more about me

I shut others out when I'm depressed: unfortunately yes
I open up to others easily: sometimes too much
I hate more than love: no
I own over 4 rap CDS: no way can’t stand rap
I love Disney Movies: yeah…so?

I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation: nope
I have a job: yes two
I am self conscious: yes
I like to laugh: you better believe it
I smoke a pack a day: no way, I’m allergic
I can't swallow pills: I can but am finding as I get older it gets harder
I eat fast food weekly: never
I've been out of this country: Bermuda and Canada, Scotland this fall
I believe in ghosts: not that I can see them but that the Devil uses them for his purposes yes
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room: you better believe it, I am extremely arachniphobic
I am very ticklish: oh yes
I love white chocolate: no
I bite my nails: nope
I am comfortable with being me: sorta
I play video games: no
Gotten lost in a city: nope
Saw a shooting star: yes
Had a serious Surgery: yeah three of them
I have Kissed a Stranger: nope
Hugged a stranger: don’t know
Been arrested: no
Argued for the fun of it: I don’t think so
Swore at your parents: no
Skipped school: nope
Gotten stitches: heavens yes
Bitten someone: nope
Gotten the chicken pox: yeah
Ridden in a taxi: yep
Been fired: never
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: most definitely
Stole something from your job: nope
Been married: not yet
Been on a plane: yup
Thrown up within the last two years: probably but can’t remember
Had someone cheat on you: does playing with your heart and leading you on count? Then yes and then he married someone else I knew
Miss someone right now: definitely

Middle name: Suzette
School: Walden University for MBA
Birthday: June 26, 1980
Astrological sign: cancer
Chinese sign: um?
Do you even believe in astrology?: nope
Are your parents still together?: yes
Are you the youngest or oldest? Oldest of three
What size shoes do you wear?: 7 1/2 or 8
What size ring do you wear?: um?

Interests ---

What's your favorite sport?: FOOTBALL
Favorite sports team?: PATRIOTS
Do you play any instruments?: piano, baritone, drums, trumpet
Are you in band?: no
Favorite actor: Sean Connery, Cary Grant
Favorites actress: Reese Witherspoon, Doris Day
Favorite comedian: don’t have one
Favorite band: Mercy Me and Casting Crowns


Random ---


Were you born in the city?: no
Country?: yes
Suburbs?: eh okay
Ever been to Niagra falls?: yes
Ever been to Africa?: no and no desire to go
What's your favorite drink?: water
Do you like to shop?: no
Like video games?: no
Cards?: solitare
Asparagus?: love
Seinfeld?: no
The OC?: no
Ever been to New York?: yes
How long have you had AIM for?: a while
Xanga?: not anymore

Do you like broccoli? yes
Are you a Harry Potter fan? Oh yeah
Lord of the Rings?: yea
Star Wars?: the originals not the new
Do you like Superman or Batman?: superman
Are you a procrastinator? When I don’t have a set deadline
Do you think Paris Hilton is hot?: heavens no
What nationality are you?: mostly Scottish, then German
Are you sure?: yes why aren't you!?
Ever see someone die?: my cat died in my arms does that count?
Been to a funeral?: yes
Ever been a part of a wedding?: yes
Do you have a job? yes
Do you like dairy?: lactose intolerant
Meat?: medium well steak, chicken and turkey
Fruit?: apples
Vegetables?: definitely
Ever been to Sweden? no
Do you always wear a watch? Never, I turn them off
Favorite flavor of ice cream: mint choco chip and rocky road
How do you like your coffee?: prefer espresso but…sugar and cream
Do you get good grades? Oh yeah
Do you want to get married?: YES!!!!!!!
Have kids?: don’t have any and not really sure if I want any yet. I don’t have to decide that yet anyway, I am still “young”
What do you want to be?: an astronaut, a Scottish citizen and a part of the SNP (Scottish Nationalist party)
What's your favorite color?: yellow, red, orange, pink anything bright and happy
Ever been in a cult?: no
Are you Jewish?: no
Do you wear converse? no
Shop at AE: nope
Hollister?: nope
Aero?: nope
Gap?: yeah
Hot Topic?: nope
Banana Republic? nope
How long do you spend putting on make up?: don’t wear it
Do you like Bush?: sure, but not all his decisions
What's the last movie you saw in theatres?: V for Vendetta
What's your favorite genre of movies?: Action, Mystery, Romantic Comedy
Do you wear a lot of jewelry?: no two rings and a necklace, bracelet and earrings if I remember to put them on
What's your favorite holiday?: 4th of July, Independence Day
Ever meet a celebrity?: Peter Gallagher
Ever been to a country concert?: no
What about a classical concert?: no
A rock concert?: no
Do you like to mosh?: no
Are you in a band?: no
Ever see your favorite artist live? Yes, two of them at the same time
Do you drive?: yes
Do you live in one of those huge neighborhoods with a million plastic houses: no
Do you like playing in the snow?: not really
The rain?: I like a nice warm gentle rain
Afraid of lightning or thunder?: I LOVE THEM!
Do you watch the news?: yeah, I live in DC how can you not?
Are you sad this is over?: no

You know sometimes I wonder how God can be so patient and forgiving. Doesn't He ever get tired of me being a selfish brat? I mean I get tired of myself. Yet He still gives me a new day with a new chance to be what He wants me to be. I was thinking about this because I have been really making an effort to surrender myself to Him every morning. So far He continues to keep me in His palm and remind me to do it everyday. Not that by so far He would ever stop, it's more like I would stop. The next step I need to make is to take time every day and get to know Him more through studying His word and heartfelt prayer. I never realized how hard it is to make time everyday. Especially when you are working two jobs, grad school, soccer, softball and trying to have a life. When do I find the time? I thought about doing it in the morning but my alarm already goes off and 5:30 am every morning and there is no way I could get up any early than that and have a productive day. At night I usually get home and do homework, watch tv and try to wind down for the day. I know that this would be the best time to do it, but...

I need to just cut the crap and the excuses and do it. Nothing is more important than getting to know my Father more. How can I live a life that Glorify's Him if I am not even getting to know what it is that He likes and is?

Thank you to all my friends who daily prayer for me and love me know matter what I do or say. Also thank you for your prayers regarding housing. Hyla and I have decided that we are 99.5% sure that I will be moving in, June 1st. I am really excited!!!

I love you Beth and am so stinkin happy that God has blessed you with such a wonderful man!!!!

Mercy Me

Mercy Me's new CD came out this past week and all I have to say is Praise God for such a wonderful group who brings honor and glory to His name is such a wonderful way. Their words and music serve as a constant reminder and challenge for all who listen to Glorify God and to say no to self.

some of my favorits from this CD are No More No Less, Bring the Rain, So Long Self and Last One Standing.

No More No Less
I'm not trying to hide anything
I wear it on my sleeve
I wear it on my sleeve.
I'm not trying to be something I'm not
This is all I've got
This is all I've got.
I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel
Just trying to be real
Trying to be real.
I'm not trying to say follow me
I'm not the one who leads,
I'm not the one who leads.

Let me introduce myself to you
This is who I am
No more no less
I am just a man who understands
because of You I'm blessed
No more no less.

I'm not trying to prove anything
It's all about the change
It's all about the change

Let me introduce myself to you
This is who I am
No more no less
I am just a man who understands
because of You I'm blessed
No more no less.

I hope you stare just long enough to see
The heart that's beating here inside of me
beyond all of the things you may think you know
I'm just a kid trying to make it home that's it
No more no less
Lord I want to go home
Nothing more nothing less.

So Long Self

Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
you understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worth
So let me say

So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long self

Stop right there because I know what you're thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Can't you see

So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong b ut you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away

So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long

Surrender

I am giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
I am giving You my dreams, I am laying down my rights
I am giving up my pride for the promise of new life.

I am singing You this song, I am waiting at the cross,
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss,
For the sake of knowing You, the glory of Your name,
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain.
by: Marc James

God I surrender my heart fully and sincerely. I know that I will wake up everyday and try to take it back, but please remind me that this is what I have said to you.

I surrender my desire to be with someone, and trust that You and You alone are all I need. Trust that you will give me what is best for me and will Glorify You. I trust that you know exactly what I "need" and what I desire and will give them to me at the time and place that is right for You and will bring the most Glory to Your name.

I surrender my desire to grow more and more like you in the hope and trust that You will take that desire and use it for Your Glory by helping me to make time for You every day and to get to know You more.

I surrender my pride and my feelings that You owe me something when I know that You owe me nothing but I owe You everything. I surrender my stubborness and my bitterness. Please help me to make things right with Jason so that I can move and move past and better live my life for You.

I surrender my living situation and the possibility of a new one completely to You. I will trust in You and Your desire to see Your children happy and in a situation to Honor and Glorify You.

I surrender my anger, my jealousy and my impatience. Please take them and make me and mold me into a women after Your own heart and a lamp to the world of Your honor and glory!!!

Tennis

Okay so I know that I love watching tennis, especially when it is Andy Roddick playing or Roger Fedderer, however I had never actually picked up a racket in my life. That is until yesterday. There is this Alpha group that I am involved with and we had this really great day away yesterday. We got together at a place other than where we normally meet and talked about the Holy Spirit and enjoyed getting to know each other. So anyway they had tennis courts and there were a couple of extra rackets and balls, so this girl Melissa that I met and I decided to give it a shot. Well I must say I have never felt so inept and out of my league as I did. But I also discovered that I really love tennis not only watching it but trying my hand at playing. I am by no means any good but it is just plain fun. I will however have to make a mental note to wrap my ankles before playing cause all the running around the court you do I rolled them a couple of times. I keep forgetting that I have weak ankles cause I haven't played a sport in so long that required so much stopping and turning on a dime. Oh well, I just need to remember that but I am definitely going to keep playing and learning to play better. I hope to post a couple pics later. It was funny cause I "felt" so professional, I was wearing a skort and when I tucked the balls in the pockets I felt like Maria Sharpanova and Venus Williams. Like that would ever be a reality :-). Any way that was my foray into the tennis world and now I love to play and watch.

stringin me along

I sometimes wonder if God likes to play pranks on His children and string them along. (the rambling thoughts of a desperate woman)

As you all know I am desperately trying to get out of the bad living situation that I am in. I would ultimately prefer to live on my own but if that doesn't work then I would want to live with only one person. I can't handle living with a couple of girls again, what with the hormones, mood swings and many different senses of interior design. I also won't do the guy roommate thing ever again because they are slobs!!!!!!! Sorry to all you unique gentlemen out there who actually clean. (I LUV U BRO!!!)

So anyway...I thought I had kinda found a place with a friend from the Church I attend. However there are some strings that God keeps droppin in the way and I kinda feel like HE likes doing it. So I have a cat because, well you know us single women, (well at least me), I needed some sort of companionship to come home too. So yeah, this place is a great two bedroom apartment near where I work in the evenings and to the red line metro which would put me right at work. It is with a great person who has actually been living alone for some time and isn't sure about the whole roommate thing either and it is decently priced and in an okay neighborhood.

Here's the string though, we aren't "allowed" to have pets. However there are many cats and dogs in the building because the rule is not enforced and as long as the landlord doesn't see anything when you finally leave then they don't say anything.

Well the thing is, do I do the "right" thing and obey the landlord and keep searching or do I do what everyone else has done and just move in anyway and keep Fia clean? I mean she is a clean cat as it is, she knows where her litter box is and hasn't made any messes since I have had her. She is a generally quiet and relaxed cat and when she gets fixed in May she'll be even better.

Why can't God just let me find a place, I mean I am trying to do the right thing in getting my life back on track for Him but... I mean I know He wants us to trust Him and maybe He is testing me, I just wish He wouldn't test me in this area because I am in a terrible situation that I really must get out of.

I just can't win can I!! What would you have me do Lord? I mean I know I just begged you to give me the peace of mind and heart that so many of my friends have found, but is this really the way to do it? Please help me out here... I need out really bad, I can't handle this situation anymore!!!

If you have five minutes...

Current mood: stressed

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4:
…uations that everyone accepts as facts, and (2) personal data.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. whats there?
My manager

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Locals on the eights on the weather channel

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
3:00 pm

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:33pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My head boss talking to her daughter and co-workers typing and Mercy Me

7. When did you last step outside?
1:45pm

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
a friend's myspace

9. What are you wearing?
Black pants, black tank, red silk tank, and black button down sweater

10. Did you dream last night?
No

11. When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Monthly Calendar, painting of Scotland done for me by a friend, 60 day wall calendar and lots of little post-its of things to do and people to call.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not that I can think of at the moment

14. What do you think of this quiz?
A nice quick break from the monotany of work

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off college loans and purchase a 1938 Cheverlot Coupe, my dad an Aston Marin, my Mum a mini coupe and a home in Scotland

17. Tell something about you that most people don't know:
I dream big but never believe that I can achieve them.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
All war

19. Do you like to dance?
Sure, but I’m not great by any standards

20. George Bush:
Not sure what to think of him right now

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Don’t know

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Nathaniel Burton

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Definitely, planning to next year

24. Person you want to see the most right now?
Beth, Sarah and Shriggles

surveys

1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight?
a bruised knee but my brother broke his hand :-)

2. Most money you ever owed a utility company?
Always pay my bills on time

3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
never

4. Longest time you slept in a car?
can’t sleep in a moving vehicle

5. Most terrible nickname you've ever been given?
Well get creative with my last name because I won’t repeat what they were on here. It’s Neiner as in 9er

6. Worst job you ever had?
working as a waitress at a little hole in the wall called Dino and Francesco’s in Clarks Summit, PA

7. Shortest job you've ever had?
data entry temp job for a medical insurance company

8. Longest romantic relationship?
relationship? What relationship?

9. Shortest romantic relationship?
see above

10. Food that you would eat till you puked?
um….

11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
sauerkraut

12. What music saved your life?
Mercy Me and Casting Crowns

13. Person you miss the most in the world?
my best friends and my Grannie (mum's mom) and Grandpop (dad's dad)

14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
Night of the living dead (have never watched another horror movie in my life.

15. Best movie you've ever seen?
Pride and Prejudice by A&E and BBC

16. Craziest thing you've ever done sober?
hmm, gone skydiving when I was afraid of heights and had never been in a plane before

17. Ever almost die?
nope

18. Ever fist-fight a member of the opposite sex?
nope

19. Best place you have ever lived?
Washington, DC

20. Worst place you have ever lived?
Pittsburg, but not because of the people

21. Bad habit you have had for the longest time?
I always have to say something

22. Noise that makes you want to punch people?
people that smack their gum and scuff their feet

23. Your favorite tattoo?
have none, can’t stand them

24. Least favorite tattoo?
see above

25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or Mac and cheeze?
dry ramen

26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
I don't know, but it probably wasn't much.

27. Best gift you ever got?
Tough to say...

28. Best pet you ever had?
fia and dyani

29. Ever run from the cops?
no

30. Money or health?
um…health

31. Recognition, Raise or Promotion?
RAISE

First thoughts.
Write your first reaction or thoughts

1. I need: money

2. Sex: um yeah

3. Relationships: want one

4. Your Last Ex: um don’t have one

5. Power: control

6. Marijuana: pointless

7. Crack: jump them in the side walk

8. Food: CHEERIOS!!!!

9. This President: would love to meet him

10. War: hate it

11. Cars: 1938 Cheverlot Coupe

12. Gas Prices: over the top

13. Halloween: whatever…

14. Bon Jovi: hotter as the years go by

15. Religion: its about a relationship not a religion

16. MySpace: connection to friends from college

17. Worst Fear: never being what God wants me to be

18. Marriage: someday

19. Fashion: aaa leave it to hollywood

20. Brunette: hotter than blondes J

21. Redhead: nicole kidman

22. RESPECT: definitely

23. Pass the time: reading, sudoku, beading and listening to my iPod

24. Football: GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sept. is coming

25. One night Stands: as if, not likely to happen

26. Pet Peeve: blinkers left on after they turned

27. Pixie Stix: childish candy

28. Vanilla Ice: ice ice baby J

29. PORTA POTTIES: construction zones

30. High school: hated it

31. Pajamas: boxers and tank top

32. Wood: fresh cut smells so good

33. Surfers: blonde

34. Pictures: wish I took more

35. First Love: Samuel Dagger

I'm Honest are you?

ANSWER EVERY QUESTION NO LIES!! DONT TAKE IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE!

1.WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX IF YOU COULD?
Never had an ex but if I could get back with the guy I have loved forever then the honest answer would have to be yes as much as I hate to say it.

2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yello tank top

3. HAVE YOU MADE OUT WITH ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
nope

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
nope

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Most all of them

7. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
Not sure that I ever want to have any. Maybe if I find the right guy I will but for right now I don’t

8. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yes, better with my Mum than my dad but I have a good relationship with both.

9. DO YOU MAKE OVER 40K A YEAR?
Nope, not yet

11. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Well if I were a boy Nathaniel Burton and I don’t think I would pick any other female name because my name is so unique

14. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Well I through myself a barbeque and then we went out with a bunch of friends from work my sister her boyfriend and my brother. It was good times.

15. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

16. WHAT TIME DID U WAKE UP?
5:30 AM

17.WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
Homework for grad school

18. HOW MANY EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Don’t have any ex’s

19. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
No!!! I hate it

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO...
Find the man of my dreams and go to Scotland this fall and then move there next spring

23. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Easter weekend she came down to visit me.

24. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLINGS?
Yes, my sis is a good friend and my bro is a great buddy

25. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
Loose the extra 20 pounds I got after graduating and moving into the real world

26. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Pay off college loans

27. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
1 year and 11 months

28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
nope

29. LAST PERSON YOU CALLED?
My Mum cause it’s her Birthday!!!

30. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pears in water and peanuts

31. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
September because it’s fall and FOOTBALL SEASON STARTS!!!!!

32. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
January

33. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Um I can’t remember the last time I borrowed an article of clothing

35. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
Walden University

36. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Amber Evans, my bro’s girlfriend

37. LAST PERSON THAT MADE YOU SAD?
Someone whom I care very deeply about

38. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Most definitely


39. FAVORITE TYPE OF DRINK?
Water and skim, decaf white mocha

40. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tacos and steak

41. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Um not really a dessert person

42. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Nope but will finally get there this fall!!!!! whoohooo

44. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well if it were Osama or Zarqawi or Hussein I would laugh with glee and do a little dance but otherwise I don’t hate people

45. DO YOU OWN A CAMERA PHONE?
yes

IF YOU ANSWERED ALL THESE HONESTLY REPOST
"I'm honest. Are you?"

update on a place to live

Okay so my one roommate the one that I actually kind of get along with is moving out this weekend. I am still desperately looking. The last place I told you about is actually a co-op that I can't afford to buy into. I have a couple of other places I am planning to check out but would appreciate any prayer that could be sent up on my behalf to find a place to live.

I am really ready to live on my own and not have any roommates. I don't think I can handle living with people any more :-).

I also just got the new Mercy Me CD in the mail today "Coming up to Breathe" I must say it is excellent. I really love it and them. God has used them in such wondrous ways. Okay thats it for today.

Okay GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am on my knees, I don't know what else to do or how to do it. I just need you to take complete control and just heal me and put me back together. I am begging you, I am so tired of looking to man to fill the emptiness I feel. I want what everyone else has found...peace in You!!! I want it so bad and I am asking you, laying bare my heart to you!! I need you GOD, I need you like the deer needs water, like the earth needs sun, like the baby needs it's mother, like a flower needs the soil. Please take over every part of me and give me that peace. I am not sure how to do it but I just offer myself fully and completely up to YOU!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I WANT YOUR PEACE that you so freely offer. I want to be able to rely completely and solely on you. PLEASE I AM BEGGING, if I could get down on my knees in the office I would. I love you and I know that you love me, you show me every day in that you give me breathe and create in me a need for You.

I might have found a new place to live!!!!!!!

I am really excited because this new place will finally be just mine!! I don't have to share with any roommates. I will have my own dining room, living room and kitchen. I can decorate how I want and clean as often as I want with out people calling me a neat freak!!! Whooppeeeee!!!! Plus I can still have my baby Fia around.

I will know by the end of this week. All my friends out there I would appreciate the prayers that this works. Here is the site that shows some pics and the floorplans for the one bedroom apartments. www.thcapitolhill.com check it out and let me know what you think :-).

Oh and praise God for being a full-time student and employee. I got a great tax return this year that will pay off my Scotland trip and allow me to move! I am so excited, I have my appointment to turn in my passport info on the 4th of May and then it is just sitting and waiting for the day I leave.

Just a few examples of why I love Scotland...

The Castles

The Kilts and Bagpipes

Loch NESS!!!!

I don't want to come back. I think I will marry a Scotsman and just stay there forever!! I will finally have found my earthly home before heading to my heavenly home. Whoopeee!!!

Cherry Blossoms!!!!

I love spring and the Cherry Blossoms in DC. I thought i would just share a couple of pictures with everyone so that you could share in the beauty. God Bless!!!

In CHRIST alone

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of hte world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

UPDATE

Okay so many new and some wonderful things have been happening in my life lately. Concerning work...I am actively working towards more responsibility with in my position. I also was approved for my Top Secret security clearance opening doors to work with our DoD group.

In regards to financial, I have finally paid off the last of my debt not including college loans. It is such a freeing feeling. I also did my taxes and am getting back quite a large sum due to the fact that I am a full-time student!!! Hooray!!!! This will allow me to pay off my Grandmum for the Scotland trip. That means that I no longer have to stress about working so many hours in order to pay for the trip and earn spending money. Now everything I make will go directly to spending money for Scotland!!!!!!!!!!!!

As it pertains to life...I am attending a Monday night Bible study and a Wednesday night service. I am almost done one full year out of two of Grad School. I have also come to the realization from reading friends blogs and websites that I am the only person who has not followed her dreams. SO....

After tax time next year I am definitely planning to move to Scotland and pursue the life I have always dreamed of. I have so many connections there with family and friends from work who know folks that I shouldn't have a single problem finding a place to live or a job to work. I have also realized that because I have been so unsettled about this that I think that is why God has not allowed anyone to come into my life yet.

I have been reading this great book by John Eldredge called "The Journey of Desire" and it has made me realize that God gives us desire to test us to see if we really trust him enough to step out and follow them through. It has also showed me how prayer is such an important part of our relationships with God. He provides that outlet for talking to Him and sharing with us how He wants to use us. I have to remind myself that He is the One who gives us our every desire and will provide a way for us to see it through.

"Desire gives fervor to prayer. The sould cannot be listless when some great desire fixes and inflames it...Strong desires make strong prayers...The neglect of prayer is the fearful token of dead spiritual desires...There can be no true praying without desire. (E.M. Bounds: Man of Prayers)"

More to come later...

I miss FOOTBALL!!!!

Okay I didn't realize how much I miss watching football and talking football until yesterday. I was checking out my teams site again for the 1000th time to see if I could get any inkling of what was going through their heads to let some of our best players go.

A little while later I got an e-mail from the site letting me know that NFL.com had finally posted the 2006 schedule. The pathetic thing about this is, I immediately went to the site to print my teams schedule to put it on my calendar. As I was putting the games on my schedule I realized I was going to miss two of them when I was in Scotland and I actually was very sad.

I am going to be in the place I have dreamed of going for years and I was still sad that I was going to miss two games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is something wrong with me :-). I guess I will have to make sure I get an air card that provides me with internet access while I am there so that I can check the games progress.

The other pathetic thing is that I miss football so much I actually have the draft days on my calendar so that I can watch the draft. I realize that each year as I watch more and more football, I become more and more addicted to the sport. I absolutely love football. I love fall and I live for when I can start watching games again!!!!!!!!!!!!

123456....

So someone pointed out to me that today at 1:02:03pm on 04.05.06 we will live through something that will never happen again. In case you missed the number sequence previously written I will write it again. 1:02:03PM, 04.05.06 Enjoy that tidbit of nonsense and have a great day.

Mr. Darcy

So I have this acquaintance that used to be a friend that reminds me of Mr. Darcy. In 'Pride and Prejudice' Darcy tells Elizabeth that his biggest weakness is that if someone loses his friendship it is lost forever. Thus the pride.

This is where the comparison begins with this friend. I messed up with them a couple of years ago and have been paying for it ever since. Not for lack of trying to fix it that's for sure but...they seem to be informing me with their actions that they don't care for my friendship at all. I mean we aren't talking a light friendship that was ruined we are talking about a friendship where this person knew almost everything there is to know about me. In fact I needed to put them on my security clearance form because they were the only person that I still had "contact" with from the one school that I went to. I jokingly warned them not to make anything up and they said back you should be more worried that I know everything.

Well anyway, I had invited this friend to get together for coffee this weekend and catch up. I figured at our age we could both be "man" enough to move on and try again at this friendship. I ended up leaving a message and telling them about this great little place where I work and that I would be hanging around there this weekend and to give me a call if they were interested in trying to catch up.

I knew for a fact that this person was around for the weekend because I had to pass where they live to get to work and I saw their car outside. Well to say none the least this person doesn't have to guts to be a "man". I mean I am talking didn't even bother to call at all, not even to say no it wouldn't work out. The sad thing is, this person is interning for a leadership role within a church and you would think that someone wanting to be in leadership would know that bitterness or pride are unacceptable.

I am just so frustrated and tired of trying to do the "right" thing. I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't miss their friendship and the conversations and wisdom, they have provided in the past, so much.

It would be crazy to stay here when I am sooooooo homesick for HEAVEN!!!!!

"I have not been called to the wisdom of this world..
But to a God who is calling out to me..
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity"

I don't know why I am so at war within myself. There are days I selfishly want to stay on this earth so that I can experience things you can't experience in Heaven. But then there are the days when I selfishly want to go HOME because life would just be so much easier at Home with my Father.

I really don't know why on earth I want to stay here, the only reason would be to glorify and honor Him but I am not even seeming to do a good job of that. I mean I live my life the way He would want, I've been truly blessed by Him to help me fix some things in my life that really needed fixing but...

"I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"

I don't know sometimes I just wish I could take the "easy" way out and go HOME. I really miss my Grannie and my close friend Jody. I would give anything to see them again and to get to see God face to face. I know He has me here for a purpose I just wish that He would make it so clear and evident to me that I couldn't possibly miss it.

"You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay"

This is so TRUE!!!

I heard this song by Casting Crowns today and it just really made me think.

If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves

I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from satan’s hand

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I’d give my last breath for Your glory

GOD IS GOOD!!

Well it has been some time since I last posted so I figure I better update everyone. The past week has been absolutely crazy. I was at work at 7am every morning and didn't leave until 6 or 6:30 pm. Then on Monday I had Aphla, Tuesday night I babysat, then Wednesday night was Bible study, Thursday night I actually got to go home, then Friday night I went to a friends house for a traditional Irish dinner. It was pretty good. I had never tried corned beef because the sound of it just make me sick but it is actually very good. So anyway, Saturday morning I was up at 9am to meet some friends for breakfast and then to work at the cafe at 5pm until 10:45 pm. Then Sunday was church and work from 3:45pm - 10:45pm. And now the new week coming up I have to be at work by 7am again. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I am so ready for a break. But my dad is coming to see me this weekend so I will be taking Friday off.

I also just cut my hair so it is no longer very long at all. I actually really like the new length. It is like I had it when I lived in Pittsburgh for those of you who know me and can remember. I am really happy with it and don't think that I will ever go back to long hair again. So anyway...I love working at the cafe. It is such a great atmosphere and the people I work with are really great. I met this one girl that we just hit right off and I think I have finally found some friends finally in DC and it really makes me happy. I knew that God could do it I just was struggling with how long it was taking Him to work His ways. I know that I have to do my part too so I also stepped up and started going out of my way to meet people. For those of you who know me that is a big deal for me. I am not a complete introvert but it does take a bit of an effort for me to stop out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to a whole new group of people. But anyways, God has truly blessed me and I have finally begun to have plans that take up any free time I might possibly have to hang out with good Christian friends. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!!!

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Annoyed, Angry and Upset

yesterday was just not my day. I woke up with a sinus headache, I had to take my best friend back to the airport to send her back to Iowa when I wanted her to stay, and then on the way back to work from there I somehow lost my cell phone. That is the second time in under a year that I have had it either taken from me or lost. I am so aggravated with myself. How could I have been so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

And today isn't that much better, sorry to complain all but I got to get it off my chest. Do you ever have one of those days that the slightest little thing just irks you and you want to lash out? Well that is how I have been feeling for the past three days and it really makes me angry at myself. I don't like feeling this way and I don't even know what is causing it. It is hard to keep that fake happy face so that the whole world around you doesn't know you are have a crummy day.

I am ready to get out of work today and just go home, curl up in my bed with a cup of tea and then just go to sleep. I hope and pray that tomorrow is better. Please pray for me that it is!!! Thank YOU!!!!!!!!

Grammar Lovers Enjoy!!!!

You Think English is Easy?

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run! and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for elecltion and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........... Time to shut UP!

Oh...one more thing:


What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

24 HOURS AND 8 MINUTES

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I leave work early today to go buy some new sneakers, then I head home to clean the house before my best friend gets here and then rest and just wait for tomorrow morning!!!!!

She's coming!!!

4 days and counting until my Beth comes to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so another post about this mysterious Sosthenes.

Sosthenes mentioned only two times in the Bible, in Acts 18 and in 1 Corinthians 1:1. Both times by Paul and in context of Corinth. The first time as being beaten by the Jews and the second as being a brother.

Okay so the pastor postured that they are the same person and that Sosthenes was beaten because the Jews didn’t get what they wanted in Acts 18 and by 1 Corithians he had made a complete turn around and was a brother in Christ.

Okay so I agree with the fact that they are the same person but my question is…Gallio told the Jews that he wouldn’t judge the problem (Paul) because they were their laws and not his. Now Sosthenes was the synagogue leader who took the problem before Gallio. Now wouldn’t Sosthenes be next in the chain of command for the decision on what to do with Paul? And if so they why would the Jews beat him? Wouldn’t they want to treat him special so that he would rule in their favor? And wouldn’t being beaten suggest that the Jews realized that Sosthenes wouldn’t judge the way they wanted due to the fact that he was a follower and believer? Just my posturing and questions.

Any help or answers or anything would be much appreciated in this. Thanks!!!

THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN...

Well it is finally official. We have a date and so let the countdown begin. My Grandmum and I are headed to Scotland September 8th for a 15 day tour of the highlands and the islands with a two day stop to visit family in Glasgow. I am so excited. And the count is 198 days from today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO PHSYCHED, MY DREAM IS FINALLY COMING TRUE!!! I have been dreaming about this since I was five years old. So a couple of prayer requests to go with this dream...

Pray for my Grandmum's continued health.
Pray for my continued health as I pick up more hours at work and another part-time job and babysitting jobs to save enough money.
Also pray that my passport will come with no problems.

My Best Friend

MY BEST FRIEND IS COMING TO VISIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see her and spend some time together. She has never been to DC before and I am phsyched!!! Anyway she is one of the most beautiful people I know. It will be nice to get to spend some time with her in my "world". :-)

Smell the Color Nine

A song about blind faith!

I would take no for an answer,
Just to know I heard you speak,
And I'm wondering why I've never,
Seen the signs they claim they see,
A lotta special revelations,
Meant for everybody but me,
Maybe I don't truly know You,
or maybe I just simply believe...

Cause I can sniff, I can see, and I can
count up pretty high; but these faculties
aren't getting me any closer to the sky,
but my heart of faith keeps poundin' so
I know I'm doin' fine but sometimes findin
you is just like tryin to smell the color nine.
Smell the color nine...

Now I've never felt the presence,
But I know You're always near,
And I've never heard the calling,
But somehow You've led me right here,
So I'm not lookin' for burnin' bushes,
Or some Divine graffiti to appear,
I'm just beggin You for Your wisdom,
And I believe You're puttin' some here...

Cause I can sniff, I can see, and I can
count up pretty high; but these faculties
aren't getting me any closer to the sky,
but my heart of faith keeps poundin' so
I know I'm doin' fine but sometimes findin
you is just like tryin to smell the color nine.
Smell the color nine...

Nine's not a color...
and if even if it was you can't smell a color, no
that's my point exactly.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: JoyAnna Suzette Neiner
Birthday: June 26, 1980
Birthplace: Sellersville, PA
Current Location: Washington, DC
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'9”
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: German, Scottish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Brown sneaks
Your Weakness: peanut M&M’s
Your Fears: heights, spiders
Your Perfect Pizza: wheat crust, pepperoni, extra cheese, mushrooms, and black olives
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get a car, go to Scotland
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: ha ha
Thoughts First Waking Up: how much longer can I sleep in and not be late for work “ditto”
Your Best Physical Feature: my eyes “ditto”
Your Bedtime: between 11 and 12
Your Most Missed Memory: uh……what memory J
Pepsi or Coke: don’t drink soda
MacDonalds or Burger King: don’t eat fast food
Single or Group Dates: both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: don’t drink iced tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: no
Do you Sing: yes
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: yeah
Do you want to go to College: been there and now in grad school
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you belive in yourself: try to
Do you get Motion Sickness: if I am not riding in the front seat yes
Do you think you are Attractive: uh do I have to answer that one
Are you a Health Freak: sort of
Do you get along with your Parents: most times
Do you like Thunderstorms: Love Them!!!! “DITTO”
Do you play an Instrument: used to play piano and baritone
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: 1
Ever been called a Tease: no
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: No
How do you want to Die: well I would prefer to have Christ come back but if not that way then quickly and peacefully
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: work for NASA, travel, be a mom
What country would you most like to Visit: SCOTLAND!!!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: don’t have one
Favourite Hair Color: probably brown
Short or Long Hair: short
Height: over 6'0
Weight: average
Best Clothing Style: stylish yet can be comfortable in casual
Number of Drugs I have taken: none
Number of CDs I own: tons
Number of Piercings: 2 in each ear
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: just a few, like getting drunk, no fun will never drink again

Sosthenes

So we officially started digging into 1 Corinthians last night. We started off with who wrote it, whom for, when and why. So this name Sosthenes is mentioned in the first verse as a brother but do we really know who he is? Some, at church, said that he could have been a secretary or messenger but for the most part we didn't really know. The other place he is mentioned is in Acts 18:17 as being leader of the synagogue who is beaten by the Jews (I think).

I kind of want to go with the secretary aspect and/or messenger because we do know that as Paul got older his eyesight started to fail him. I want to believe he probably wrote down everything that Paul dictated to him and then delivered it to the church in Corinth. Paul only makes a point of mentioning that he is writing by his own hand the greeting at the end. I will have to do more research on this fella.

So anyway it was really neat to look back over the whole book that we read through last week and notice Paul's humility. Can you imagine God using you to be a divine source of knowledge for us now by way of the Bible and for them then by way of a letter. It's amazing!! I am really enjoying this study because it isn't like your normal Sunday service where you just sit and get we actually get to discuss and share. You get to hear everyone's opinions whether they be like-minded or differing. It is refreshing to get a chance to study the Bible indepth verse by verse with a whole group of people who want to learn just as much as the next person.

My Sob Story

Okay so yeah, it was V-day yesterday. I really can't stand that "holiday." So anyway I decided to treat myself to an evening starbucks coffee. Then I made myself my favorite sandwiches, grilled cheese with tomato. Then I headed upstairs to work on some homework and watch a little of the Olympics. Well...I got up stairs and my cat knocked my coffee over right into my sandwiches. So to say none the least I didn't want to eat caramel latte flavored grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches. So I was pretty upset with her and decided to order pizza instead. Well when I called all the pizza places they were so busy I couldn't order any. So I didn't really eat anything after all. Oh well, maybe next year will be better!!

Jesus! What a Friend for sinners!

Okay one more...this song is very true and I needed to be reminded of this today.

Jesus! what a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!
Hallelujah! what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Jesus! what a Strength in weakness!
Let me hide myself in Him.
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my Strength, my victory wins.

Jesus! what a Help in sorrow!
While the billows over me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my Comfort, helps my soul.

Jesus! what a Guide and Keeper!
While the tempest still is high,
Storms about me, night overtakes me,
He, my Pilot, hears my cry.

Jesus! I do now adore Him,
More than all in Him I find.
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am His, and He is mine.

"The Hand Song"

I absolutely love this song!!!

The boy only wanted to give Mother something
And all of her roses had bloomed
Looking at him as he came rushing in with them
Knowing her roses were doomed
All she could see were some thorns buried deep
And the tears that he cried as she tended his wounds

And she knew it was love
It was one she could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

He still remembers that night as child
On his mother's knee
She held him close and she opened her bible
And quietly started to read
And seeing a picture of Jesus he cried out
"Momma, he's got some scars just like me."

And he knew it was love
It was one he could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

Now the boy's grown and moved out on his own
When Uncle Sam comes along
A foreign affair, but our young men were there
And luck had his number drawn
It wasn't that long till our hero was gone
He gave to a friend what he learned from the cross

But they knew it was love
It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

Before the Throne of God Above

This is one of my all time favorite hymns. I know that I only seem to be posting lyrics lately but these songs really have had an impact on me and I just wanted to share them with everyone.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision,
O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me,
save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought,
by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping,
Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom,
and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and
Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father,
I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling,
and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield,
Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity,
Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter,
Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward,
O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not,
nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance,
now and always:
Thou and Thou only,
first in my heart,
High King of Heaven,
my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven,
my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys,
O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart,
whatever befall,
Still be my Vision,
O Ruler of all

SNOW!!!

So we got our first and hopefully only big snow storm in DC over the weekend. We got a total of 8 inches. It was crazy. Here is a picture of the aftermath that I took on my way into church the next morning. It is pretty but I really don't like snow.

I wish...

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goodbye.

For Granny and Jodi Packard, I MISS YOU BOTH!!!!

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

1 Corinthians

So we finally started our study of 1 Corinthians last night. I am so psyched! We read through the entire book and then next week we will start the verse by verse study. I am so looking forward to it. I didn't bring my notes with me to work but below are just some of the verses that I am looking forward to studying and getting a better understanding of. There are some others. Like the book covers divorce, lawsuits and women in the church. It will be good and I am very excited.

10:13No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
13:8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.

February

Okay so I know noone wants to hear this or read this, but I really hate this time of year. You know you try so hard to be content and happy with where you are in your life and then February comes around with that horrid holiday “valentine’s day”. There’s nothing like watching everything around you push the whole couple thing and knowing that you aren’t one.

I think the hardest thing for me is knowing how bad I want to wait on God’s timing but also want so badly to have someone to share my life with now. The other hard thing is being the oldest child in my family and watching my younger siblings be in healthy relationships. My sister is almost engaged and my brother is seriously dating this great girl. It’s really rough and sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I know that God has the perfect mate out there waiting for me but it just gets so hard to wait for him to come along.

The other thing is the process of finding him too. I am currently on eharmony and have about 6 different guys who want to communicate with me. It makes me so nervous because I just…well I don’t know. It just takes a lot of faith and sometimes I feel like I am losing that faith. I know that eharmony works because I have a couple of friends who have tried it and are either in a healthy relationship or are now married.

I guess I just worry that I will end up an old maid cause I have this ideal guy in my mind yet I just can’t seem to find him. I don’t want to lower any of my standards cause then I would be settling and I know that God doesn’t want me to do that. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!!!!!!!!!?????????

If you are reading this please pray for all of us single folk who desperately want to do what God wants us to do.

2006 edition of getting to know your

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:30 am
2. Diamonds or pearls? pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the theater? Family Stone
4. What is your favorite TV show? CSI’s, NCIS, Lost, Smallville, Numbers
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Shredded wheat
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Italian and Mexican
7. Least favorite cuisine? chinese
8 . What is your favorite chip flavor? Sour cream and onion, sour cream and cheddar
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? All the Mercy Me’s and Kelly Clarkson "Breakaway”
10. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Public transportation, don’t have a car
11. Favorite sandwich? Egg salad with lettuce and tomato on wheat
12. What characteristics do you despise? self righteousness
13. Favorite item of clothing? My red turtle-neck sweater
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go? Europe
15. What color is your bathroom? white
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Gap, Ann Taylor
17. Favorite time of the day? afternoon
18. What was your most memorable birthday? 21st my best friend took me to NYC to see Peter Gallagher in a broadway show. Thank you SARAH!!!! I will never forget!!!
19. Where were you born? Sellersville, PA
20. Favorite sport to watch? NFL Football GO PATRIOTS!!!!
21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? ??
22. Person you expect to send it back first? ??
23. What fabric detergent do you use? ERA
24. Were you named after anyone? My Aunt, Grandmother, and Great Grandmother
25. Do you wish on stars? rarely
26. When did you last cry? a week or so ago-sounds about right J
27. Do you like your handwriting? sometimes
28. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? probably
29. Are you a daredevil? Sometimes…I went skydiving and I am afraid of heights and it was my first time in an airplane. J
30. Do looks matter? A bit, I have to be attracted to someone.
31. How do you release anger? Um never really thought about it probably journaling
32. What were your favorite toys as a child? Legos and trees
33. What class in High School was totally useless? study hall-totally agree
34. Do you use sarcasm a lot? sometimes
35. Favorite movies? Pride and Prejudice(Colin Firth), The Hunt for Red October, The Bourne Identity, Kate and Leopold and many others.
36. What are your nicknames? JJ, Neiner, Neenermyer
37. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yes
38. Do you think that you are strong? Not so much
39. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint choco chip
40. What are your favorite colors? Red, yellow, green, orange, pink
41. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? selfishness
42. Who do you miss the most? My best friends and the good times I had with my friends in college.
43. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? I guess
44. What color pants are you wearing? black
45. What are you listening to right now? iTunes a shuffle of all my CD’s
46. What did you last eat? my breakfast
47. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Red
48. Last person you talked to on the phone? A co-worker
49. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their eyes
50. Favorite Drink? Skim caramel latte
51. Do you wear contacts? yes
52. Favorite Day's of the Year? Fourth of July, and my birthday as long as I don’t have to admit I am getting older J
53. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? happy endings
54. Summer or winter? summer)
55. Hugs or Kisses? hugs
56. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Cherry pie
57. What Book(s) Are You Reading? Bible, First Man: The Life of Neil A. Armstrong, Be Complete
58. What's On Your Mouse Pad? SRA International, Inc Honesty and Service
59. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? NCIS and Criminal Minds
60. Favorite Smells? New car, fresh rain, cut grass, coffee beans, leather, new rubber (what can I say I am weird J), freshly bathed Baby ( I love you Garrett)
61. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
62. What's the furthest you've been from home? Bermuda with Scotland on the horizon 63. Wasn't this fun? It killed a little time

True or False

I am a cuddler. - true
I am a morning person. - false
I am an only child. - false-oldest
I am Catholic. - false
I am currently in my pajamas. - false
I am currently pregnant. - false
I am currently single. - true
I am currently suffering from a broken heart. - semi-true
I am okay at styling other people's hair - false
I am left handed. - false
I am married. - false
I am addicted to my myspace. - false
I am online 24/7, even as an away message. -true, except for when I am commuting home from work
I am very shy around the opposite gender at first – semi-true
I bite my nails. - false
I can be paranoid at times. - false
I currently regret something that I have done - true
When I get mad I curse frequently. - false
I don't like anyone. - false
I enjoy country music. - true...love it!!!!
I enjoy jazz music. - true
I enjoy smoothies. - true
I enjoy talking on the phone - false
I have a car. - false
I have a cell phone - true
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school - true and false
I have a lot to learn - true
I have a pet. - true
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal - false
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" guy/girl - typically true
I fall in "like" easily - false
I have all my grandparents - false
I have at least one brother - true
I have been to another country - true
I have been told that I am smart - true
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor - false
I have OR HAD broken a bone - true
I have Caller I.D. on my phone. - true
I have bathed someone - true...a baby
I have changed a diaper - true
I have changed a lot over the past year. - true
I have done something illegal. - false
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color - false
I have had major/minor surgery. - true
I have killed another person - false
I have had my hair cut within the last week. - false
.I have had the cops called on me - false
I have mood swings - false...
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life - false
I have rejected someone before. - true
I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy. -true
I have seen the television show The O.C. - false
I have watched Sex and the City- true
I like Shakespeare. -true
I like the taste of blood. - false
I love to cook. - true
I like to sing. - true
I love Michael Jackson - false
I love sleeping. - true
I love to play computer games. – true
I love to shop. - false
I miss someone right now. - true
I own 100 CDs or more - true
I own and use a library card - false
I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream - false
I read books for pleasure in my spare time. - true
I sleep a lot during the day. - false
I strongly dislike math - true
I was born in a country other than the US. - false
I will try almost anything once. - true
I work at a job that I enjoy. true
I would classify myself as ghetto. - false
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. – false
I am currently wearing socks. - false
I am tired. - true

PARTY HEARTY!!!!

Well I have never thought of church or Heaven in this sense but my Pastor preached a sermon today from Luke 14:15-24. It was very eye opening. He was talking about how the man in the parable throws this great feast which in today's terms would be a party. Everyone who was anyone was invited. When it came time for the party to start the man sent out his servants to reinvite the guests, each one declined claiming nonsense excuses. The man was angered and sent his servants back out to instead invite anyone and everyone they saw. Heaven and the Church is this big party...everyone is invited all you have to do is accept the invitation. Everyone who accepts the invitation is headed for the greatest party to ever be held.

100,000 people all over the world every day come to have a personal faith and relationship with Christ.

Heaven has nothing to say to the world until it throws better parties :-).

soooo....

So I was a little disappointed the other night. I went to my old church cause they have a really great Wednesday night Bible study. I really was looking forward to it because of everything that has been happening in my life. I attend a really great church on Sunday's that I absolutely love but they don't have any Wednesday service. So anyway I got there and was able to catch up with one of my old roommates and another girl that I used to know. It was really nice, however the service/study ended up being "canceled" because the Pastor's wife was in the ER. I don't begrudge them that but instead of getting one of the Associate Pastors to look through a different passage they had one of the deacon's read a sermon from someone else. I was disappointed because I was really looking forward to the indepth Bible study. We were supposed to be starting a study in the book of 1 Corinthians. Oh well there's always next week.

Why??

3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him, "Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married."
4 Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, "Lord, will You slay a nation, even though blameless?
5 "Did he not himself say to me, 'She is my sister'? And she herself said, 'He is my brother ' In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this."
6 Then God said to him in the dream, "Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this, and I also kept you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her.
7 "Now therefore, restore the man's wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours."

Okay I so do not understand this. Abraham is the one who brought this upon Abimelech by lying to him. God protected Abimelech by not allowing him to touch or go near Sarah yet Abimelech had to gain cleansing from Abraham?!?! This doesn't make sense, shouldn't God have just offered him that cleansing since he didn't do anything. Talk about Abimelech having amazing humility to accept "forgiveness" and cleansing from the person who caused his situation in the first place. I have a lot of respect for Abimelech here.

Respect

17 The LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do,
18 since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed?
19 "For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him."
20 And the LORD said, "The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave.
21 "I will go down now, and see if they have done entirely according to its outcry, which has come to Me; and if not, I will know."

Wow I wonder what it must be like to have this kind of consideration and respect from the Lord Most High. To actually have Him wonder if He should hide is plans from me. I find this so amazing. That says a lot for Abraham too...WOW!!!

My Best Friend

My best friend just painted me the most beautiful painting in the world. She is a phenomenal artist to the point that at first glance I thought the painting was a photo.

My best friend has got to be the most wonderful person I know. She knows how much I love Scotland!! I can't wait to hang this in my living room for all the world to see, well what little world I know that comes through my door. I love you girl!!! Thank you so much!!!

To know our future

13 God said to Abram, "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, where they will be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years.
14 "But I will also judge the nation whom they will serve, and afterward they will come out with many possessions.
15 "As for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you will be buried at a good old age.
16 "Then in the fourth generation they will return here, for the iniquity of the Amorite is not yet complete."

Okay so Abraham (Abram) was informed of his future. God told him that he would die at a good old age and in peace. I sometimes wish I knew if I would live to a good old age and if I would die in peace. At the same time just the thought of knowing freaks me out at the same time. I can't imagine the weight of responsibility you take on when you know certain things.

Okay more on this later, I have to get back to work.

A Rainbow in the sky

12God said, "This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations;
13I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.
14"It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud,
15and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh.
16"When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth."

Do you ever stop to think that every time we see a rainbow in the sky that God is looking at it too and remembering? I was just reading in Genesis after Noah and his family has left the ark and Noah has made a sacrifice in thanksgiving, God is giving a convenant to Noah and his family that he will never destroy the world by water again and He provides him with a "bow in the cloud" as a sign. I was struck by what God then says in verse 16 as highlighted above. He will look upon the bow to remember the EVERLASTING covenant. Isn't that amazing. To think that every time I look at a rainbow that shows up in the sky, God is also looking at it too. I don't know somehow it makes looking into the sky so much more real because the very realness of Him looking back down. WOW!!!!! so amazing. What an Awesome God we serve!!!!

update on the knee

Okay so the MRI showed absolutely nothing. The doctor says that my ankles roll inward, which causes undo stress to my knee, causing my knee cap to sit wrong. So he wanted to give me a shot of cortizone right then and there. I almost cried, I told him no that I would deal with the pain and start physical therapy right away. I was already sick and knew that if I got a shot I would be an absolute mess. So I start PT on Monday and I have to wear arch supports with any shoes that I wear.

Oh yeah and somewhere between Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning I got really sick. I haven't been to work all week. When I went in for my orthopedic appointment I almost passed out twice on the metro. I have been swigging Gatorade and water and chowing down on saltines for 4 days now. Today is the first day that I have started to feel better. I don't know what it was but I sure am glad that its done and gone.

I've been tagged!

Four jobs that I've had:
Talent Development Coordinator
Hostess
Barista
Sales Associate

Four movies i would put on repeat...
Bourne Identity
Kate and Leopold
Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth)
The Hunt for Red October

Four Vacation spots:
Scotland
Boston w/Beth
Ontario, Canada Pilgrimage
New York City

Four foods I would eat anytime:
Quesadillas
Steak and Potatoes
Chicken and Spinach
Apples with Peanut Butter

Four changes I would make to my house...(Mine’s an apartment)
Paint
A backyard
A porch
More and matching furniture

Four beers I like...
I can’t stand beer, even the smell of it grosses me out. Yuck.
I’ll list four drinks in place:
Caramel Lattes
Water for real
Mint tea (not processed or ground up)
Vanilla Coke

Four TV shows:
CSI's (NY, Miami & Las Vegas)
JAG
Smallville
LOST

Four tags...(I don't really know anyone else who has a blog)
1. Janis
2. Tiffy
3. Pete
4. Kelly

STUPID KNEE

Well I feel so stupid...I was walking home from the Metro tonight and I tripped. And I didn't trip so that I landed on my good leg, I actually tripped and then got my good leg tangled in the bad leg so that when i finally stopped moving it was after firmly planting all my falling body weight on my bad knee. The pain was so excruciating that I almost passed out. Praise God for Darvocet!!!!!!!!!!! I am now with in 10 mins of passing out from the drugs and waking up pain free!!!!!!!!!! GOOD NIGHT WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

The Knee

So I went to the Orthopedic surgeon today. It was definitely a better experience than my last one with the doctor who screwed up my left shoulder. He was older so definitely had more experience and had a very personable personality. So anyway…

He thinks I may have a torn miniscus. I will have an MRI performed on Monday at 9:30 AM, please pray. Then I will meet with him again next Thursday to discuss the results and the options. Here are some of the options that we know of right now. If it is a torn miniscus, due to the fact that no blood flows to there it won’t heal on its own. This means that I will have to undergo surgery to repair the tear. It isn’t a major surgery, in fact it is an in and outer. I have also been told by someone who has had the surgery that you are up and walking on it in two days time. This would be absolutely lovely.

The other option is one that I am not so excited about and would actually ask that you pray towards the way of surgery and quick recovery. The other is to give me a shot of cortizone directly in the knee and then proceed with months of therapy. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you know me at all, you know how much I absolutely despise and loathe shots. I have had a cortizone shot before directly into my shoulder joint and it was the most awful and sickening experience I have ever been through. So those are my choices.

On the other hand my doctor informed me to be prepared for a lifestyle change when I show up next Thursday. Basically he informed me that my ankles roll inward due to a lack of arches and this may have helped cause the undue pressure and excess rotation in the knee that created the situation that I am in now. So basically he is planning to put me on an exercise regime that will correct this and make me more healthy. He told me to find a gym to join. Here we go again.

In some ways this is a good thing. I have made it a goal to achieve my pre-college weight this year. That means I have 40 pounds to lose. I have cut back on my sugar intake and improved my eating habits but I had not changed my exercise regime yet. This will help with that aspect of losing the weight. I am really excited about that.

Oh he also put me on celebrex, which I thought was absolutely hilarious. All the commercials I have ever seen concerning this drug contained old people. Due to that, I have always assumed it was a drug for old people to be able to handle their arthritis pain. So yeah………I’m old!!! :-) Well anyway that’s my life right now.

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Can I just say that freedom has never felt so good! Let's see how do I explain this....well for about 15 years of my most "pathetic" existence I have liked one guy and one guy only. I seriously believed that we would get together against all odds. Well based on some very cold interaction that we had over Christmas I now realize that we will never happen and that the good friendship we once shared will never be rekindled. It is a very freeing state of mind. I have let go of all that I had "based my entire thoughts of the future on" and am now able to look with fresh eyes towards tomorrow.

At the same time that it is freeing it is also very scary. I have actively begun searching for someone to share my life with in the future and boy am I freaked. I am kind of an old fashioned girl who believes that the guy should be the one doing the chasing. However, the way the world is today it seems the girls are the ones nowadays putting their hearts on the line and stepping out in faith and "fear".

Well I have done just that. I have a profile on eHarmony, Christiancafe, and a couple of other places. It is kind of scary what with all the identity theft going on out there in the computer world as well as the fact that you don't actually get that one on one interaction to see how "they" really react. It is exciting at the same time though, because I am so ready to be looking for someone to share my life with. Someone to partner with and be their helpmate as God first intended the woman to be. I can't wait for that day when God will bless me with my soul mate.

I send a prayer up to heaven for the one who is meant for me. God bless you and give you a good and God filled day until we meet.

Figure Skating

I don't know if any of you out there remember Sergei Grinkova and Ekaterina Gordeeva, but I do. I remember when the world found out that her husband had died of a heart attack while they were practicing on the ice. It was one of the saddest days of my life. Well I just got to watch her skate again for the first time since almost 10 years ago. I know I am such a sap but I cried like a baby. It was so good to see her skate and she looked just as beautiful and young as she had back then. Then later in the program she skated with her and Sergei's daughter, Daria. That made me cry just as hard. Oh well what can I say!!!

I have always loved the name Ekaterina and think I will name my little girl that. (When I have one someday)