a hermit. Never having to deal with people again and thus never really having to fight. All I would do is read my Bible and pray. There would be nothing there to make it hard.

Now I know this is foolish and extremely selfish because this world and my life is not about me and my creature/spirit comforts but rather about God. I know that I made the decision to be used by Him which means that my life will never be easy. I have made the choice that I will honor and glorify Him in everything that I do. Thus, I will keep fighting, I will keep reading and studying and learning more about Him. I will keep allowing Him to put me in situations that require complete faith in Him. I know by just saying that I have opened myself up to more hardship than I personally can probably handle but I know that if I continue in His word and in daily prayer with Him I will be able to make it through and come out the other side more refined than before.

well that's all for today. Thanks to all who read this and pray, especially Beth. I covet everyone's prayers.

My fabulous weekend and "star" experience

2007-10-23T15:28:00.000-05:00

This last weekend was a ton of fun! Sarah was stilll prego, the little one just wants to hang out inside mummy, so I ended up staying in DC for the first weekend in a very long time. I still went a head and rented the car for the weekend though because I had a lot to do. So Friday was nice, I got off work, picked up the car and went shopping. I got all my grocery and necessity shopping done and made it home in time to watch Numb3rs.

Saturday was gorgeous! A large group of us met up near-by and headed out to Virginia to go apple picking. we stopped at this little restaruant called the Apple House for lunch and then it was on to Stribling's Orchard. It was beautifully cool and still sunny and the picking was good. I had so much fun and now I am planning to make a couple of apple pies with my pickings. That night I hung out with a couple of other friends from church and we ate chili and cornbread and carved our pumpkins. Overall it was a great day.

Sunday was one of the best days ever!! Pastor Mark's message was amazing and very convicting. He finished off his series on the Elephant in the Church by confronting the Apocolytic Elephant. To hear his sermons check it out on itunes Podcast National Community Church.

But the best part of Sunday morning was actually getting to meet Dave and Kate Schmidgall. They are the missionaries that I have mentioned a couple of times previously, who are working with a church in Edinburgh, Scotland called Eikon. I didn't get the chance to meet them last year when they were at NCC's Mission conference but my friends knowing my passion for Scotland told me about them and I was able to find them online through their website. I have been following their work there in Edinburgh since shortly before they left, via their blog. Let me just say that what the team at Eikon is doing in Edinburgh is AMAZING!!! You should see the way that God is working there. All that to say that it was so wonderful to finally meet them in person. I felt like I was getting to meet my version of movie stars. I am really hoping that God will allow me the awesome opportunity to go to Edinburgh in the Spring and help with my church's Buzz Conference!!

In other news...pray!!! I have an interview tomorrow for a job that I would really like. It would be a cut in pay but the job would be amazing! I would get to work in a great environment, with great people, and actually be busy doing great work. I will tell more after the interview!!!! Please pray though!!!

On a more serious note...please be praying for my co-worker John. This past Friday night two of his daughter's were in a terrible accident. The youngest at 16 Sarah was killed and the oldest at 21 Melissa is in critical condition, in an induced coma with brain damage. Please please pray for him and his family. He has three other children as well. It could be months before he comes back to work due to the extent of Melissa's injuries. Please please pray God's will in his life and for the recovery of Melissa. Please also pray for peace, comfort and strength for the rest of the family to make it through this extremely difficult time.

The best and the worst of it.

2007-10-10T22:06:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was both good and bad. Let's start with the good.

I finally made it to the West Coast for the first time in my life. I went to Oregon to attend the wedding of a friend. It was absolutely lovely there. It reminded me so much of Scotland that I just wanted to stay. I got to go with a friend and have a lovely time driving the scenic highway to Multnomah falls and then on to Mt. Hood. It was lovely and quite enjoyable. I also got to see the Pacific Ocean for the first time in my life. I was like a child running at the waves coming in and running away when they got too close. It was amazing!! We were there at night for a bonfire and just to see two of God's greatest pieces of work in the same place was breathtaking. The sky was blanketed in stars that ran down to meet the wide expanse of the mighty Pacific. How can anyone say that a big bang did all that? Really?!

I got to see and spend time with old friends and make new. It was great! The wedding itself was beautiful. The bride was out of this world gorgeous and the groom was handsome in his tux. Everyone looked dapper and beautiful. The reception was an elegant affair in a renovated old JC Penney building. I'm talking the good ole building with wood floors and ornate decorations. I spent more time at the reception reacquainting with old friends and making more new ones. I met the Reber's a wonderful family. Carissa and I share a passion for cars that I have never found in any other girls I have ever met. It's nice to know that I am not the only girl who enjoys "boy" things. :-)

Then came the after-party. All the folks from DC and all the groomsmen trotted round the corner to a local bar. The reception ended before 9 PM and none of us were ready to hit the sack quite yet. Spent time shootin the breeze and then shootin some pool.

The worst part of the weekend then hit like a gale force off the bow. My friend that came out with me decided to do something that I and a lot of other people really didn't think was wise. We all loved them and didn't want them to get hurt or make a fool out of themself. Well let's just say, I confronted them and it did not go well. I and another friend spent the rest of the night worrying about them, where they was, how they were and if we would actually see them again the next morning. It was awful. We also worried about the person on the receiving end of their decision. They were drunk and had no clue what was going on. They didn't even no the other had decided to stay until they walked back in and we didn't.

That was the worst part of this whole trip. Two people that I care about deeply and neither one coherent to make a good decision. I hate fighting with people, I really do. I love my friends and would do anything to ensure that they never had to deal with pain in their lives. However I can't back down from what I said to the one. I still believe that what I told them was true and I stand by it 100% but that doesn't make it any easier that they still won't talk to me and that they hate me. I hope that someday they will realize this and see that I only cared about them. Until then I want them to know that I still love them and am here for them if they need me.

How depressing :-)

2007-09-17T20:12:00.000-05:00

I think I have finally figured out my "purpose" for men in life. For some I am their ego booster, meaning when it is good for them they'll not discourage my liking them but when it isn't they'll be rude and cold shoulder me. jabg For others I am the carrot to be dangled in front of the woman they really wants nose. dnfc The last group are the ones that see me as the permanent "gal pal". The Gal they can hang with, who likes cars, football, soccer and more. apjggtss

Maybe my Dad was right, I do act too masculine. However ,though I may like lots of "guy" things I wear a ton of pink. I wear skirts all the time in the summer. I have an unmistakeably unavoidably prominent chest. I wear make-up, like to cook, love my kitty, love bright colors and find Tom Brady, Matt Damon and George Clooney highly attractive!!! YUM!!! Maybe I just have really bad luck. If that's the case, 27 years of bad luck does not bode well for the future. :-/ :-)

Soo....maybe it's the guys who are the problem not me. Maybe they are the ones who can't handle the idea that a girl can be a girl and still love "guy" things. Maybe they are the ones that can't see a good thing when it is staring them in the face. Oh well, what to do. I won't change me (to a point, I do know that everyone has things they need to work on) to make a guy happy.

oh well not going to dwell on it too much but just needed to put it down on "paper".

10 years ago today

2007-08-31T08:48:00.001-05:00

The People's Princess, Princess Diana

10 years ago today we lost one of the most amazing women in the world. There are many others out there but Princess Diana will always stand out as one of the most remembered.

I can still remember how I felt when my Mum informed me that Diana had been in an accident. I remember thinking, there's still hope because she isn't dead yet, they think she's alive. Then that awful moment when they finally announced her death to the world. It was devestating! She was one of the most influential women in the world and was 100% worthy of the title "The People's Princess". I mean she was one of the few people that was on my list of folks I wanted to meet. She showed the world that not everyone in the royal family was immune to the world around them and the difference they could make if they chose to. She showed the world that Aids patients deserve the same amount of dignity and respect as the next. She showed the world that all it takes to bring everyone together is a little bit of love and caring.

To this day I still get teary-eyed when I think about her and about her sons. She did a good job instilling in them the reality of life and responsibility to the people. They have grown up to be wonderful young men who reflect her love and character on those around them.

2007-08-30T19:54:00.000-05:00

Well I will be done with Grad school in April of 2008 and I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! It has been a long three years in coming. I didn't realize just how hard it would be to go to school full-time and work full-time. I mean, I knew it would require work but I figured being able to go online would balance out the time that I would have been sitting in a classrom. Yeah doesn't work that way. It actually takes a lot of self control and self discipline. I have had to really crack down on how I spend my time so that I am not up into all hours of the morning. Now that isn't to say that I've done a good job. I have slipped a lot and because of that have really pushed myself to the limit. But in the end it will all be worth it. I will have my MBA, be eligible for a raise, have the option to look for "better" jobs and much more.

On another note, I may have found a way to spend next summer working in Scotland. I have to do a bit more research but who knows. I really hope it works out because it could open doors for me to be able to move there in the future.

I DID IT and here are my results.

2007-08-20T13:15:00.001-05:00

Next year these numbers will be much better, but for my first time, I am proud of myself.

The first number is my place finish (oy!) then obviously my name age and where I am from. Then the first time is the overall amount of time it took me to complete(3:45:38.05, we had a total of 4:20:00 available to us to finish it in) then the next number is my place finish in the swim (1659) and how long it took me (54:32, we had an hour to complete). Then my place for the first transition from swim to bike and the amount of time it took (1421, 5:49). Next is my place finish in the bike portion (1652) with 2:10:00 available to me I finished it in 1:52:03. Next is my place overall for the swim/bike combined (1658) with a time of 2:52:22. Then my place and time for the second transition from bike to run (192, 1:25). Finally is my place in the run (1632) and it took me 51:52 which is worse than my previous 3.3 mil run but I also did have to swim and bike before my last run. So that in a "nutshell" is my results for the RYKA IronGirl Triathlon.

1656 JOYANNA NEINER 27 WASHINGTON DC 3:45:38.05 1659 54:32 1421 5:49 1652 1:52:03 1658 2:52:22 192 1:25 1632 51:52

I acutally can't wait to train for next year, but I think I'll give myself a week first to stop being sore :-).

J's Jewelry Designs

2007-07-30T08:55:00.000-05:00

So I have finally begun to create pieces of jewelry that I am actually putting out there for the world to see. I have been making jewelry for friends and family for years as gifts but now I have been encouraged by a good friend to set-up shop and offer my pieces to the "world". I create made-to-order jewelry, you tell me a little about yourself (the colors you like, your personality) and a little of what you are looking for. I draw up a design and create a unique piece of jewelry to fit you and your personality. I also make copies of certain pieces I have made in desired colors. I love doing this. I would love if someday this became my full-time job. (One can only dream right)

Here are a couple of my most recent pieces.

Cherry Pop Bracelets (set of three)

Cool Breeze

Lime Lolly Necklace

(there is a set of earrings as well just no photo at the moment)

Orange Sherbert

Orange Sherbert2

Linkin Gems

Peridot Heaven

Red Rhapsody

Red Rhapsody2

Red Rhapsody3

Silver Lining

Silver Lining2

ZigZag

Transformers and Harry Potter

2007-07-20T22:21:00.000-05:00

I LOVED TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!!!!!! I have seen numerous movies where you know there is going to be CGI and unfortunately you can see it but not with Transformers! I grew up with these guys as toys as a child but never watched the cartoon. So the movie was great on two levels for me. First it was like seeing something for the very first time that didn't have a book or previous show to it (at least that I actually saw) and the CGI was AMAZING. It was so well done that you could almost believe that the Autobots really changed from cars to robots and back. The interaction with humans was quite real as well. I have to say this is the first movie since I was a youngster that I would pay to go see it in the theatre again.

Now as for HP and the O of the P, well that's another story. I didn't go into the movie with any pre-thoughts though some friends said it was great and others said it was disappointing. I sat and I watched and I generally enjoyed but over all I was disappointed. About the only thing I definitely enjoyed where the action scenes. I don't really know what else to say. I thought they could have done a much better job.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out RIGHT NOW. As I am staring at my computer it changes from 2359 to 0000!! MIDNIGHT!!! HP is officially on sale and my copy will be in my hands at some point in time tomorrow when UPS delivers it!! I CAN'T WAIT!!! I am so excited and kinda worried at the same time. I know someone has to die and that this is the end but I am worried about who it will be. I'll let you know what I thought of the book in about a month when everyone has had a chance to read it. I don't want to be held responsible for someone googling it and getting my site and having the book spoiled for them.

My new life verse!

2007-07-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

With everything that God has been teaching me lately and impressing upon my heart I discovered a new life verse. As many of you know I have finally decided to let go and obey God and stop making excuses. I am headed to Scotland next year to start my new life. I discovered this verse the other night while reading through 1 Thessalonians and it really struck deep.

1 Thessalonians 5:24

FAITHFUL is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to PASS.

What a strong reminder to me that no matter how hard I fight it, His will will be done and He will see it through till the end. It is a constant encouragement to me that I am not in this alone and that I will do this this time.

In another note, I found verses in 1 Thess. that will hopefully help me with my no complaining restart.

1 Thess. 5 16 - 22

REJOICE ALWAYS;
Pray WITHOUT CEASING;
In EVERYTHING give THANKS; for this is GOD'S will for you in Christ Jesus.
Do not QUENCH the Spirit;
Do not despise PROPHETIC utterances.
But examine everything CAREFULLY; HOLD FAST to that which is GOOD;
ABSTAIN from EVERY form of EVIL.

OY!

2007-07-08T18:53:00.000-05:00

This whole not complaining thing is harder than I thought. I haven't gone one day without complaining at least once. I have cut back but it still slips out. I blame it entirely on the job right now :-).

On another note, I both like and dislike change! You know in some ways change is great because it increases the spontaneity in life but on the other hand it comes with much "growing" pain.

Relationships~all kinds not just that annoying boyfriend/girlfriend one but the friends one. I realized recently that I am very selfish. When it comes to relationships I have a hard time maintaining them if I can't physically see the person. For example, my best friend Beth lives in Iowa and I rarely see or talk to her.

Now some of this I attribute to the fact that she is now married and has someone else that she has to consider in life. Not that I hold that against her. I am happy for her. But I was thinking the other day that it sucks that our friendship seems harder to maintain now and that is when I realized that it is solely because I am selfish. I expect her to call me or contact me all the time instead of me MAKING the time to maintain a friendship that I hold dear. I never thought I wasn't selfish but I guess I just didn't see myself as that selfish.

The other thing that I realize is that when I do talk to my Best friends I usually am also working on something else at the same time and not giving them my undivided attention. What A JERK!!! If they have taken the time to call me and check up on me then I should give them the same consideration and pay attention. I realized this when I was talking to my best friend Shrig a couple of weeks ago. She is always so good about it and I always promise to call back when I have time, but do I? No! I am a selfish jerk.

Then there is my best friend Sarah who I probably dedicate more time to than all the three put together and that is so unfair of me. I don't know why, it's not that she is any better than the other two. I don't know, maybe its because she challenges me on a level the other two don't. NOt that they don't challenge me in their own ways but somehow it's different. I don't know how to explain it.

Each of them has had a direct and infinite impact in my life. Shrig has been the one person I could count on to treat me as an equal since that wretched time of life called highschool. She has taught me to laugh at myself when I do something stupid and to be strong in what I believe. She has been a part of my life for years and without her I sometimes think I would have forever remained living with my head stuck in a hole in the ground. (you know what I mean Shrig :-))

Beth I met in college when she was dating a guy I was interested in. (It's always best to be friends with your "friends" girlfriend) We built an amazing friendship out of it and have been there for each other through the ups and downs. She has taught me to find the beauty inside myself, to persevere and to trust that God is in contrl.

Sarah I also met in college and have known for years now. Sarah is the one who showed me the grace of God through her life, she showed me that there is always hope and opportunities for second chances. She has shown me that it is possible to live solely on faith alone when there really isn't much else to live on.

Then there's a friend that I met online who I have had the HARDEST time maintaining any kind of a relationship with. We seem to miss each other somehow. Course that might be because he lives in Portugal :-). But you know... He's fun to talk to when we get the chance and it takes me outside of my small world of DC and the USA. Who knows moving to Scotland next year may even give me the opportunity to actually get to meet him in person. That might make the friendship work :-) seeing as I do better with "physical" friendships.

I have numerous friends here in DC and am afraid of leaving next year purely for the reason that I know I struggle with maintaining long-distance relationships. I don't want to lose my friends. They mean a lot to me and each one has made an imprint on my life. What will I do without them?

Tryin something out and Scotland

2007-07-02T21:34:00.000-05:00

So our Pastor mentioned this challenge that another Pastor presented to his church. I have decided to give it a try. Basically the challenge is to not complain for 21 days. Supposedly the result is no more complaining because you have created a new habit of finding only the good. This is something I definitely need to work on so here goes...

Have you ever finally let go and let God take the wheel only to realize that DUH if I had just done it sooner maybe I would already be where I should be? Boy I really do feel like an idiot when I look back at just how clear God has been for as long as I can remember about going to Scotland. I mean I am talking all the way back to the age of five!!!!

I have always dreamed of this country and had an intense passion for her that I couldn't quite explain and still in fact have a hard time putting into words. When I tell people that I love Scotland and that i can't wait to get there and they ask why all I can say is I know that's where God wants me. I really have no other way to explain why the passion is so strong and so intense.

Before last September '06 Scotland was a mere dream and not even a "possibility" in my mind. Then I actually got to go and visit with my Grandmum and God just made it 100% clear that I was home and I should have already been there. I have a passion for the country who's land flows through my blood. I have a passion to reclaim the youth and college age of Scotland for GOD.

It's funny to think that Scotland is the home to John Knox and had such a strong Christian past yet 67% of all Scots no longer claim any religious affiliation. Some say this is due to the fact that the church has remained in the past while the rest of the world contiunes to change and move forward.

A very belated Father's Day post

2007-06-27T19:37:00.000-05:00

I LOVE MY DAD! I truly believe that I have one of the best Dad's out there. Without him in my life, I would have never become who I am today. (I wonder how he sleeps at night? :-D) He took care to raise us with an instilled fear of the Lord that helped me to grow into a faith and love of God that I can call my "own." He taught me by experience to work hard to pay off debt. He taught me to respect my elder's. He created in me my passion for camping, history, designing my own home, the smell of fresh earth and timber (he built homes and we would visit him on the job site), football and my Scottish heritage.

Though I am told I look exactly like my Mum, I believe I act a lot like my Dad. I have a strange and inane hatred for the telephone (which I am pretty sure he gave me), but it's a good thing. It allows me to be able to break free like other people can't. I tend to both think things through and do things on the spur of the moment which he definitely does. I am a complete introvert at heart, which I definitely got from him, but I work hard to combat it and step out of my comfort zone to be part of an "extrovert" life. I most definitely have his nose!!! (it's big :-D) I generally tend to hold my frustration and annoyance in until I reach a point where I can no longer do so, but I don't have a tendency to yell at all. I don't like to be told that I am wrong unless you can show me how I am wrong. Definitely qualities I get from him. To think of it, I don't know if I have ever even heard my Dad yell in anger or frustration. I have heard him yell to be heard above the work site and to get people's attention from a distance but HHHMMMM, yeah can't think of a time.

My biggest frustration with my Dad is that he refuses to see how great he is!!!! I fight every day to not feel like a failure because HE believes he has failed in raising his children which in turn conveys to me that no matter what I am doing it isn't enough and I am a failure. That is rather frustrating to deal with every single day. I mean none of us still live at home or rely on him to care for us. My brother is an amazing Marine and wonderful man, my sister is growing into her own person and learning how to do life, and I am living in my dream American city and soon to realize a whole nother dream. I mean SERIOUSLY!, I call that a man who has definitely succeeded.

Now that is not to say that at times things haven't happened that make life look bad but there comes a time when a parent has GOT TO REALIZE that they have taught their children to the best of their ability and that no matter what that child is still a human being with their own free will to make right and wrong choices. I mean seriously. It would be pretty sad if at the ages of 24, 25, and 27 my Dad was still teaching us right from wrong and disciplining us. NOW THAT would be utter failure.

At the same time, his utter refusal to accept success makes me fight even harder to do something that will make him realize what an awesome job he did and to say he is proud of me and what I have become. I hope that some day he will view me and his family as a success and in turn I will finally feel as if I have accomplished something in my life.

Things I remember doing with my Dad that I love:

Camping at Gettysburg
Camping in general
Highland Games
Snipe hunting
Job site visits
Pink things (Canada mints)
Spearmint leaves
Campfires
Family devotions at the table
Sunday nights playing boardgames and eating popcorn
Cookouts (master griller)
Long drives to Virginia
Vermont
Dirt Roads (he has a thing for finding at least one on any give trip we take)

"milestones"

2007-06-15T08:01:00.000-05:00

I chopped off my hair on Wednesday night and I absolutely LOVE the result! It is so short, easy to care for and refreshing.

Today I finally paid off enough on my school loans to break under 12,000. I am so excited. While I was paying on them between school, it felt like all I was doing was paying interest and I wasn't seeing a reduction in the overall at all. Since being in school and getting my new job I have decided to continue paying on the loans though they are in forebearance. Because of this I am paying on the principal and not the interest and actually starting to see a reduction in how much I owe! I LOVE IT!! It makes me feel like there is hope and someday it WILL all be paid off. Yippee!!!!!!!!!!

verrry interesting thoughtful skeptisism

2007-06-12T21:19:00.000-05:00

I am not sure if I 100% agree with this, but then I am not sure where I stand on theology anymore. Being from a Baptist upbringing and attending a Baptist College where theology has been shoved down my throat, I have found that theology is the grounds for a lot of division in the church.

I do know that I firmly believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I believe that we are here on this earth to bring Glory to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe that without Them I am nothing. I believe that as a believer it is my duty and privilege to tell others about Them. I believe that the Church is a global body of believers and not a building where believers meet. I believe that God has granted us all gifts and we are to use them to glorify Him. I believe the Bible is 100% right and true.

As for the other things I choose at this point in my life to not deal with them. I don't believe that what you believe about the rapture and the millenium will make a difference to whether or not you will get into heaven. I also do not believe that being a Calvinist or Arminian makes a difference. The Bible specifically remains unclear about many things. Also it seems everyone who has a differing belief or opinion can each back it with Scripture.

Seems to me that this means we should spend less time fighting and arguing about who's right about what and more focusing on telling others about the awesome and amazing Grace of God.

You scored as Reformed Evangelical, You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die.

Reformed Evangelical

61%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

57%

Fundamentalist

57%

Emergent/Postmodern

50%

Neo orthodox

43%

Classical Liberal

43%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

Roman Catholic

21%

Modern Liberal

11%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

My Bug-a-boo

2007-06-05T19:09:00.000-05:00

My precious little Bug-a-boo
Happy Birthday you're TWO!!

I pray you'll grow in knowledge and grace,
And always learn to seek His face.

When push comes to shove
May you always show/know love.

How exciting that soon you'll be a big brother
And you'll get to be Mommy's extra special helper.

As you enjoy your toys, especially Thomas,
Know that this I solemnly promise....

Your Aunt Jo will always love YOU!!

Things to do today

2007-06-04T23:06:00.000-05:00

___ Talk to a friend about getting a ride to the airport early Friday morn.
___ Write Aunt Karen in PA
___ Write Andee in Virginia
___ Write Kate in Iraq (I've been very bad about this) SORRY!!!!
___ Write Aunt Karen in Scotland
___ Finish writing discussion paragraph for the first part of this weeks assignment
___ Clean kitchen
___ Fold and put away clothes
___ Call Virginia State Police :-/
___ Read chapters 2 and 3 and take quizzes
___ Call Beth and Sarah

My Brother the Marine

2007-06-02T21:48:00.000-05:00

I think that way too often I have taken for granted the fact that I have the best brother in the world and he came back to me and my family from Iraq not once but TWICE. I love him so very much and wish there was some way to express how much I love him and am so proud of him. He is an amazing man who overcame, what he was told were insurmountable obstacles, to become an extremely competent and respected United States Marine.

I also had the awesome opportunity to see my Grandfather honored on Memorial day this year. It was amazing and had me crying. My PopPop is WWII veteran who served his country with honor. He was honored by a local TV station in Southeast PA.

I also had the chance to be able to stop at Ft. Indiantown Gap National Cemetary and pay my respects to my Grandpop. He served in the Navy during WWII. Unfortunately he died before I ever discovered my passion for understanding the war and hearing my grandparents stories. I miss him and wish that I could have just one more day with him.

I know it's a little late but a great big THANK YOU to all our men and women who have served and are serving our Great Nation!

How big is your God?

2007-05-17T21:56:00.000-05:00

We finally finished the last night of our small group going through the book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You have to get out of the Boat. The last chapter discussed how big is our God. It talks about worship and how our lives are to be worship, that what we do on Sunday at church is only a small part of what worship is. I really appreciated this excerpt from the book.

"We are to worship God, not because His ego needs it, but because without worship, our experience and enjoyment of God are not complete. We worship God not so much because He needs it, but because we do.

I need to worship. I need to worship because without it I can forget that I have a Big God beside me and live in fear. I need to worship because without it I can forget his calling and begin to live in a spirit of self-preoccupation. I need to worship because without it I lose a sense of wonder and gratitude and plod through life with blinders on. I need to worship because my natural tendency is toward self-reliance and stubborn independence."

I need to worship because without it I have forgotten Who takes care of me and gives me the will to live each day.

And on the subject of getting out of the boat...I now have a one year plan to get to Scotland by June 1st, 2008. Here is the plan..

DESTINATION SCOTLAND!!! (5/17/2007)

One year plan -- June 1st 2008

Concerns
Books
Degree
$750 for plane ticket
Sarah's baby 10/2007
Janis' Wedding 4/5/08
Getting Fia to Scotland
Storage for all other items
Finding a church
Obtain Ancestry visa
Finding job to pay bills
Save $5,000 for vital living expenses

Solutions
Box and Ship
Start back 6/2007
By August 30th 2007
Enjoy the experience
Enjoy the experience
Purchase cat carrier, and get tranq from vet, research rules and comply
Rent space near folks in PA May 2008
Pray, check out Eikon and other churches in the area
Begin push on May 22nd, and get Grandmum's birth certificate
start search Feb/Mar 08, talk to Walden and the possibility of an internship
Save $500 a month beginning June 07

2007-05-13T17:38:00.000-05:00

So I have definitely not been keeping up my end of the cleaning deal in the apartment. Sooo while my roommate was away on vacation this past week I CLEANED the apartment. I cleaned the living room top to bottom, i mean dust and all. Then it was on to the kitchen, where I cleaned out the fridge and mopped the floor. Then swept and wiped down the bathroom. I must say I probably didn't do as thorough a job there because I HATE CLEANING BATHROOMS. However I did clean it a bit.

Last night we had our first good thunderstorm. It made me VERY happy! On the downside though it downpoured and I didn't catch my bedroom window in time and my comforter got soaked. Darn it! But oh well, finally having a thunderstorm was well worth it.

This week will be nuts at work, leading up to a crazy weekend! OY! I am ready for a vacation!!!!!!!!!! Gotta go!

I did it!!

2007-05-05T22:51:00.000-05:00

Well I actually got up at 7:30 AM on Saturday morning stretched and ran 2.5 miles all on my own. Then I came back stretched out again and laid down for a nap. Then I met up with my brothers girlfriend and my friend Amber and we headed to the Jeremy M. Herbstritt Memorial 5K. Where we met up with some of their friends. We registered got our t-shirts, stretched and prepared to walk. Lucky for me Michelle one of the other girls was interested in running the 5K as well so we paired off and took off. We ran most all of the race. I would say we ran a good 2.75 miles out of the total 3.2 miles. We stopped and sped walked up the hills, though there weren't many, because neither of us could do it. I finished the race in 38.?? minutes. I was really excited because that is about how long of a run I do at home as well for about the same length of time.

What did I get out of this you ask? Well, I got a chance to pay my respects to his family and come to grips with reality a little bit. I got to help out the family as all proceeds from the race went to Jeremy's family to help with all the finances. I also got the chance to start off my racing/running life in a perfect tribute to a friend. Oh yeah I also got some terrible sunburn on the shoulders and a headache because I didn't drink enough water.

Tomorrow my Mum and I are headed to the graveyard to visit Jeremy and say my goodbyes. My heart is aching right now in ways i can't begin to describe for Mike, Peggy, Jenn, Joe, Steph and Lex. I wish that I could take there pain away and make life all better for them. I wish that I could give them Jeremy back and that I could take his place. Honestly death doesn't scare me. I am ready to go home and be with my Father.

Well until later...

and I'm back.

2007-05-01T20:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry its been such a long time. A lot of things have been happening and changing in my life. So where to start...

Lets start with Godspell. We officially closed on Easter Sunday and then celebrated our cast party a week later. We had a ton of fun playing Dance Dance Revolution, eating a lot of food and then Kacey our director passed out fun awards. I received Rookie of the Year! Whoo hoo for me! :-)

With Godspell out of the picture, I had already decided that I would not be going back to work at Ebenezers. I found that I was literally killing myself and no longer finding joy working there. So I now had a lot of time on my hands, so to speak.

Then came Virginia Tech. The world was stunned and the small town of Bellefonte, PA was left in utter shock. This was the 2nd time that an incident effected the small town. The last was when the Pentagon was hit and a young man from Zion, PA was killed. This time not only Bellefonte was effected but myself and others that I knew personally. A young man was murdered in that mess who we had gone to school with. What a mess.

That was a Monday, that Friday I spent the day in Philadelphia with two very good friends, sporting my Virginia Tech Maroon and Orange. We had fun wandering the city, doing some shopping and just having some good girl-time together. Then it was back to DC and work.

I think for the most part that gets me all caught up. Oh yeah I am training for a mini-triathalon in August and the Army Ten-miler in October. Also this weekend I am going home to run in a memorial 5K for Jeremy Herbstritt and to say my good-byes.

this should not have happened!!!!

2007-04-17T20:26:00.000-05:00

I am 26 years old and I shouldn't have known anyone there. In fact as far as I knew today at 3:30 PM, I didn't. Then they released the names of the murdered at VT. Among them was the name Jeremy Herbstritt. At first I thought it was just a coincidence that he would be from PA (they had the wrong town listed) and have gone to Penn State. I called my mum and best friend from high school Shrig to have them check on this. Then I got on facebook and checked him out. Just before my friend called I found him and realized that it was indeed the guy that I had gone to high school with. Shrig confirmed it and then my mom confirmed it shortly after.

This is ridiculous, I shouldn't have known anyone there. I should be looking on this and praying for all the families of the victims, not crying my eyes out over the memories of a funny and quirky young man that I had known personally. Jeremy's family shouldn't have to be writing an obituary, they shouldn't be buying a casket, they shouldn't be mourning a young man, who had so much to live more, so much to offer the world. He was smart, he was funny, he was quirky, he was a runner. He was a young man who loved his family and his friends. He cared about people and wanted to make a difference in the world and he would have.

Jeremy Herbstritt and the many other victims, their families and the injured will be in my thoughts and prayers alway. God bless!

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2007-03-28T10:11:00.000-05:00

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2007-03-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT..........

GODSPELL OPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One week from tonight all the hard work that the whole entire group of us have been doing will finally reach its climax. All the pure talent and desire that God has given us will be given its chance to share His story, His love, His joy and His sacrifice for the Greater DC area to view and behold.

Please pray:

For our health
For our safety
For our sanity as this last week will affectionately be known as "hell" week.
For our Director
For our Producer
For our Band
For our Tech folks

The cast by name:

Nathan Spiwak-Jesus
Dan Cummins-John the Baptist/Judas
Chris Girardi
Ryan Zemple
Robin Landauer
Lisa Overman
Jessica Johson
Jen Watts
Bekah Kitterman
JoyAnna Neiner

Director: Kacey McGowan
Producer: Heather Zemple
Band:
Keyboard: Sarah Chilcolte
Guitar: John Purcell
Drums: I am so sorry, I can't remember his name

Please be in prayer that God's will will be done throughout the run of this performance and that His name will be Glorified!!

realizations

2007-03-19T11:59:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those weekends where something goes dreadfully wrong and it makes you rethink your life and choices you've made?

I did! I realized I made a dreadful mistake about someone and am hoping and praying that they'll give me a second chance. I also realized that someone that I had hoped to reconcile with, well it just won't ever happen. I also realized that as hard as I try and as much as I want to be the perfect person who is trying to do the right thing for God, it just won't happen. All I can do is admit it and try harder.

It's a couple of frustrating realizations because as you can see by a human perspective there is no hope to be found in a single one of these situations. But from a God perspective there is always hope to be found. For the mistake there is the possibily of a second chance, for the no reconciliation, its for the best and as for trying to be the best I can be for God, well that's good news to His ears when I say I'll just try harder to be what He wants me to be. It means to Him that I am truly His and He can work His glory through me. WOW

Okay not that I would wish another weekend like this on anyone but I don't know maybe we all need one of these realization weekends every once in a while. At least I know I do.

Thank you Father for reminding me how worthless I am when I try to do things without You. Thanks for letting me see my mistakes and please give me a second chance. Please take control of my life and make it more than just a useless lump of clay.

Bio for the program of Godspell and pic.

2007-03-13T12:40:00.000-05:00

When not being dramatic JoyAnna can be found trying to maintain sanity in the craziness that is Gov't and DoD in the Pentagon. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my FATHER for His unending love, faith and use of a lump of clay. Thank you also to Kacey and Heather for the awesome opportunity to be a part of Godspell. Thank you to the rest of the Gang for the "good times and great memories", they'll be cherished forever. Thanks to my Family who have never doubted I could act and for supporting me in this journey. Thanks to my best friends Sarah, Beth and Shrig for their patience and support. Thanks to my roomie Hyla, for her patience with my long hours and mess during the past few months. I love you guys!!

National Community Church Production of Godspell

2007-03-08T09:12:00.000-05:00

Tickets are $10 each and they will go on sale to NCCers this weekend before and after services. If your not from NCC and I know you and your planning to come, let me know by tonight if possible but at the latest this weekend. I will pick up the tickets in advance for the performance of your choice. Be sure to let me know! I would love to see you all there!!

Performance Dates are as follows:

Friday, March 30 at 8:00 pm
Sunday, April 1 at 2:00 pm
Sunday, April 1 at 6:00 pm
Thursday, April 5 at 8:00 pm
Friday, April 6 at 8:00 pm
Saturday, April 7 at 10:00pm **Special Easter Vigil Performance
Sunday, April 8 at 2:00 pm
Sunday, April 8 at 6:00 pm

Godspell, a musical based on the Gospel of Matthew, tells the story of Jesus and his disciples and the history-changing community they formed. All performances will occur at Ebenezers Coffeehouse. We have set our version of Godspell in modern times against the backdrop of the DC metro. To enhance your experience, take metrobus or metrorail to Union Station and walk one block to Ebenezers Coffeehouse.

Metro-operated lots are free on weekends and most federal holidays. At times when fees are charged, SmarTrip® cards with full parking fees are the only accepted form of payment for parking (except metered parking). Visit the Trip Planner at MetroOpensDoors.com or call 202-637-7000 (TTY 202-638-3780).”

(taken from the Zonegathering.com excpet for a little embellishment.)

I am officially registered

2007-02-28T16:16:00.000-05:00

One of my goals for this years was to run a marathon or some kind of run.

I have just officially registered for the Iron Girl. It is mini triathlon, we swim for 1K/.62 mi, bike for 30K/17 mi, and run for 5K/3.3 mi. I am really excited and somewhat nervous. I have plenty of time to train and build the endurance for it but I am still nervous about the fact that I officially have to do it. I mean I paid money to enter this thing so there is no backing out. The countdown to August 19th, 2007 is set at 172 days.

In April I will be registering to run the Army Ten-Miler in October as well. Again excited and nervous.

It has begun...

2007-02-21T15:18:00.000-05:00

Today I started my 40 days of fasting coffee and chocolate for Lent. I am a little worried as those who know me must realize I am both a chocoholic and coffeeholic. I started weening myself off over the long weekend but am still slightly worried as to whether I will be able to make through 40 days! We'll see, lets just say that this should hopefully make my prayer life much stronger. (I hope)

Psalm 95 and 96

2007-02-16T12:31:00.000-05:00

Psalm 95
1. O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD, Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
2. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
3. For the LORD is a great God and a great King above all gods,
4. In whose hand are the depths of the earth, The peaks of the mountains are His also.
5. The sea is His, for it was He who made it, And His hands formed the dry land.
6. Come, let us worship and bow down, Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.
7. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand Today, if you would hear His voice,
8. Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, As in the day of Massah in the wilderness,
9. "When your fathers tested Me, They tried Me, though they had seen My work.
10. "For forty years I loathed that generation, And said they are a people who err in their heart, And they do not know My ways.
11"Therefore I swore in My anger, Truly they shall not enter into My rest."

Psalm 96
1. Sing to the LORD a new song; Sing to the LORD, all the earth.
2. Sing to the LORD, bless His name; Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.
3. Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples.
4. For great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods.
5. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, But the LORD made the heavens.
6. Splendor and majesty are before Him, Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.
7. Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples, Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
8. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name; Bring an offering and come into His courts.
9. Worship the LORD in holy attire; Tremble before Him, all the earth.
10. Say among the nations, " The LORD reigns; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity."
11. Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; Let the sea roar, and all it contains;
12. Let the field exult, and all that is in it then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy
13. Before the LORD, for He is coming, For He is coming to judge the earth He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness.

Hope, Be Undismayed: Conversations in bed

2007-02-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Sara, who may or may not know me from BBC. What she posted here was a much needed slap in the face. As well as the comment from Elizabeth. It doesn't mean that things will be any easier and that I still won't struggle with being depressed and bitter but at least I have a strong reminder of the ONE who cares enough to always be a way out of that depression and an antidote for the bitterness. Hope, Be Undismayed: Conversations in bed

My heart is clinging tightly...

2007-02-13T12:22:00.000-05:00

Psalm 77

1 I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.

2-6 I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord; my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal. When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right," I didn't/don't believe a word they said/say. I remember God—and shake my head. I bow my head—then wring my hands. I'm awake all night—not a wink of sleep; I can't even say what's bothering me. I go over the days one by one, I ponder the years gone by. I strum my lute all through the night, wondering how to get my life together.

7-10 Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good? Will he never smile again? Is his love worn threadbare? Has his salvation promise burned out? Has God forgotten his manners? Has he angrily stalked off and left us? "Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business just the moment I need him."

11-12 Once again I'll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished, and give a long, loving look at your acts.

13-15 O God! Your way is holy! No god is great like God! You're the God who makes things happen; you showed everyone what you can do—You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble, rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.

16-19 Ocean saw you in action, God, saw you and trembled with fear; Deep Ocean was scared to death. Clouds belched buckets of rain, Sky exploded with thunder, your arrows flashing this way and that. From Whirlwind came your thundering voice, Lightning exposed the world, Earth reeled and rocked. You strode right through Ocean, walked straight through roaring Ocean, but nobody saw you come or go.

20 Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron, You led your people like a flock of sheep.

I LOVE BIBLEGATEWAY.COM

2007-02-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

All I have to say is whoever thought of Biblegateway.com was a lifesaver.

I needed this passage today to remind me that living for "fame" on earth and a name for "legend" is pointless. I don't want to be known on earth by everyone as someone who did something or made money. I want to be known as having loved God and served Him and done whatever He asked of me. I want to leave this earth with my name being synonymous with being a servant. I don't mean in a prideful way, I want people to recoginze that I wasn't doing anything for my own Glory, I want all I do and did to be known as for His glory.

Psalm 49
10For he sees that even wise men die; The stupid and the senseless alike perish and leave their wealth to others.

11Their inner thought is that their houses are forever and their dwelling places to all generations; They have called their lands after their own names.

12But man in his pomp will not endure; He is like the beasts that perish.

13This is the way of those who are foolish, and of those after them who approve their words. Selah.

The Sermon on the Mount

2007-02-08T11:19:00.000-05:00

I love how The Message translates this passage of scripture. It finally makes sense when it is written in layman's terms.

1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

when will it be MY turn?!

2007-02-06T16:12:00.000-05:00

I don't want to wait anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

State of my attempt to follow God

2007-02-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

You know for as much as I struggle in my relationship with God it is always encouraging for me to read about how others are battling forward as well. I love how my Pastor puts it "let's storm the gates of Hell! We aren't commanded to sit on the sidelines but to get up and play the offense." Okay so its a little more loosely taken from what he said but that is the gist of it.

I am encouraged everyday by my Pastor and his openness with not only his church but with any and all who come upon his blog. It is such an encouragement to me when he relates his struggles and frustrations. It helps remind me that he needs prayer just as much as the next person and that just because he's a Pastor doesn't mean he won't face the same temptations as you or me.

This past weekend Pastor Mark's message was "The State of the Church." Basically an NCC version of the "State of the Union" address. Only better cause it's about NCC. :-) Although Pastor Mark talked about all the good that has been happening this past year at NCC, what with the opening of Ebenezers (which was by the way voted the #2 Coffeehouse in DC on the AOL city guide), and the starting of two more services at the Ebs location, he ended the service on this note after showing our Baptism video (go to Baptism by the Bay). And I again quote loosely because I am not sure exactly how he said it. This video is what its all about, its about the lives that are changed and the people who come to Christ as their own.

FRIGID Temps

2007-02-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

Okay so it is the coldest it has been in a decade in DC right now. The temp. this morning when I left for work...20 but felt like -1. Now its 20 but feels like 2. I thought I had it bad until I checked the temp. in Iowa, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Respectively they were 7 in IA, 17 but felt like 0 in NJ and in Pennsylvania it was 12 but felt like -5. OY!!! Our only hope lies in the fact that Punxsatawny Phil said Spring will be here soon!! I sure hope so because I don't like this cold.

Oh yeah now this fits~

2007-02-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

now this template fits me and my blog title :-) Beth what do you think!?

Psalm 8

2007-02-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

1. O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
2. From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength Because of Your adversaries, To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.
3. When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
4. What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him?
5. Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty!
6. You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet,
7. All sheep and oxen, And also the beasts of the field,
8. The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea, Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.
9. O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth!

2007-02-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

You Know My Name - Detour 180

Help me remember the reason I’m alive
And that I was on your mind the day you died
Help me imagine, this is not my home
And some day I’ll be resting by your side

Help me remember the day you won my heart
And you paid my way to freedom with your love
Help me imagine the beauty of this gift
A grace that I am so unworthy of

But you’ll never let me fall away from you

You know my name
You know my story
Still you’ve taken on the world
Just for me

I am amazed that you hear me speaking
You listen close to every word I say
Who am I to be loved this way?

You know my name
If I rise, if I fall
My only hope is this
That you’d be with me everyday
Who am I to be loved this way?

We Beseech Thee (Godspell)

Father, hear thy children's call
Humbly at thy feet we fall
Prodigals confessing all
We beseech thee, hear us!

We thy call have disobeyed
Into paths of sin have strayed
And repentence have delayed
We beseech thee, hear us!

Come sing about Love!
That made us first to be
Come sing about Love!
That made the stone and tree
Come sing about Love!
That draws us lovingly
We beseech thee, hear us!

Sick! We come come to thee for cure
Guilty! We seek thy mercy sure
Evil! We long to be made pure
We beseech thee, hear us!

Blind! We pray that we may see
Bound! We pray to be made free
Stained! We pray for sanctity
We beseech thee, hear us!

By the gracious saving call
Spoken tenderly to all
Who have shared man's guilt and fall
We beseech thee, hear us!

By the love that longs to bless
Pitying our sore distress
Leading us to holiness
We beseech thee, hear us!

Grant us all from earth to rise
And to strain with eager eyes
Towards the promised Heavenly prize
We beseech thee, hear us!

Come sing about Love! Love!
That made us first to be
Come sing about Love! Love!
That made the stone and tree
Come sing about Love! Love! Love! Love! Love!
That draws us lovingly
We beseech thee, hear us!

Finally a real relaxing weekend

2007-01-29T13:35:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a long while I actually had a weekend that was meant to be relaxing turn out to be relaxing. After work on Friday I picked up a rental car at the airport and a friend at the café. I ran home packed a few small things and we headed back to the café to help set-up for and watch another friend’s performance in God on Broadway. First and foremost props to all who performed in this. Every single one of them had fabulous voices, but especially Dennis and Genevieve knocked my socks off. Talk about pipes, they both had a magnificent set of them.

After God on Broadway, Dennis, my friend Joe and I headed out to Western VA to meet up with the rest of the gang at a lodge we rented in Luray. It took us about two hours not counting a couple of stops. One getting my first every ticket/summons to court. OY! Slightly frustrated about that but am planning to write and see what kind of a deal we can work out as I was in a rental car, in a state I don’t live in with a PA driver’s license. Hopefully as it is my first offense they will be lenient with me.

Anyway we got there around 11ish and the rest of the gang was all there. We chilled for a bit chatting and listening to the guitar and singing along at times. Then we all gathered round the TV and watch “The Italian Job” (I was thinking of you BETH!). I hit the sack about halfway through because I was exhausted.

The next day I was up at 9:30 AM and ate and showered. Then a group of us decided to hike down the hill and find the river. It was great, the weather had gone from bitter cold the day before to warm with a slight chill the next day. When we got back from our hike we ate lunch and decided to hit the Luray Caverns (pics later). Not so sure that was a good idea as I am slightly claustrophobic. There was a garden maze there as well that we raced through. Out of the group of six of us that went in, I got out first. (I am way to competitive and not really sure how to change that)

After the maze, Adrienne, Bryan, Stacey and I headed for our “guided” tour of the caverns. It was pretty fascinating as well as scary, for me at least. All the different types of stalactites and stalagmites were amazing. I couldn’t help but look at them and stand in awe of Gods creativity and power. There was even this one portion of the cavern that had been turned into a natural organ. We were blessed with a live performance where “A Mighty Fortress is our God” was played. How utterly fitting!!!!

There was even a wishing well! Though I don’t believe in them I threw in a good dollars worth of change in high hopes ;-). Actually they dredge the pool at the end of each year and donate the money to a charity. It is pretty cool and if I’d had more change I would have thrown it all in. Towards the end of our tour the guide asked if everyone wanted to see how dark it was in the cave. Since I seemed to be the only person who didn’t, I grabbed a friends arm and held on so everyone else could “enjoy” the feeling of total and complete blackness. I felt like I was in hell, except there was no torture or heat.

When we were done here we headed back to the lodge and ate dinner. Celebrated Dani’s birthday with cake, ice cream and some salsa dancing. Well at least most of us did. Dani attempted to teach me but I just really am not that good. Then we all chilled and sang worship songs and talked. It was a really fabulous weekend and I would do it again any time. I really got a wonderful chance to get to know better some folks that I had met or known previously but had never hung out with. What a great group of friends. Thanks to Stacey, Rob, and Adrienne for pulling this together. Your hard work was much appreciated.

I was tagged

2007-01-16T14:21:00.000-05:00

Okay so I was actually tagged to do this days ago but just got around to it now. Here goes nothing.

5 Things you may not know about me

1. I really really hate needles. I am a 26 year old baby when it comes to getting a shot. I will first avoid it at all costs and then if I can’t avoid it will still cry or hold tightly to whoever’s hand is available and closest. I really really hate them.

2. I never sneeze only once. It is a family genetic thing that was passed on to me only I didn’t get one or the other but a combination of both sides. One side sneezes twice in a row and the other sneezes three times in a row. Me I sneeze a min. of 3 times if I’m lucky and have maxed out at 9 to 10 in a row. It hurts and I literally have to find some place to sit by the time I am done sneezing.

3. I love to read history books and biographies. REALLY!!!

4. I am obsessed with Neil Armstrong, Elvis Presley, Sean Connery, Scotland and the Moon.

5. I cry at the slightest thing, commercials, a full moon, a beautiful sunset, and way more stupid and weird things. I am extremely emotional.

I will now tag

Deeply Mingled, Kalamity Kate, and Lavender and Laughter

Worst Dream

2007-01-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamed that my Brother got called back up, but was so afraid to tell us. I figured it out because he buzzed his head to a military cut. I know that he hates that cut and since having got out of the military has let it grow long and curly. So I told my family that the only explanation was that he was called up to serve and didn't know how to tell us. Then I dreamed that I was so angry, frustrated and worried that I applied to the State Department to work as an Admin. in some offices over in Baghdad, just so that I could stay near him. I woke up filled with so much anxiety and just literally wanting to cry. I HATE THIS BLASTED WAR and if I felt right saying other words I would do so here as well! Why can't Bush listen to the smarter people in the government and the Nation that elected him. WE WANT OUT OF THIS GOSH DARNED BLASTED WAR!!!

BRING OUR MEN HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOOOOO PATS!!!!!!!!

2007-01-09T10:14:00.000-05:00

Playoffs have started and my beloved Patriots are right back in the thick of things. WE CREAMED the Jets on Sunday and this weekend we take on the San Diego Chargers.

waxing frustrated angry and political

2007-01-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

Okay I don't think I have ever really used this blog to voice my political convictions before but I am so angry and frustrated right now. I recently found out over Christmas that pres. bush authorized the recall of inactive duty Marines. This pertains to Marines who are in the 2 and 3 year period of their 4 years after discharge on call period. My Brother is in this period and I AM ANGY. These recalls are to begin this Spring of '07 and I DO NOT WANT MY BROTHER BACK THERE!!! He has already served in the s#@thole IRAQ twice and the military has "conveniently" forgetten to note that on his records. My brother is already having a heck of a time getting into the VFW because of this. THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A VETERAN!! I really hope the Democrats can make a difference and I hope that Bush will listen to their wisdom and GET US OUT OF THERE BEFORE WE LOSE TOO MANY MORE MEN TO ANOTHER COUNTRY'S CIVIL WAR!!!
here is an article regarding what I am talking about. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/22/marine.recall/index.html

It's that time of year...

2006-12-29T10:25:00.000-05:00

You know what I'm talking about! That time when everyone decides, with the best of intentions, to make New Year resolution's that will change their lives and better the world.

But why is that less than a month or two later, we have already forgotten what it was we wanted to do or in fact just given up. Don't people ever get tired of the thought of failing that they really do want to stick to it and finish something?

I for one am tired of making resolutions only to give up a couple of weeks later. So this year, I intend to do something about it. I am almost 27 years old and tired of the monotony of life. So my goals (not resolutions) are as follows:

1. Take risks and find fun in life.
2. Stick with the gym for real this time.
3. Lose the 20 lbs I gained after college.
4. Enter and complete one marathon. (whether it be a short or full-length one)
5. Let go of the past and move forward.
6. Proceed with getting my ancestry visa.
7. Graduate from being a contracted employee to the Gov't, to being a Gov't employee (better benefits)
8. Honestly make a concerted effort to read my Bible every day.
9. Write at least one letter to a friend or family member a month.
10. Travel to Arizona to visit with my Aunt and her husband.
...will finish this post later when I have more time to think.

Happy New Year's from our Nation's Capital.

*aside* how sad is it that I am glad I get Tuesday off. I mean I feel terrible for the Ford family but all it means for me is an extra day off. Oy I really need to rethink my thought proccess.

YIPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all of you who know me, know that I am a big theatre person. My major in college was communications focusing on the dramatic arts. Well since college the only "acting" I have done is making it through each day of life. Well this past Sunday I tried out, along with 20 other folks to get a role in Godspell.

I found out today that I was cast as one of the eight parts. I AM SO STINKIN EXCITED!!! It is a musical and I get to put my musical talents as well as my theatrical talents to use!!! I am so very very excited, as if you couldn't tell!

Taking back the Margins, regaining “Control”

2006-12-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

I have decided/realized that I need to regain “control” of my life. So with that in mind, I have taken a six month leave of absence from Grad School, dropped to one day a week at my part-time job and tried out for my church’s production of Godspell. I have also started going to the gym three to four times a week and put myself on a low-cal high protein diet. I am weighing myself once a month but not focusing to much on that as it is more about liking my body than being a light-weight.

It is time I start doing what I would like to do and focusing on me, to be selfish for a bit, and not everyone else. I found that the more I kept trying to make others lives easier the harder mine got and the sicker I became.

Let me tell you, the minute I turned in the leave of absence and verbalized to my boss that I needed to cut back, it was like this HUGE weight had lifted off my shoulder. Now what would be even nicer, is to have what my friend Elizabeth has. (*aside* J LOVE YOU GIRL and I am only jealous in a good way. I really think you needed this and am happy that God has given it to you. Its funny how we as humans won’t do what we know is good for us because we are so afraid of what others think.)

So anyway, my Mum has decided to give it one more go and I have promised to play mediator to their discussions. Please pray that my Mum will talk to my Dad in a way that shows that she does love him and that my Dad will listen, absorb and open up to her. I know they love each other but they are both going to have to give in order to get what they want. That’s what marriage is, isn’t it, a team effort, a relationship of compromises and sacrifices. We’ll see, I just know I can’t handle having to go through another separation threat. This one was so real it was scary and I had no idea what I was going to do.

I thank God for all my friends though, who surrounded me with love and prayers. There is no way I would have made it through the pit without them and God.

Oh and another new skill I learned I had…making bows. Since I discovered it, I have been making bows for people almost everyday. Christmas is like the one holiday that the whole Pentagon gets into. Everyone, and I mean everyone, decorates their doors.

God speaks through music that I so desperately needed to hear

2006-11-30T23:14:00.000-05:00

Okay I hit rock bottom the other day and realized the only thing I had left in life to live for was God. I had reached the point with all the crap going on in my life that the only thing left for me to do was to believe in God because if I didn't believe in Him then I would be utterly hopelessly and completely without any reason to live. The next day I started looking at things and life through the eyes of a person who realized that no matter how much they sucked and wanted to try so hard to make everything right they couldn't. The only person who could was the only thing I believed in at the moment. God brought a dear friend back into my life at a time when I was no longer praying for them, I had utterly given up any hope of being friends or ever finding this person again. He also gave me a new friend who is going through a very similar if not the same situation that I am. God and only God knew exactly what I needed without me having to say a word. He is the only explanation I can make from what has happened since Thanksgiving.

Then this evening while downloading music I was listening to my iPod and the first two songs to play were ones I so desperately needed to hear and be reminded of. Now I am not saying life is a bed of roses, it still sucks, I still wish that I could crawl into bed and never get out but there is some hope and I know that I am not on my own. He is there and when I am least able to hold myself up He is holding me.

Praise You in This Storm
By Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

WHO AM I? By Casting Crowns
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am. (I am)
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Bridge&Chorus 2x

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

I GIVE UP!

2006-11-28T16:35:00.000-05:00

In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day

2006-11-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

I started reading my Pastor’s book yesterday. I think I was avoiding it for awhile because I knew that when I read it I would have to face the lions in my life and start chasing them instead of running away. I think I was waiting and hoping that God would just fix me without me having to do anything. But it doesn’t work that way, I have to be first willing to be fixed and then willing to look at my life and realize what it is that needs fixed and then take before my Father and ask Him to help me fix as only He can. I don’t know why it takes me so long to figure things out like this. I mean maybe it helps to have that constant reminder of the wreck and pathetic mess of a human being I become when I try to do it myself. All I can say is, and I know I’ve said it before, but I AM SO GLAD THAT MY FATHER NEVER LETS ME OUT OF HIS HAND!!!!

Some good points that I came across while reading the first 3 chapters.
1. God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time. But the right place often seems like the wrong place, and the right time often seems like the wrong time.
2. Too often our prayers revolve around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives. We want everything in our favor. But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions. Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are. Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of God’s glory.
3. A.W. Tozer “A low vie of God…is the cause of a hundred lesser evils.” But a person with a high view of God “is relieved of ten thousand temporal problems.”
4. Maybe it’s time to stop placing four-dimensional limits on God.
Maybe it’s time to stop putting God in a box the size of your cerebral cortex. Maybe it’s time to stop creating God in your image and let Him create you in His.
5. The more we grow, the bigger God should get. And the bigger God gets, the smaller our lions will become.
6. How you think of God will determine who you become.
7. Half of spiritual grow is learning what we don’t know. The other half is unlearning what we do know.
8. It is the failure to unlearn irrational fears and misconceptions that keeps us from becoming who God wants us to be.
9. When we read Scripture, our brains are rewired in alignment with the Word, and we develop the mind of Christ.

So long, farewell, come back soon!!

2006-11-09T14:01:00.001-05:00

So recently a good friend finished his four year stint in the Marines. We were all excited for him but at the same time very saddened. Kurt is originally from Green Bay, Wisconsin which is over 900 miles from Washington, DC. He has garnered many close friends here and we are very sad to see him leave. He's probably one of the few people I know who had not one but multiple good-bye parties. We will miss him greatly here in DC and will pray for him to return home to us all soon.

Eijit

2006-11-09T14:01:00.000-05:00

Now about 5 or 6 years ago, I “invented” this word, thinking it was a great term for an idiot without calling someone it and them knowing what I meant. However while visiting in Scotland this past Sept. I discovered to my dismay and awe that I was not the original inventor. I was up in the Orkney Islands and had stopped to shop in a quaint little town. Well there were these cute little mugs with terms on them and their definitions, kind of like our mugs that make use of American slang. Well as I was reading over the terms I came upon one that I knew by heart. It was EIJIT!!! And the definition was……drum roll please……rat a tat a tat……a person who is considered to be an idiot!!

All I could think was how in the world, say what?!?! It was incredulous. A word that I thought I had invented was Scottish slang for the same word that I had created it to be for. (make sense?:-) or am I confusing everyone?) I was shocked and amazed because I had never been to Scotland before, I know that my Grandmum had never used the word and I know that the only Scottish brogue I had ever heard was Sean Connery’s and I hadn’t heard him use it. Nothing like vicariously living as a Scot without knowing it. WHOO HOO!!! I most definitely am Scottish!!

MY COMPUTER DIED!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-20T09:59:00.000-05:00

This could be the last of my entries for a short while, until I figure out the problem and get back online. PLEASE PRAY HARD THAT GOD will reinstate my computer.

MY COMPUTER DIED!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-20T09:49:00.001-05:00

This could be the last of my entries for a short while, until I figure out the problem and get back online. PLEASE PRAY HARD THAT GOD will reinstate my computer.

A few of my favorites

2006-10-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

These are a few of my favorite photos from Scotland

Daisies at Dunvegan Castle

Boat on Loch Lomond

Leaving Skara Brae

Butterfly, bumblebees and a flower

Loch Lomond

(this is the place where I go when I want to get away from the world and dream of "home")

Next year I can see this place whenever I want. It is only about an hour from Glasgow. I can't wait until the day when I am finally at "home."

New Developments

2006-10-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

So it seems as I age I garner allergies to me. Before I turned 21 years of age, I had never had an allergy in my life. The only thing “wrong” with me was that I was extremely accident prone. However when I turned 21, it’s like my body flipped a switch. I started having major problems with dairy to the point that I went from a size 10 to a size 4 in one month. Now for some folks they’re probably thinking, what’s wrong with that, I would love that to happen. Yeah well let me just say you would not want it to happen the way it happened to me. I was sick all the time and suffering from severe lactose intolerance until they figured that for the problem. So dairy was cut from my diet. I went out for a hike with some friends and discovered a weird allergy to some weird mushroom that grows off the side of trees in the woods. That was whack! I couldn’t breathe and my face and eyes swelled.

Now I have discovered I have a sensitivity to latex and adhesive. I keep discovering these things due to reactions and not getting tested. Well last night I had an allergic reaction to something I ate. It was awful! I was itching everywhere and anywhere it was possible to. I mean my eyes, my hair, my feet and well just EVERYWHERE. I have decided that it is time to take action and set up and appointment with an allergist. I want to know what all my allergies are before I accidentally discover one that may or may not be life threatening. Oh and Benadryl makes my very sleepy and the side effects last forever on me. YIKES!!!

On a good note though, my friend Pete from college is coming into town this Thursday and Friday. I am very excited as I haven’t seen him since he graduated from college back in, boy I think it was ’04. He is going to be attending a seminar my Pastor is giving on right-brained preaching and then meeting with him and a couple of other Pastor’s the next morning. I am looking forward to having a little bit of time to catch up with him.

And yet another thought/question…

Being right-brained means using the creative portion of your brain rather than the left-brain which is everything done from rote memory and habit. What do you think the Christian’s responsibility to being right-brained should be? Do we have a responsibility to be creative with the knowledge and abilities God has given us and if so why do most Christians instead choose to hide this portion of who they are? Has the “Christian” church taught the children of God that to be creative is to be a sinner? Why don’t more Christians take the unique and wonderful gifts, that God has created each of His images to have, and use them to further His Word and Will? Just some thoughts/questions from someone who grew up in and went to school in an environment where the staid and true was pushed rather than the creative and unique.

The Weekend Update :-)

2006-10-10T11:39:00.000-05:00

What a weekend! On Sat. I met up with two friends for breakfast and then we headed to Gettysburg, PA to do some “hiking”. I say that in quotes because we didn’t really end up hiking as much as just exploring Gettysburg again. I hadn’t been there since I was twelve and JennO had never been there. Kurt who had just been there about two weeks ago drove and gave us the shortened auto tour. We did get out and walk about for a bit, climbed Little Round Top and Big Round Top too. I will post some pictures when I can get them. It was a good time and when we got back we changed real quick and met up with one more friend to go to the Washington Capitals hockey match. I hadn’t been to a hockey match since I was in 9th grade. I actually really enjoyed it!

Sunday, I worked at the café until mid-afternoon. I met with my small group after work and then headed home. I hung out with my roomie and the down stairs roomie for a bit then we all headed downstairs to catch the Eagles/Cowboys game. Now I can’t stand either team but I really can’t stand T.O. more than I can’t stand the Eagles. So all that to say that I was eagerly cheering for the Eagles to cream the Cowboys and rub it in T.O.’s face for the way he screwed them over last year. And boy did they ever! It was a great game and a close game all the way to the final seconds. By then I was utterly exhausted and headed upstairs to nap before going to my other small group. Well I was so exhausted I didn’t wake up when my alarm went off. I ended up sleeping right through it. I got up around 9pm and chatted with my other downstairs roomie for a bit and then hit the sack again at 11pm.

Monday I had to open the café but I didn’t have to go to my full-time job!! That was great! So I got done at the café and went home and went back to bed until 11am. It felt so wonderful. I got up and went to the Portrait Gallery with my friend Kurt and then headed back home and chilled and cleaned until I headed back into the café for the small group that I help out with. Over all it was a great weekend and I finally caught up on all that sleep that remained so elusive upon returning to the States.

GIRLS

2006-10-06T11:09:00.000-05:00

Found this one someone's myspace and thought it was perfect and right. :-)

------------------------Girls------------------------
-------------------are like apples-------------------
---------------on trees. The best ones--------------
--------------are at the top of the tree.-------------
-----------The boys don’t want to reach------------
---------for the good ones because they’re----------
- --------afraid of falling and getting hurt.-----------
--------Instead, they get the rotten apples----------
----from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy.---
So the apples up top think something wrong w/ them
-----when in reality they're amazing. They just------
--------have to wait for the right boy to -------------
-----------come along, the one who's----------------
---------------brave enough to----------------------
------------------climb all---------------------------
------------------the way---------------------------
-----------------to the top--------------------------
----------------of the tree.--------------------------

The little hints!

2006-10-03T13:34:00.000-05:00

Its funny how when God decides He wants you to realize something or remember something, He just keeps impressing it upon you. Not only through reading His Word but through what your friends tell you and even when watching a random tape that you’ve seen before and kind of just sit through a second time.

JAMES 1:2-27
2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,

3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,

8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

9 But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position;

10 and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away.

11 For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.

12 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.

14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.

15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.

17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

18 In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

19 This you know, my beloved brethren But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

21 Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.

22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror;

24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.

25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.
27 Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep ones self unstained by the world.

IN A PIT WITH A LION ON A SNOWY DAY

2006-10-02T09:39:00.000-05:00

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is a great book for everyone to take a moment and read. Mark Batterson takes a portion of Scripture from 2 Samuel, that most people miss when reading, and shows the implications for our lives today. It is an enjoyable yet challenging read written by a man who does his best to chase his Lions in a way that others can watch and learn. Go forward, learn to face your Lion and then chase HIM!

Book Description

Your greatest regret at the end of your life will be the lions you didn't chase. You will regret the risks not taken, the opportunities not seized, and the dreams not pursued. Stopping running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path.

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is inspired by one of the most obscure yet courageous acts recorded in Scripture (II Samuel 23:20-21): Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it.

Unleash the lion chaser within!

Author Bio
Mark Batterson serves as lead pastor of National Community Church (www.theaterchurch.com) in Washington, DC, and is a daily blogger @ www.evotional.com. Mark lives on Capitol Hill with his wife Lora and their three children.

An excerpt from In a Pit,

"Is anybody else tired of reactive Christianity that is more known
for what it’s against than what it’s for? We’ve become far too defensive.
We’ve become far too passive. Lion chasers are proactive. They know
that playing it safe is risky. Lion chasers are always on the lookout for
God-ordained opportunities.

Maybe we’ve measured spiritual maturity the wrong way. Maybe
following Christ isn’t supposed to be as safe or as civilized as we’ve been
led to believe. Maybe Christ was more dangerous and uncivilized than our
Sunday-school flannelgraphs portrayed. Maybe God is raising up a
generation of lion chasers."

Editor, Producer, Director

2006-10-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

Lights
Camera
and...
ACTION

Cry of a newborn
New
Life
Infancy

Childhood
Scrapes
Bruises
Bumps

School
"First
Love"
Bible
Stories
Sunday School

New
Faith
New
Life
Second
Chance

Fall
Down
Get
Up
Again

Stop
Wait
Didn't
Mean
To do
That

I'm
Sorry
Cut
Splice
Edit...

ROLL
Tape!

Middle
School
Bullies
Basketball
Youth
Group

Take
His
Name in
Vain
Regret
Pain
I'm
Sorry

Cut
Edit
Splice

ROLL
Tape!

Junior
High
First
Date

Vandelize
Make
Mistakes
Stray
From the
One
Who
LOVES...

Graduation
Comes
Goes
Bible
College
still
not
right
great
act
noone
knows

Graduation
REAL
LIFE
HITS
HARD...

Why
Did I
Walk
Away?

Renewed
Faith
I'm
Sorry
Please
Forgive

Vut
Edit
Splice

ROLL
Tape!

Work
Serious
Relationship
further
education
slowly
forget
but not
leave

Slow
Steady
Returne
Help Keep
Me onh
Track

Please
Forgive
Cut
Edit
Splice

ROLL
Tape!

New
Marraige
Selflessness
A New
Way

Begin
To Understand
chirst's
Love

Seek to
Glorify
Honor
His Name!

ROLL
ROLL
ROLL
This is
Greast!
Exactly
What I
Want
From YOU!!!

Now You
Got IT
ROLL
ROLL
ROLL

Children
Godly
Discipline
Life
Rolls
Rapidly
By!

They all
Leave
Have
Families
of their
Own

Zoom in
For the
Final
Scene

FINAL
Breathe!
As you
View
Heaven's
Gates

And...
That's...
a
WRAP!!!

CUT
EDIT
SPLICE!!!!

COMPLETE

He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it.

2006-09-29T11:12:00.000-05:00

Forgiven?
Without a doubt

But how?
To get past the guilt of what I’ve done.
I asked
He gave
But my mind won’t let me move on
It’s fresh
It’s open
It’s new
How do I combat the mind?
What should I do?

Grasping
Pleading
Begging
Looking
Searching

For peace of mind.

Why is His forgiveness not enough?

Coffee and Cigarettes

2006-09-29T09:16:00.000-05:00

Sip
Swallow
Inhale
Exhale

Ragged
Breathe
Puff
Peace

Hack
Cough
Sip
Swallow

Calm
The burning
In my throat

Desperation
Inhale
Exhale
Sip
Swallow

Why can
I not
find
peace?

Anguish
Pain
Inhale
Exhale
Sip
Swallow

Another
Day
Another
Cigarette
Another
Cup

Maybe
Tomorrow
Will
Show the Way.

2006-09-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

I’m home…or am I?

2006-09-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

They say that home is where your heart is…well if that’s true then I am here in the States for an extended visit. I’ve always known that I belonged in Scotland. I’ve grown up dreaming of nothing but, I’ve written poems and anthems to that affect since I was old enough to write, the large portion of my library is Scottish history and info. Why did I have to come back here?

My heart aches every time I think about home. I want to cry all the time. I don’t want to be here in the States. I know this is not where God intended me to be. I want to go HOME!!!!!

sorry guys

2006-09-19T02:05:00.000-05:00

Okay guys I apologize that I haven't updated in quite some time. It is harder than I thought to get access in the highlands. In fact the connection I am on right now is so slow and it is dial up. I can't even download pictures for you guys to see. Hopefully we will have access at our next hotel and I will upload some pictures. Sarah I can't wait for you to see the little tams I got Garrett and BETH I can't believe you didn't come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll never guess where I went last night!!! You remember the picture you painted for me? Well I actually got to go to that castle. It is the Eilean Donnan castle and it is located near the Isle of Skye. I got some video for you and a couple of pictures of it for real and a pic or two of me in front of hte castle for you. The only funny thing is that there was a film crew there while we were visiting but it wasn't for an American movie or anything. It was for a Japanese music video, how ironic and funny is that. Well anyway to everyone else, thanks for your patience and I'll do my best to update tonight. JoyAnna

September 13, 2006 Day 5

2006-09-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

We headed out around 8:30 for our start up towards the Highlands. First stop St. Andrew’s, the city, the university and of course the golf course. I got a couple of good pictures of the course and a bunch of the ruined abbey and castle. Otherwise it was an uneventful stop. One good thing, I got to leave my Grandmum with another gentleman on the trip and I wandered off on my own. It was kind of nice.

Then it was back on the bus and we were headed off to the Glamis Palace, the childhood home of the Queen Mother. It was nice but the most interesting part was getting to see the Highland cattle. They are cute “little” things and very soft. Then it was back onto the bus and this time we headed to Aberdeen. Another couple, who are actually from Herdon near where I live, and I ended up going to a local Starbucks and chatting while having a cuppa. It was a good time. Then it was back onto the bus and we headed up the hill and slightly out of the city to our hotel.
Dinner was at seven and by then I was struggling so very badly. The gentleman that decided to sit with us loves to complain and when he complains I think everyone else figures they should to. So not only was he complaining but my Grandmum and the other woman sitting with us were as well. I was so frustrated and bored. Lucky for me the Celtic FC and Manchester United were playing right next door in the bar so I grabbed a beer and sat down with the Tour Guide to watch the game. It was great. It was kinda nice to have someone “closer” in age than 60 years difference to talk to. The game was good but Celtic lost by one which isn’t bad when you consider the score was 3-2. Manchester was expected to roll right over the top of Celtic. Then it was into the lobby for me and I have spent the last couple of hours online trying to find things to do and people to talk to.

And here are pictures from today…

again a problem downloading pics but there are a bunch on my xanga site. www.xanga.com/ChristsChild

September 11th, 2006 Day 3 and Remembrance

2006-09-13T16:16:00.000-05:00

On this day we headed out from Carlisle, England. We had stayed at a very quaint hotel that night. They had a couple of cats running around down on the main floor and while I was down there working on blogging and downloading one of them jumped up on my lap and snuggled down there while I typed. It made me miss my beautiful Fia immensely. Shout out to Hyla and JennO for taking care of her and giving her lovin while I am gone. So anyway, as I said we headed out from there and stopped at Hadrian’s Wall. This is a stone wall that is built on the fault line of where Scotland and England came together when the Panacea broke apart. It is amazing. They built it by hand and at some places it was more than six feet high and six feet wide. For the most part now the stones have been filched by local farms for use in their own fences. There are sheep and stone fences everywhere.

Oh a couple of things I have learned here. Any place name that starts with Kirk/Kil usually means that it has a church located in the town, so Kilmarnock is church of marnock. Dun/Dum means fortress, Dumbarton-Fortress of Barton and Pit comes from the Pictish decent of the people living there. If the place is known as a Hamlet it has no church if it is a village it does have a church.

The portion of Hadrian’s wall that we saw had a small milecastle located there. And that is exactly what it was, a castle located a mile from the last. There are two milecastles between the next fortress. Thus every fortress could supply the milecastles and the milecastles could supply the lines. A pretty ingenius plan if you ask me :-). The fortress here is known as Housesteads fortress and as you can see it is only a foundation of what it used to be.

After this we finally crossed back over into Scotland and being the quinticential tourist I got my picture taken at the rock that declared I was in Scotland. :-) What can I say!!! :-)

(okay here we go again the site is giving me problems with the picture downloading)

Then we made a short stopover and WC pause at a place called Jedburgh. Here is a picture of the beautiful but ruined Jedburgh Abbey. It was quite beautiful.

Then it was on to Abbotsford House, the home of Sir Walter Scott, author of Waverly, Rob Roy and many other wonderful novels and poems. I forgot to take pictures of the inside except for my favorite room the library. In his one library he had over a thousand books in the second one he had well over 7,000. I think I have found my new “idol” ;-).

While there, in the gift shop I found a scarf that I had really been wanting and it was on sale because it had a defect. However I can’t find the defect and I am the proud owner of a cashmere scarf in the tartan of Princess Diana of Wales, Memorial. I can’t wait to wear it. It is very beautiful and will go well with my navy peacoat. Here it is with some heather.

Back on the road again we, reached Edinburgh by 2:30pm. Grandmum and I napped all afternoon and then hit the local pub for dinner. Then it was back to the hotel and we passed out for quite some time. Well at least she did. I fell asleep and then, oh the frustration, my Grandmum snores quite loudly and consistently. I have not yet had a full nights sleep. If I beat her to sleep I usually get about three hours before she starts snoring. I mean her snoring is so loud that I can’t even get my iPod up loud enough to cover it. I try to turn it up loud enough that it is soothing to me and covers her as well as I cover my head with a pillow. It just doesn’t work. Any of you reading who care, please pray that I will get some sleep each night. I am starting to get exhausted. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with my Grandmum. Anyway…

As for it being September 11th, you don't notice it near as much here. I saw one brief thing on the bbc in the morning regarding the fact that Bush had visited all three sites of the attack but that was it. I know that I was thinking about it and how glad I was that I wasn't in the Pentagon that day. I still relive that horrific attack everytime a plane flies over where I work to land at Reagan. For those of you who don't know I work two corridors down from where the plane hit the Pentagon. When those planes fly over to land at Reagan I get chills up and down my spine and I can see the visual images as if they were happening all over again.

I know that I for one will forever remember September 11th, 2001 as a day that will live in Infamy much like December 7th, 1941. Many people lost their lives that day and many more since then. GOD bless America and the Men and Women who fight for her freedom daily.

XANGA

2006-09-10T16:11:00.000-05:00

okay so my photos posted no problem on xanga so if you want to see the photos that go with both posts, go to www.xanga.com/ChristsChild

September 10th, Day 2

2006-09-10T16:10:00.000-05:00

We were up at 6:00 am to pack, shower and get down to breakfast by 7:00 am. I find it funny that I am on holiday and getting up just as early as I do when I am home in the States. We were on the road by 8:15 am and headed off to our first stop, Alloway. Alloway is the birthplace of the National Poet of Scotland, Robert Burns. It was a quaint little thatched cottage. (photo at xanga) They have added much since its original production. Mostly the grounds though and not really the cottage. There are beautiful gardens and a quaint little museum. (photos at xanga)

Then it was back on the bus, well after a bit of a scare. One of the elderly ladies on our tour stumbled and fell on her face and started having a seizure. We ended up having to call the ambulance to come and check her out. It seems she was seizuring due to shock and everything was okay. One of the negatives to having all elderly folks on the tour. :-/ So then we were back on the road headed to Gretna Green. This place is famous for the blacksmith that used to marry couples on the run. It was mainly a tourist trap and not that fabulous. I didn’t get any pictures from there.

Oh yeah on our way to Gretna Green we actually stopped for a photo op in the highest town in Scotland which also happened to be the home of our tour guide. It was really neat, we got to meet his father and his dog and his father loved to share stories. I REALLY LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!! (photos at xanga)

On our way through this area I saw my first heather, though it is starting to go out of season so the hills were not purple with it but it was still a treat. I also got some fabulous pictures of the Scottish thistle. (photos at xanga)

After this we offically ended up in Gretna Green, from there we headed to Carlisle, England. We stopped and toured the castle. And of course no castle is complete unless it has a ghost. The story at this castle is based on this tower…(photo at xanga)

Supposedly in the little window near the top of the picture can be seen The Grey Lady. The story goes that this room was closed up at some point and when it was turned into a barracks in the 1800’s they opened up to make it into Sergents Quarters. When they broke down the wall they found the skeleton of a woman and small child. I saw nothing though, of course as you can see I was there in broad daylight. Oh well :-). More pictures of Carlise. (photos at xanga)

As Promised….

2006-09-10T15:41:00.000-05:00

Well we have completed our first day of the tour. It was a long exhausting but good day. I’ll start with yesterday and pictures from then as well and then tell you about today.

September 9th, 2006 will forever remain one of the greatest days of my life. I finally reached my dream destination…Scotland. We landed in Glasgow around 2:30 – 3:00 pm.

It was an amazing experience. I actually cried, which I knew I would do. Who wouldn’t when something they have dreamed about for years is actually happening. It was just wonderful. The tour guide was there to meet us at the airport and then take us to the hotel. We stayed right smack dab in the middle of Glasgow and actually we were 3 blocks from where my Grandmum grew up.

Grandmum and I were exhausted and it was all we could do, when we got the hotel, to not lay down and sleep forever. She looked better than I did that’s for sure.

(Okay, so I'll have to post more pics later, cause this is not working.) Though I must say when I am exhausted my eyes are the color of green I have always wanted ;-). Well anyway…

We all met for dinner and a drink at 6:00 pm. There are 41 people in our tour group and I am the baby, for real!!! I am twenty-six years old and the next youngest person is 67. Yowza! I have never felt so young, which is kinda nice considering lately I have been feeling soooo old. :-)

After dinner, Grandmum and I tried to get ahold of her sister and neices, only to find that they were already on their way into the city in the hopes that we were there. It was so wonderful to finally meet these people that Grandmum always talks about.

The one in brown is my Grandmum, khaki is her sister Jess, then the one in white is Bev and then Karen. I had previously talked with “Aunt Karen” through e-mail so it was such a pleasure for me to get the chance to meet her in person. We had a lovely time meeting and chatting and catching up. I think I could easily stay here and never come back.

We made it!!!!

2006-09-10T01:58:00.000-05:00

Okay so since I am getting requests...I can't quite post pictures yet but I do have stuff to report. We got to JFK on the 8th at 6:30 pm and flew out around 10:00pm. It was the longest hardest flight I have ever been on. I got stuck sitting in front of some pansy guy who would put his seat all the way back to rest and watch tv but if I put mine back he would tell me to put it back up because he couldn't see his tv. I think I actually started to cry, because at this point I had not slept since the 7th. I was utterly exhausted and all I wanted was a few hours sleep. We got to Amsterdam and our plane leaving from there to Glasgow was delayed. It wasn't bad though. It was great getting to hang around the airport and listen to the world. I mean you could hear every language possible. There were also some really cute young military men. :-) We finally got to Glasgow and through customs and everything else around 3pm their time. Now remember that we are 5 hours ahead of you all. I have some "fun" pictures of what I look like after not having any sleep for a couple of days.

The great thing was last night my Grandmum and I got to meet up with her sister and her neices or my Aunt Karen and Bev. It was wonderful and there are pictures to come. I have to go get on the bus. Love to all and thanks Mike for keeping me up to date about the Pats you have no idea how much I will definitely appreciate it!! God bless everyone.!!!!

Vacation

2006-09-06T18:21:00.000-05:00

How sweet that word sounds rolling off my tongue. Not just a weekend away but a real honest to goodness vacation where I can think of nothing else but myself and the utter joy I am experiencing. I mean I am talking no cell phone and only answering e-mail if I want to. I will be blogging about my trip everyday but I won’t really have any contact with the States, it will be kind of nice. Now I know that sounds so utterly selfish but in a way I feel I deserve it.

I worked my rear off at my old job in order to earn enough paid time off so that I would still get paid and get to go on this trip. The stinky thing is that they didn’t appreciate me and I had to leave for a better job with less PTO and the pay-out for that saved time from the old job helped cover the week that I took off between jobs.
My vacation between jobs, though it was a week long was not a vacation in the sense of relaxing, think only of me one. Not that it was bad, in no way was it a terrible week, in fact besides going to Scotland, it was one of the greatest weeks of my life. I got to spend an entire week doing what I love with one of my best friends. I got to serve her by helping with all her last minute wedding details. It was great, I loved it, though I do regret I have only one picture of the two of us and it isn’t even in our dresses. What a bummer!!
For the past couple of months since moving in our apartment has been affectionately known as Hostel 310. We have had people living with us since August. Now I am not complaining about this either, because God gave us the place and we have a duty to give as we are able and if someone needs a place to stay we’ll offer since it is God’s place not ours. However on the flip side, it is a little tiring to go home and have to “entertain” because you have guests and really shouldn’t go hide in your room.
So those are some of my reason that I feel that I “deserve” to be a little selfish about thinking nothing of anything else but how much I am going to enjoy this trip. I must note though that I do realize that I would not be getting this opportunity if it weren’t for the Grace of God and the many prayers of all my friends. I know that I will definitely enjoy my time in another country, marveling at God’s magnificent creation.

You know, I realized that sometimes I tend to think that the US is all there is because it is the only thing I know. I mean I have been to Canada, but that is attached to the US so I didn’t leave the continent. I have also been to Bermuda, which is like a little slice of Britain in the Atlantic Ocean off the US. Yet again though it is still too close and you don’t need a passport to go there, just a birth certificate. I mean I am actually leaving the United States of America and stepping foot in not one but two different countries. I will be landing in Amsterdam first for a short layover before heading on to Glasgow.

Kind of stinky things though:

missing almost the entire series of my Pastor’s Billboard series.
missing the first two games of my football teams season.
missing almost the entire first month of my small groups.
(Stage Left, Alpha, and a couple of other ones I want to do that I can’t think of off the top of my head.)
missing my friends immensely as I have finally begun to form close friendships.
missing a possible trip to Philly where I haven’t been since I was a child.

Now these are almost all such trivial matters when compared to the big picture of finally achieving a dream I have had since I was five years old. I can always go to Philly another time and as for the football games, I can check on them online. I think it is the spiritual and friendship aspect that I will actually miss the most. I didn’t realize how much I was getting fed by talking with my friends and through Pastor Mark’s messages and my small groups.

more later…

WE ARE GO FOR TAKEOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-01T18:09:00.000-05:00

I got the final call today at 5:30 pm today that everything is all good. They were able to correct the situation without incurring any fees. We are leaving from JFK airport next Friday the 8th at 10:05pm. I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!! Thank you so much for all your prayers! I know that it was because of you all and your prayers that God made everything work out. WOOOHOOO!!!!!

Random thoughts

2006-09-01T10:41:00.000-05:00

Let us live as though Christ were crucified yesterday, risen today, and coming tomorrow. Martin Luther

Did you know you can hit the snooze on your alarm clock so many times it doesn’t give you the option anymore? My cell is my alarm clock and I have a tendency to hit snooze in the morning so many times that after I think the 5th or 6th time it says “Alarm 5:30 am ok?” Basically my cell phone is being stubborn and refusing to be the excuse for my inability to get up in the mornings. :-)

I love when it rains because I feel like God is washing away the dirtiness of the world and all my cares and worries.

I like running in the rain because it makes me feel good.

I want a house someday where I can have a fire place with a big comfy couch in front of it to read a good book with a cup of hot tea on a rainy day.

I want a house with a big front porch with a porch swing where I can sit encompassed by the arms of the one I love, listening to the rain and talking about life.

Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Wait for the guy who calls you back when you hang up on him. Wait for the guy who will lie under the stars and listen to your heart beat. What for the guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Wait for the guy who wants to show you off to the world when your in sweats. Wait for the guy who prays with you. Wait for the guy who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the guy who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup. Wait for the guy who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the guy who turns to his friends and says "that's her."

Six Topics, Ten Questions

2006-08-31T11:06:00.000-05:00

TEN EMOTIONS.

1. are you missing someone right now? yes
2. are you happy? Waiting on a phone call and then maybe I will be happier
3. are you talking to anyone right now? nope
4. are you bored: a little
5. are you german: yes
6. are you irish: na Scottish
7. are you french: No.....
8. are you Italian: no
9. are your parents still married: 26 years and still goin
10. do you like someone right now : I plead the fifth

TEN FAVORITES.

1. store: H & M
2. flower: gerbera daisy, daisies
3. color: red, green or pink
4. sport: futball and FOOTBALL!!
5. mall: don’t go to them
6. music: anything but rap
7. food: steak, baked potato, asparagus, green beans, corn and mushrooms
8. season: FALL
9. animal: horses and dogs
10. state: the New England states

TEN FACTS.

1. hometown: Washington, DC
2. hair color: brown with natural red highlights
4. hair style: just short of shoulder length and curly
5. eye color: hazel, they change based on my mood and the color I am wearing
6. best friend: Shrig, Beth, Sarah and Pete
7. mood: slightly bored, slightly tired
8. skin color: WHITE as white can be
9. available: yeah
10. lefty/righty: right

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. have you ever been in love?: I thought so
2. do you believe in love: I guess
3. why did your last relationship fail: never been in one
4. have you ever been heartbroken: who hasn’t
5. have you ever broken someone's heart?: no
6. have you ever fallen for one of your best friends? Yes and will never do it again
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them that you do? Um again who hasn’t
8. are you afraid of commitment: no
9. has someone ever kissed your hand: no
10. have you ever had a secret admirer: not that I know of

TEN THINGS:

1. love or trust: both
2. hard liquor or beer: how bout neither
3. night or day: night
4. one night stands or relationships: relationships
5. television or internet: internet
6. pepsi or coke? um
7. wild night out or romantic night in: romantic night in
8. pink or blue? either
9. phone or in person: in person
10. msn or myspace: myspace

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER.

1. have you ever been caught sneaking out?: nope
2. have you ever skinny dipped: nope
3. have you ever done something you regret? Yet again who hasn’t
4. have you ever bungee jumped? nope
5. have you ever been on a house boat? nope
6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: yep
7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? Um if you mean relationally, yes but if you mean physically, no
9. have you ever danced in the rain? Nope
10. have you ever been skydiving? That is a resounding YES!!!!

“No news is good news” and a different perspective

2006-08-30T11:58:00.000-05:00

Whoever said this originally was just living in a dream world. Each day that I continue to go without news or information regarding my trip, I become more agitated and anxious. I have nine days til d-day and no confirmation on whether they have been able to book my Grandmum a new seat. This is not to say that I don’t try to get news. I think my agent will be very glad to get me on this trip and never hear from me again. I have called everyday to push them and try to find out if they know anything.

A different perspective

My good friend Pete reminded me last night, that as much as this sucks, others are still worse off. Consider, Pete just spent some time in Haiti for a mission trip. He had a great time and grew to know and love the people there. Well they just got lambasted by this tropical storm/hurricane Ernesto. Pete reminded me that they have lost their lives, livelihood and even homes and family. Me? All I may or may have lost is a trip to Scotland that I can attempt to take next year.

I need to stop being so selfish. I also started reading Job last night on the recommendation of a friend. Not that I am saying my life or situation is anything like Job’s but I can view his life as an example of how I should be reacting in these situations. So I will do my best to wake up each day until I LEAVE and remember that God is in control and no matter what happens He deserves all the honor and the praise. His will, will be done and I have to trust in the wisdom of His hand in my life.

Grad School and Scotland

2006-08-28T09:18:00.000-05:00

How frustrating is this? I had my final yesterday for my Corporate Finance class. It was 25 questions long, all multiple choice and open book. I spent three hours pouring over that book finding the correct answers and could have sworn I had all but maybe four or five correct. When I finally finished and submitted the exam I GOT A LOUSY STINKIN 56%. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The other frustrating thing that I am going to write the professor about, is the fact that the very first question had two possible correct answers but no option for those two. It basically gave me four different options and then an (e) none of the above, which I had to choose since I couldn’t say that only one of the answers was correct. If this was one of the answers I got wrong then I am going to fight it by turning in my answer for him to review and “correct” for me. IT IS SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!

The only good thing out of all this, I NOW HAVE A SEVEN WEEK BREAK BEFORE MY NEXT CLASS!!!! I am taking only one class next semester so that I don’t have to worry about school while I am in Scotland!! But once I finish this next class in October, I am planning to take an extended break from school. I am constantly exhausted, worn out and brain fried trying to work two jobs and go to school full-time. Plus a couple of other factors I have decided that in order to be a good steward of my time, money and body I need to take a break.

In other news MUCH PRAYER WOULD BE APPRECIATED regarding my Scotland trip. Basically three days ago I was informed that the mistake the Travel agent made with my Grandmum’s name means we now have to rebook and they are trying to charge me $400 dollars for their mistake. I am angry and frustrated since they only let us know two weeks before we leave and second because I can’t afford $400 more dollars on this trip. ARRRGGHHH! Please pray that God will work in miraculous ways so that the agency pays for their mistake and my Grandmum and I make it safely and THIS September.

Super long survey!

2006-08-27T15:36:00.000-05:00

High School: Bellefonte Area High School
Favorite pop: Mug Root Beer
Favorite band: Mercy Me, Casting Crowns
Favorite animal: Horses
Favorite weather: warm enough to go without a jacket but cool enough to wear a light sweater

Do You:
Like someone?: yeah of course, my friends
Want more piercings: Nope
Want a tattoo: No

Last:
Person you talked to in person?: my sister
Person you talked to on the phone: my mum
Person you hung out with?: my sister
Last movie watched: She’s the Man
Last movie Saw in theater: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest

Have you:
Ever cried over a girl or boy: yeah
Ever been arrested: nope
Ever had a friend die: yes
Ever finished a puzzle: yes
Ever got surgery: yes many
Ever hated someone: you mean like Osama or Saddam of course :-)

Blue or red? red
Spring or Fall?: FALL, FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!

Random stuff:
Criminal record?: nope
Do you have any pets?: one cat

Level 1
() Shoplifted
() Been fired
() Been in a fist fight

Level 2
()Snuck out of your own house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
() Gone on a blind date

Level 3
() Had a crush on a teacher
() Skipped school
() slept with a co-worker
()Saw someone die

Level 4
(X) Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane

Level 5
(X) Eaten Sushi
() Been surfing.

Level 6
(X) Taken painkillers
(X) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) Made a snow angel

Level 7
(X) Had a tea party
(X) Flown a kite
(X) Built a sand castle
(X) Gone puddle jumping

Level 8
(X) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) Gone sledding
() Cheated while playing a game
(X) Been lonely
() Fallen asleep at school

Level 9
() Used a fake ID
(X) Watched the sunset
(X) Felt an earthquake
(X) Touched a snake

Level 10
(X) Been tickled
(X) Been robbed/vandalized/had anything stolen from you

Level 11
(X) Won a contest
() Suspended/expelled from school/(lunch detention)
() Been in a motorcycle accident

Level 12
() Had braces
(X) Had deja vu...
() Danced in the moonlight

Level 13
(X) Hated the way you looked
(X) Witnessed a crime

Level 14
(X) Barefoot through the mud
(X) Been lost
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like you were dying

Level 15
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for something with only coins

Level 16
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
() Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

Level 17
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
() Been kissed under a mistletoe
(X) Looked up at the stars with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
() Made a bonfire on the beach

Level 18
(X) Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(X) Gone rollerskating/blading
(X) Had a wish come true

Level 19
X) Worn pearls
() Jumped off a bridge
(X) Ate dog food – when I was a kid
() Told a complete stranger you loved them

Level 20
(X) Sang in the shower - haha alll the time
(X) Glued your hand to something.

Level 21
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) Kissed a fish.
(X) Worn the opposite sex's clothes
(X) Sat on a roof top

Level 22
(X) Screamed at the top of your lungs
() Done a one-handed cartwheel
() Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) Stayed up all night

Level 23
(X) Didn't take a shower for a week-backpacking in canada
(X) Climbed a tree
(X) Had a tree house
(X) Scared to watch scary movies alone - i will only do it if all the lights on but even then I freak out

Level 24
(X) Worn a really ugly outfit to school - Yeah, more than once probably but servant day was the worst!

Level 25
() Played chicken
() Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
() Been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(X) Broken a bone
(X) Been easily amused - always

Level 26
(X) Caught a fish then cooked it and ate it
(X) Caught a butterfly
(X) Laughed so hard you cried
() Cried so hard you laughed

Level 27
() Cheated on a test
(X) Forgotten someone's name

Level 29
(X) Rode a roller coaster
() Went scuba-diving
(X) Had a cavity
() Black-mailed someone
() Been black-mailed

Level 30
(X) Been used
(X) Fell going up or down the stairs
() Bitten someone

THE WHO'S
Who was the last person you told I love you to? My sister
What was the last thing you ate? Cheese stick
What was the last thing you drank?: java chip freezer
What color pants are you wearing?: um nude, I am wearing a skirt
What is the closest item near you that is blue? My skirt
What are you wearing on your feet?: orange and white socks and orange and white sneakers
What instant messaging service do you use?: trillian
What do you wear more, jeans or shorts?: jeans or skirts, never shorts
What is your favorite song right now? Photograph by Nickelback
Where is your favorite place to be? Ebeneezers
Where is your phone?: on the table by me
Where is your mom?: taking a nap at home in PA
Where do you sleep?:in my bed
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing right now?: H & M
Where did you last take a car ride to? To trader joe’s

Five States in the U.S. You've Been To
1. Iowa
2. Michigan
3. Florida
4. Virginia
5. New York

Five Foods You Like
1. steak
2. tacos
3. hummus
4. beef jerky
5. salmon

Five Drinks You Adore
1. quad soy white mocha, iced or hot
2. water
3. mountain dew
4. cherry italian soda
5. hot tea cloud 9 flavor from Gong Fu in Iowa

Five Things You Love
1. God
2. My family
3. iPod
4. Cat Fia
5. my books

70 Questions to End the Summer

2006-08-23T17:20:00.000-05:00

1. Are you in a relationship?
friendships

2. Do you hate more then 3 ppl?
nope

3. How many houses have you lived in?
do you really wanna know, let me see…1, 2, 3, 4, oh boy I could just keep going. All in all I think 14.

4. What is your favorite candy bar?
3 Musketeers

5. What are your favorite shoes?
Don’t have a favorite pair

6. Have you ever tripped someone?
Um no

7. FAVORITE SUMMER TRIP THIS YEAR?
My week in Iowa for my Best Friends wedding!!!

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
Um yeah but it was a gift cause I liked the ONE song

11. Name someone that's ALWAYS on your mind.
Yeesh just one, I can’t cause there’s a couple of them. Beth, Pete, Sarah and Shrigs

12. What is your favorite music genre?
50’s, Country, Praise and Worship

13. What is your sign?
cancer

14. What time were you born?
Mid-day

15. Do you like beer?
no

16. Have you ever made a prank call?
no

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
All my Nsync and before you judge, I never had a NKotB experience

18. Are you sarcastic?
sometimes

19. What is your favorite color?
Red, green, yellow, orange, pink actually all of them

20. How many watches do you own
two but I can’t wear them cause my body shuts them off

21. Summer or Winter?
summer

22. Spring or fall?
FALL

23. What is your favorite color to wear?
Green, red and pink

24. Pepsi or Sprite?
neither

25. What color is your cell phone?
silver

26. Wheres your second home?
My church family

27. Have you ever slapped someone?
Um probably somewhere in my past

28. Have you ever had a cavity?
yes

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom?
1

30. How many video games do you own?
0

31. What was your first pet?
Hickory a dog

32. Have you ever had braces?
nope n

33. Do looks matter?
Well I do need to be attracted

34. Do you use Chapstick?
No allergic to the SPF they use in it

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie?
AE

37. Are you too forgiving?
sometimes

38. How many children do you want?
I’ll figure that out when the time comes

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
no

40. What is your favorite breakfast?
Honey bunches of oats

41. Do you own a gun?
no

42. What was the last thing you ate?
subway

43. When was the last time you cried?
Recently I just can’t remember specifically when

44. What did you do 3 nights ago?
Worked at Ebs

45. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden?
Ages ago

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom?
no

48. What are your nicknames?
Neiner, Neenermyer,

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha?
nope

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky?
nope

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic?
yes

52. Are you thinking about somebody right now?
yep

53. Have you ever called someone Boo?
no

54. Do you smoke?
no

55. Do you own a Diamond ring?
No, don’t really care for diamonds anyway

56. Are you happy with your life right now?
Getting there

57. Do you dye your hair?
I used to but I give up, the gray is going to come whether I want it to or not

58. Does anyone like you?
My friends

59. Who's your best friend(s)
Beth, Shrigs, Sarah and Pete

60. What were you doing May of 1994?
sitting in high school wondering when the pain was gonna end (DITTO)

61. Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?
no

62. McDonald's or Wendy's?
neither, can’t stand fast food

63. Do you like yourself?
I guess

64. Are you closer to your mother or father?
mom

65. Favorite feature(s) of the opposite sex?
eyes!

66. Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes!

67. Have you ever eaten paste?
probably

68. Do you have a webcam?
nope

69. Have you ever been to NYC?
Many times

70. Ever fulfilled a goal?
Yes, I am leaving for Scotland in 15 days!!!! two of my goals at the beginning of the year were to get a car and go to Scotland!!!

Running

2006-08-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

So I went running for the first time since I graduated college in 2003. I forgot how many muscles you utilize when you run. I am so stinkin sore in places I totally forgot about. The bad thing…I work at the Pentagon where I spend the entire day running all over that crazy place opening rooms. To say none the least I have been walking around with a permanent wince on my face. I think it must look pretty funny to people looking at me and wondering what the heck is wrong with that girl. :-)

The upside though is that for not having run in such a long time, I did a pretty good job of keeping up with the group. We ran for 45 min. and approximately a mile and a half. I ran for a good half an hour of that and then finished the last fifteen walking. I am going to keep it up though because it felt good and I really need to lose the weight.

Psalm 9:10

2006-08-23T09:29:00.000-05:00

Psalm 9:10 And they that know Thy name will put their trust in Thee: for Thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek Thee. Psalm 9:10

My best friend sent this to me a while ago and I have had it hanging at my desk for both my jobs now. Its funny though, how something can sit in front of you everyday and you just don’t realize its potential and truth.

I was reminded and rebuked by this verse today. First reminded that God will never forsake them that seek Him and then rebuked because I realize that as much as I love God and truly desire to know Him better I forget to put my trust in Him. I find that as a human being I consistently try to do what I can to make my life better rather than trusting it into the hands of the One who created me in His image and has great purpose in life for me.

Why do we find it so easy to place our trust in humans who will fail us and who are fallible than to take that ultimate step of complete faith and trust in The One who is infallible and completely trustworthy. To know God is to Love God. I really need to take this verse to heart and make it my personal mantra so that I remember to love and trust my life to Him completely.
What could possibly be better than that?

POETRY

2006-08-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

Face in the Mirror

Who is that looking back at me?

Who am I?

And where am I supposed to be?

Different folks tell me

I am different things.

But why can't I just see?

Who is that looking back at me?

The days are short
The nights are long
Will anything ever be the same
Since you are gone?

You gave me hope
A reason to live.
But now I just die
With nothing to give.

You gave me love
And I thought I was something.
When you left me
Love did too and now I am nothing.

When will you return?
I need you in my life.
With you around
I know that I can survive.

The days are short
The nights are long.
Will anything ever be the same
Since you are gone?

AUTUMN

Golden Leaves

Yellow Sheaves

Chocolate Trees

Lazy Bees

Orange Flowers

Red Apples

Mellow Sun

Lotsa Fun

Apple Ciders

Hidden Spiders

Chilly Hayrides

Pumpkin Pies

Queen of the Night

Moon so Bright

King of Day

Sun so Gay

Summers End

New School Trend

School Uniform

Thunder Storm

ODE TO MY BROTHER THE MARINE

They said you'd never do it.

Tourette Syndrome blew your chances

Yet you pursued it.

I remember playing army in the sand

And in the quarry with the little green men and

Then in the woods with each other.

I remember watching you realize

That Tourette Syndrome would ruin your life

And would all your dreams deny.

I remember watching your frustration

With your twitching and noises that you

Never could seem to control.

I saw the medicines never work.

I saw your dejection from the rejection

From friends who turned to jerks.

I remember your defeating that rejection

Turning it around in another direction

By becoming "one of the boys."

I have seen your dream apprehended

To become onf the FEW, the PROUD, the SPLENDID,

A United States Marine.

Vacation!!

2006-08-21T13:43:00.000-05:00

I have never looked so much forward to a vacation as I am this one to Scotland. I am so exhausted from work and school that I just can’t wait. I almost wish I had an extra couple of days before I left to catch up on sleep so that I could fully enjoy the entire trip to Scotland.

I have been working myself to the bone. I really need to re-evaluate my priorities. I am working full-time as a contracted employee to the Pentagon. I then work part-time as a barista at my church’s café. I also am going to Grad School full-time. On top of all that I am trying to stay involved with church and my friends. Something needs to go and I have a feeling it may be school.

I started going for my MBA for all the wrong reasons anyway and I don’t really see where I’ll ever use it. Besides stressing over classes, I am wracking up more debt that if I don’t ever use it, will just follow me for another good 10 years. YEACH!!!

For right now I just look forward to the fact that I am in the last week of my corporate finance class and then I get a 7 week break from any kind of classes. I am only taking half a semester this time so that I do not have to worry about having to find the time while in Scotland to do homework. How not fun would that be. I work at the café up to the 31st of Aug. Then I am tentatively going to Philly for Labor Day weekend. Then I have three days at the Pentagon then I am gone to SCOTLAND FOR AWHILE!!!!!!!

Who knows maybe I won’t come back!!! I’ll just find a nice little thatched cottage up in the highlands to hide away in for the rest of my life. Wouldn’t that be nice, well first find a husband to take there with me J!

Missions

2006-08-16T11:44:00.000-05:00

So my church just finished a series of sermons/conference focusing on Missions. It is something they do every year with the slogan being “Pray, Give, Go”. The last topic was risks and risk taking. Pastor Josh Karrer put before the church that faith is basically risk. We were challenged to follow that Gut-feeling God put in us no matter what the risk. If you don’t step out in faith/risk nothing would ever get done.

So I have decided it is time to start praying and asking for prayer regarding a decision I must make. The job that I am in is a one year contract with options to stay if I prove to be valuable. Now when my contract comes up for bid next fall, I think I am going to take a month off and spend it in Scotland. Recently a young married couple left the states for Edinburgh to start an amazing ministry.

Scotland has always been my heart and passion as well as “young” people. So Lord willing and through much prayer over the next year, I am hoping to be able to take that month and go to Edinburgh and hopefully get the opportunity to work with this couple and the others there.

Please pray:

That God will provide direction
That I will honestly seek His direction
That when the time is right God will open the hearts of my bosses to grant me this time
For the Schmidgall’s in Edinburgh
For Eikon

“Little Black Book”

2006-08-16T11:39:00.000-05:00

So I realized that I am constantly saying that I will pray for people and I realize that I write these prayer requests down on many different slips of paper. As my dearest friend Beth can attest to, in planning for her wedding, slips get lost and misplaced. So on that thought process I decided to buy a “little black book” that I could carry around with me every where to write down prayer requests as I receive them. Now I only bought it just last night but I have started transferring slips into it. I plan to also make sure to keep it with me at work so that when there is a down time I can start praying through the list. This will be a good thing for me to help me to stay in constant conversation with my Lord and Savior.

2006-08-14T12:49:00.000-05:00

25 more days until SCOTLAND!!!!!!!!!

I Exchange...

2006-08-13T11:59:00.000-05:00

My weariness for His strength,
My weakness for His power,
My darkness fo rHis light,
My problems for His solutions,
My burdens for His freedom,
My frustrations for His peace,
My turmoil for His calm,
My hopes for His promises,
My afflictions for His balm of comfort,
My questions for His answers,
My confusion for His knowledge,
My doubt for His assurance,
My nothingness for His awesomeness,
The temporal for the eternal,
And the impossible for the possible!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

I almost got mugged tonight!!! What the heck is with me and this city?!?!?!?

So I ran to 7-eleven, because I was having a pity party for myself and no pity party is complete with out the gratuitous pint of ice cream. As I was walking home, mind you my apartment building is one block from the store, I hear this basketball bouncing across the street and behind me. I pay no attention cause when its bouncing you know where the kids are. Well then it stops bouncing. ALL TOGETHER, nothing, I hear no voices nothing!!! I suspected something when it stopped but then when it didn't start back up at all I was VERY suspicious. With good cause, having been mugged once I have no desire to be mugged again. If it means I am somewhat rude and "racial" then so be it, I am only that way at night!! Well the next thing I know I hear someone trip behind me and sure enough I turned around and there is this little maybe 10 or 11 year old sneaking up on me. He stopped and pretended to do, i don't know what when I turned around but I knew, I AM NOT STUPID!!! SO i sped up and turned into my building. As I am opening the door to go in I turn one more time and this kid crosses the street to join up with his two buddies as they yell at me "BITCH". Why am I the bitch when they are the ones who were going to try and mug me. Why am I the one who suffers the indignation of this insult when they are stupid little kids who should know better than to attack people or call people rude names.

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO!!!???!!!??? GOD PLEASE TAKE ME HOME!!!! BY THE WAY THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUT FOR ME!!!!!!!! I know that only You and You alone gave me the keen sense of hearing tonight and the protective arms around me. Thank you!!!!

Great Essay by Joel Stein

2006-08-10T22:49:00.000-05:00

I really enjoyed this.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST MAKE MEL HAPPY
Attacking anti-Semitism hasn't got us far in 3,000 years. It's time for some changes.

Most times, when someone spouts off about how awful the Jews are, I blow it off as ignorance. If the guy just got to know us, he would totally dig us. We're funny and warm and smart and totally self-effacing. We send Ben Stiller to Iran for a few weeks, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be opening up Noah's bagel shops in all the strip malls in Tehran. The only problem is that with just 0.02% of the world's population, we can't do nearly as many personal appearances as we'd like. That's why we took over the media.

But Mel Gibson knows us--personally. He's been in Hollywood for more than 20 years, virtually surrounded by Jews. If Mel doesn't like us, maybe it's finally time to stop blaming everyone else for the bigotry and scapegoating and start to look at ourselves. As the saying goes, if people hate you for 1,000 years, you can blame them, if you're persecuted for 2,000 years, maybe you're unlucky; but if they still want to kill you after 3,000 years, you have to ask yourself if you're doing something wrong.

So we Jews are going to have to make some slight adjustments to get on the world's good side. No more smiting our enslavers with locusts or refusing to convert during Inquisitions or giving ourselves Oscars for Holocaust documentaries. We've got to up our likability, get on people's good sides.

The first thing we have to do is drop the Chosen Peopletm marketing bit. It's not working. Not only is it not scaring people off as it was designed to do, but it comes off as sort of arrogant. I'm suggesting we change our official slogan to Just One of the Guystm or the People Who Believe in Most of Your Bibletm or even the People Who, if History is a Guide, Are Not Among God's Favoritestm. We'll need to get Karl Rove involved.

You know how a lot of Jewish performers change their names so they don't offend anyone with all that Jewishness? Emmanuel Goldberg changed his name to Edward G. Robinson, and Jonathan Leibowitz threw us all off the trail with Jon Stewart. How about if all the rest of hte Jews do it too? I'm considering Joe Crockett. I also like the sound of Johnny Slayer. Plus, coming up with 14 million new names will be a kind of WPA project for all the Jewish writers. Because we have to back off the controlling-the-media thing a tad.

We could do ourselves a lot of good by stopping our whole Protocols of the Elders of Zion plan. It's been more than 100 years since the book has been out, and we have yet to come close to our goal of (I'm using the Iranian translation here) "extracting from the hands of the Lord many stars and galaxies." In fact, we have yet to extract one single star or glalaxy. Let's drop it! One of our methods of controlling the universe according to the book, was to get people hooked on alcohol. And look how that backfired last week.

Also, we need to stop killing other people's messiahs. O.K., it was actually the Romans who killed Jesus, but we were there. And even if it had been us, you'd think the Catholics would thanks us, since otherwise they'd have churches today full of statues of a bald old guy clutching his heart in hospice care, and who's showing up every Sunday for that? But still, it's better if we stay far away from any messiahs. Even if a guy clearly isn't the Messiah but is just saying he is--walk away. There's nothing to gain there.

Until Gibson told his arresting officers that "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," I didn't realize that was our thing. If it is, let's drop it. I would have thought that the guy who made Braveheart, The Patriot, Gallipoli and When We Were Soldiers and has directed some of the most violent, angry scenes in cinema would love war. But I guess he doesn't.

And most of all, we have to stop this finger wagging at Gibson. Endeavor agent Ari Emanuels has written that no studio would work with him anymore. Bad call. We don't want to get in a battle here. In a popularity contest between Mel Gibson and Jews, it doesn't look so good for hte Jews. Better we laugh this off, maybe respond with a jibe at the Australians, like how they make simplistic, ovelry fruit-forward red wines. Then we all have a chuckle and subtle suggest another dead language for him to teach himself for his next movie. We've got to give the guy as much busywork as possible.

TIME Magazine, August 14th 2006, Page 78

SOMEDAY!!!!

2006-08-08T21:43:00.000-05:00

I want to own a car just like this. I want to be able to get it and fix it up and listen to it purr. They really just don't make cars this way anymore.

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time period. Oh well what do I know. God knows best right :-).

I am utterly exhausted and need major prayer. I am stuck in a class for grad school right now, that I can't drop and I don't understand whatsoever. No one has ever called me a financial mastermind for a very good reason...I am most definitely not one. :-)

Tea Time in Scotland

wow twice in one week

whoa

Full MOON?!?!?!?!?!?!

It's been awhile

Out with the Old and in with the NEW

Wow!!!

Update

My fabulous weekend and "star" experience

The best and the worst of it.

How depressing :-)

10 years ago today

I DID IT and here are my results.

J's Jewelry Designs

Transformers and Harry Potter

My new life verse!

OY!

Tryin something out and Scotland

A very belated Father's Day post

"milestones"

verrry interesting *thoughtful skeptisism*

My Bug-a-boo

Things to do today

My Brother the Marine

How big is your God?

I did it!!

and I'm back.

this should not have happened!!!!

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

realizations

Bio for the program of Godspell and pic.

National Community Church Production of Godspell

I am officially registered

It has begun...

Psalm 95 and 96

Hope, Be Undismayed: Conversations in bed

My heart is clinging tightly...

I LOVE BIBLEGATEWAY.COM

The Sermon on the Mount

when will it be MY turn?!

State of my attempt to follow God

FRIGID Temps

Oh yeah now this fits~

Psalm 8

Finally a real relaxing weekend

I was tagged

Worst Dream

GOOOOOO PATS!!!!!!!!

waxing frustrated angry and political

It's that time of year...

YIPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking back the Margins, regaining “Control”

God speaks through music that I so desperately needed to hear

I GIVE UP!

In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day

So long, farewell, come back soon!!

Eijit

MY COMPUTER DIED!!!!!!!!!!

MY COMPUTER DIED!!!!!!!!!!

A few of my favorites

New Developments

The Weekend Update :-)

GIRLS

The little hints!

IN A PIT WITH A LION ON A SNOWY DAY

Editor, Producer, Director

Coffee and Cigarettes

I’m home…or am I?

sorry guys

September 13, 2006 Day 5

September 11th, 2006 Day 3 and Remembrance

XANGA

September 10th, Day 2

As Promised….

We made it!!!!

Vacation

WE ARE GO FOR TAKEOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random thoughts

Six Topics, Ten Questions

“No news is good news” and a different perspective

verrry interesting thoughtful skeptisism