Sunday, April 30, 2006
Tennis
Okay so I know that I love watching tennis, especially when it is Andy Roddick playing or Roger Fedderer, however I had never actually picked up a racket in my life. That is until yesterday. There is this Alpha group that I am involved with and we had this really great day away yesterday. We got together at a place other than where we normally meet and talked about the Holy Spirit and enjoyed getting to know each other. So anyway they had tennis courts and there were a couple of extra rackets and balls, so this girl Melissa that I met and I decided to give it a shot. Well I must say I have never felt so inept and out of my league as I did. But I also discovered that I really love tennis not only watching it but trying my hand at playing. I am by no means any good but it is just plain fun. I will however have to make a mental note to wrap my ankles before playing cause all the running around the court you do I rolled them a couple of times. I keep forgetting that I have weak ankles cause I haven't played a sport in so long that required so much stopping and turning on a dime. Oh well, I just need to remember that but I am definitely going to keep playing and learning to play better. I hope to post a couple pics later. It was funny cause I "felt" so professional, I was wearing a skort and when I tucked the balls in the pockets I felt like Maria Sharpanova and Venus Williams. Like that would ever be a reality :-). Any way that was my foray into the tennis world and now I love to play and watch.
Friday, April 28, 2006
stringin me along
I sometimes wonder if God likes to play pranks on His children and string them along. (the rambling thoughts of a desperate woman)
As you all know I am desperately trying to get out of the bad living situation that I am in. I would ultimately prefer to live on my own but if that doesn't work then I would want to live with only one person. I can't handle living with a couple of girls again, what with the hormones, mood swings and many different senses of interior design. I also won't do the guy roommate thing ever again because they are slobs!!!!!!! Sorry to all you unique gentlemen out there who actually clean. (I LUV U BRO!!!)
So anyway...I thought I had kinda found a place with a friend from the Church I attend. However there are some strings that God keeps droppin in the way and I kinda feel like HE likes doing it. So I have a cat because, well you know us single women, (well at least me), I needed some sort of companionship to come home too. So yeah, this place is a great two bedroom apartment near where I work in the evenings and to the red line metro which would put me right at work. It is with a great person who has actually been living alone for some time and isn't sure about the whole roommate thing either and it is decently priced and in an okay neighborhood.
Here's the string though, we aren't "allowed" to have pets. However there are many cats and dogs in the building because the rule is not enforced and as long as the landlord doesn't see anything when you finally leave then they don't say anything.
Well the thing is, do I do the "right" thing and obey the landlord and keep searching or do I do what everyone else has done and just move in anyway and keep Fia clean? I mean she is a clean cat as it is, she knows where her litter box is and hasn't made any messes since I have had her. She is a generally quiet and relaxed cat and when she gets fixed in May she'll be even better.
Why can't God just let me find a place, I mean I am trying to do the right thing in getting my life back on track for Him but... I mean I know He wants us to trust Him and maybe He is testing me, I just wish He wouldn't test me in this area because I am in a terrible situation that I really must get out of.
I just can't win can I!! What would you have me do Lord? I mean I know I just begged you to give me the peace of mind and heart that so many of my friends have found, but is this really the way to do it? Please help me out here... I need out really bad, I can't handle this situation anymore!!!
As you all know I am desperately trying to get out of the bad living situation that I am in. I would ultimately prefer to live on my own but if that doesn't work then I would want to live with only one person. I can't handle living with a couple of girls again, what with the hormones, mood swings and many different senses of interior design. I also won't do the guy roommate thing ever again because they are slobs!!!!!!! Sorry to all you unique gentlemen out there who actually clean. (I LUV U BRO!!!)
So anyway...I thought I had kinda found a place with a friend from the Church I attend. However there are some strings that God keeps droppin in the way and I kinda feel like HE likes doing it. So I have a cat because, well you know us single women, (well at least me), I needed some sort of companionship to come home too. So yeah, this place is a great two bedroom apartment near where I work in the evenings and to the red line metro which would put me right at work. It is with a great person who has actually been living alone for some time and isn't sure about the whole roommate thing either and it is decently priced and in an okay neighborhood.
Here's the string though, we aren't "allowed" to have pets. However there are many cats and dogs in the building because the rule is not enforced and as long as the landlord doesn't see anything when you finally leave then they don't say anything.
Well the thing is, do I do the "right" thing and obey the landlord and keep searching or do I do what everyone else has done and just move in anyway and keep Fia clean? I mean she is a clean cat as it is, she knows where her litter box is and hasn't made any messes since I have had her. She is a generally quiet and relaxed cat and when she gets fixed in May she'll be even better.
Why can't God just let me find a place, I mean I am trying to do the right thing in getting my life back on track for Him but... I mean I know He wants us to trust Him and maybe He is testing me, I just wish He wouldn't test me in this area because I am in a terrible situation that I really must get out of.
I just can't win can I!! What would you have me do Lord? I mean I know I just begged you to give me the peace of mind and heart that so many of my friends have found, but is this really the way to do it? Please help me out here... I need out really bad, I can't handle this situation anymore!!!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
If you have five minutes...
Current mood: stressed
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4:
…uations that everyone accepts as facts, and (2) personal data.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. whats there?
My manager
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Locals on the eights on the weather channel
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
3:00 pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:33pm
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My head boss talking to her daughter and co-workers typing and Mercy Me
7. When did you last step outside?
1:45pm
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
a friend's myspace
9. What are you wearing?
Black pants, black tank, red silk tank, and black button down sweater
10. Did you dream last night?
No
11. When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Monthly Calendar, painting of Scotland done for me by a friend, 60 day wall calendar and lots of little post-its of things to do and people to call.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not that I can think of at the moment
14. What do you think of this quiz?
A nice quick break from the monotany of work
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off college loans and purchase a 1938 Cheverlot Coupe, my dad an Aston Marin, my Mum a mini coupe and a home in Scotland
17. Tell something about you that most people don't know:
I dream big but never believe that I can achieve them.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
All war
19. Do you like to dance?
Sure, but I’m not great by any standards
20. George Bush:
Not sure what to think of him right now
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Don’t know
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Nathaniel Burton
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Definitely, planning to next year
24. Person you want to see the most right now?
Beth, Sarah and Shriggles
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4:
…uations that everyone accepts as facts, and (2) personal data.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. whats there?
My manager
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Locals on the eights on the weather channel
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
3:00 pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:33pm
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My head boss talking to her daughter and co-workers typing and Mercy Me
7. When did you last step outside?
1:45pm
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
a friend's myspace
9. What are you wearing?
Black pants, black tank, red silk tank, and black button down sweater
10. Did you dream last night?
No
11. When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Monthly Calendar, painting of Scotland done for me by a friend, 60 day wall calendar and lots of little post-its of things to do and people to call.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not that I can think of at the moment
14. What do you think of this quiz?
A nice quick break from the monotany of work
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off college loans and purchase a 1938 Cheverlot Coupe, my dad an Aston Marin, my Mum a mini coupe and a home in Scotland
17. Tell something about you that most people don't know:
I dream big but never believe that I can achieve them.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
All war
19. Do you like to dance?
Sure, but I’m not great by any standards
20. George Bush:
Not sure what to think of him right now
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Don’t know
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Nathaniel Burton
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Definitely, planning to next year
24. Person you want to see the most right now?
Beth, Sarah and Shriggles
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
surveys
1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight?
a bruised knee but my brother broke his hand :-)
2. Most money you ever owed a utility company?
Always pay my bills on time
3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
never
4. Longest time you slept in a car?
can’t sleep in a moving vehicle
5. Most terrible nickname you've ever been given?
Well get creative with my last name because I won’t repeat what they were on here. It’s Neiner as in 9er
6. Worst job you ever had?
working as a waitress at a little hole in the wall called Dino and Francesco’s in Clarks Summit, PA
7. Shortest job you've ever had?
data entry temp job for a medical insurance company
8. Longest romantic relationship?
relationship? What relationship?
9. Shortest romantic relationship?
see above
10. Food that you would eat till you puked?
um….
11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
sauerkraut
12. What music saved your life?
Mercy Me and Casting Crowns
13. Person you miss the most in the world?
my best friends and my Grannie (mum's mom) and Grandpop (dad's dad)
14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
Night of the living dead (have never watched another horror movie in my life.
15. Best movie you've ever seen?
Pride and Prejudice by A&E and BBC
16. Craziest thing you've ever done sober?
hmm, gone skydiving when I was afraid of heights and had never been in a plane before
17. Ever almost die?
nope
18. Ever fist-fight a member of the opposite sex?
nope
19. Best place you have ever lived?
Washington, DC
20. Worst place you have ever lived?
Pittsburg, but not because of the people
21. Bad habit you have had for the longest time?
I always have to say something
22. Noise that makes you want to punch people?
people that smack their gum and scuff their feet
23. Your favorite tattoo?
have none, can’t stand them
24. Least favorite tattoo?
see above
25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or Mac and cheeze?
dry ramen
26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
I don't know, but it probably wasn't much.
27. Best gift you ever got?
Tough to say...
28. Best pet you ever had?
fia and dyani
29. Ever run from the cops?
no
30. Money or health?
um…health
31. Recognition, Raise or Promotion?
RAISE
First thoughts.
Write your first reaction or thoughts
1. I need: money
2. Sex: um yeah
3. Relationships: want one
4. Your Last Ex: um don’t have one
5. Power: control
6. Marijuana: pointless
7. Crack: jump them in the side walk
8. Food: CHEERIOS!!!!
9. This President: would love to meet him
10. War: hate it
11. Cars: 1938 Cheverlot Coupe
12. Gas Prices: over the top
13. Halloween: whatever…
14. Bon Jovi: hotter as the years go by
15. Religion: its about a relationship not a religion
16. MySpace: connection to friends from college
17. Worst Fear: never being what God wants me to be
18. Marriage: someday
19. Fashion: aaa leave it to hollywood
20. Brunette: hotter than blondes J
21. Redhead: nicole kidman
22. RESPECT: definitely
23. Pass the time: reading, sudoku, beading and listening to my iPod
24. Football: GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sept. is coming
25. One night Stands: as if, not likely to happen
26. Pet Peeve: blinkers left on after they turned
27. Pixie Stix: childish candy
28. Vanilla Ice: ice ice baby J
29. PORTA POTTIES: construction zones
30. High school: hated it
31. Pajamas: boxers and tank top
32. Wood: fresh cut smells so good
33. Surfers: blonde
34. Pictures: wish I took more
35. First Love: Samuel Dagger
a bruised knee but my brother broke his hand :-)
2. Most money you ever owed a utility company?
Always pay my bills on time
3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
never
4. Longest time you slept in a car?
can’t sleep in a moving vehicle
5. Most terrible nickname you've ever been given?
Well get creative with my last name because I won’t repeat what they were on here. It’s Neiner as in 9er
6. Worst job you ever had?
working as a waitress at a little hole in the wall called Dino and Francesco’s in Clarks Summit, PA
7. Shortest job you've ever had?
data entry temp job for a medical insurance company
8. Longest romantic relationship?
relationship? What relationship?
9. Shortest romantic relationship?
see above
10. Food that you would eat till you puked?
um….
11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
sauerkraut
12. What music saved your life?
Mercy Me and Casting Crowns
13. Person you miss the most in the world?
my best friends and my Grannie (mum's mom) and Grandpop (dad's dad)
14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
Night of the living dead (have never watched another horror movie in my life.
15. Best movie you've ever seen?
Pride and Prejudice by A&E and BBC
16. Craziest thing you've ever done sober?
hmm, gone skydiving when I was afraid of heights and had never been in a plane before
17. Ever almost die?
nope
18. Ever fist-fight a member of the opposite sex?
nope
19. Best place you have ever lived?
Washington, DC
20. Worst place you have ever lived?
Pittsburg, but not because of the people
21. Bad habit you have had for the longest time?
I always have to say something
22. Noise that makes you want to punch people?
people that smack their gum and scuff their feet
23. Your favorite tattoo?
have none, can’t stand them
24. Least favorite tattoo?
see above
25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or Mac and cheeze?
dry ramen
26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
I don't know, but it probably wasn't much.
27. Best gift you ever got?
Tough to say...
28. Best pet you ever had?
fia and dyani
29. Ever run from the cops?
no
30. Money or health?
um…health
31. Recognition, Raise or Promotion?
RAISE
First thoughts.
Write your first reaction or thoughts
1. I need: money
2. Sex: um yeah
3. Relationships: want one
4. Your Last Ex: um don’t have one
5. Power: control
6. Marijuana: pointless
7. Crack: jump them in the side walk
8. Food: CHEERIOS!!!!
9. This President: would love to meet him
10. War: hate it
11. Cars: 1938 Cheverlot Coupe
12. Gas Prices: over the top
13. Halloween: whatever…
14. Bon Jovi: hotter as the years go by
15. Religion: its about a relationship not a religion
16. MySpace: connection to friends from college
17. Worst Fear: never being what God wants me to be
18. Marriage: someday
19. Fashion: aaa leave it to hollywood
20. Brunette: hotter than blondes J
21. Redhead: nicole kidman
22. RESPECT: definitely
23. Pass the time: reading, sudoku, beading and listening to my iPod
24. Football: GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sept. is coming
25. One night Stands: as if, not likely to happen
26. Pet Peeve: blinkers left on after they turned
27. Pixie Stix: childish candy
28. Vanilla Ice: ice ice baby J
29. PORTA POTTIES: construction zones
30. High school: hated it
31. Pajamas: boxers and tank top
32. Wood: fresh cut smells so good
33. Surfers: blonde
34. Pictures: wish I took more
35. First Love: Samuel Dagger
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I'm Honest are you?
ANSWER EVERY QUESTION NO LIES!! DONT TAKE IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE!
1.WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX IF YOU COULD?
Never had an ex but if I could get back with the guy I have loved forever then the honest answer would have to be yes as much as I hate to say it.
2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yello tank top
3. HAVE YOU MADE OUT WITH ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
nope
4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
nope
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Most all of them
7. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
Not sure that I ever want to have any. Maybe if I find the right guy I will but for right now I don’t
8. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yes, better with my Mum than my dad but I have a good relationship with both.
9. DO YOU MAKE OVER 40K A YEAR?
Nope, not yet
11. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Well if I were a boy Nathaniel Burton and I don’t think I would pick any other female name because my name is so unique
14. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Well I through myself a barbeque and then we went out with a bunch of friends from work my sister her boyfriend and my brother. It was good times.
15. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson
16. WHAT TIME DID U WAKE UP?
5:30 AM
17.WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
Homework for grad school
18. HOW MANY EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Don’t have any ex’s
19. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
No!!! I hate it
22. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO...
Find the man of my dreams and go to Scotland this fall and then move there next spring
23. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Easter weekend she came down to visit me.
24. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLINGS?
Yes, my sis is a good friend and my bro is a great buddy
25. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
Loose the extra 20 pounds I got after graduating and moving into the real world
26. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Pay off college loans
27. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
1 year and 11 months
28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
nope
29. LAST PERSON YOU CALLED?
My Mum cause it’s her Birthday!!!
30. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pears in water and peanuts
31. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
September because it’s fall and FOOTBALL SEASON STARTS!!!!!
32. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
January
33. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Um I can’t remember the last time I borrowed an article of clothing
35. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
Walden University
36. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Amber Evans, my bro’s girlfriend
37. LAST PERSON THAT MADE YOU SAD?
Someone whom I care very deeply about
38. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Most definitely
39. FAVORITE TYPE OF DRINK?
Water and skim, decaf white mocha
40. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tacos and steak
41. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Um not really a dessert person
42. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Nope but will finally get there this fall!!!!! whoohooo
44. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well if it were Osama or Zarqawi or Hussein I would laugh with glee and do a little dance but otherwise I don’t hate people
45. DO YOU OWN A CAMERA PHONE?
yes
IF YOU ANSWERED ALL THESE HONESTLY REPOST
"I'm honest. Are you?"
1.WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX IF YOU COULD?
Never had an ex but if I could get back with the guy I have loved forever then the honest answer would have to be yes as much as I hate to say it.
2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yello tank top
3. HAVE YOU MADE OUT WITH ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
nope
4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
nope
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Most all of them
7. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
Not sure that I ever want to have any. Maybe if I find the right guy I will but for right now I don’t
8. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yes, better with my Mum than my dad but I have a good relationship with both.
9. DO YOU MAKE OVER 40K A YEAR?
Nope, not yet
11. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Well if I were a boy Nathaniel Burton and I don’t think I would pick any other female name because my name is so unique
14. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Well I through myself a barbeque and then we went out with a bunch of friends from work my sister her boyfriend and my brother. It was good times.
15. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson
16. WHAT TIME DID U WAKE UP?
5:30 AM
17.WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
Homework for grad school
18. HOW MANY EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Don’t have any ex’s
19. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
No!!! I hate it
22. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO...
Find the man of my dreams and go to Scotland this fall and then move there next spring
23. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Easter weekend she came down to visit me.
24. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLINGS?
Yes, my sis is a good friend and my bro is a great buddy
25. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
Loose the extra 20 pounds I got after graduating and moving into the real world
26. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Pay off college loans
27. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
1 year and 11 months
28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
nope
29. LAST PERSON YOU CALLED?
My Mum cause it’s her Birthday!!!
30. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pears in water and peanuts
31. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
September because it’s fall and FOOTBALL SEASON STARTS!!!!!
32. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
January
33. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Um I can’t remember the last time I borrowed an article of clothing
35. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
Walden University
36. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Amber Evans, my bro’s girlfriend
37. LAST PERSON THAT MADE YOU SAD?
Someone whom I care very deeply about
38. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Most definitely
39. FAVORITE TYPE OF DRINK?
Water and skim, decaf white mocha
40. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tacos and steak
41. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Um not really a dessert person
42. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Nope but will finally get there this fall!!!!! whoohooo
44. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well if it were Osama or Zarqawi or Hussein I would laugh with glee and do a little dance but otherwise I don’t hate people
45. DO YOU OWN A CAMERA PHONE?
yes
IF YOU ANSWERED ALL THESE HONESTLY REPOST
"I'm honest. Are you?"
Monday, April 24, 2006
update on a place to live
Okay so my one roommate the one that I actually kind of get along with is moving out this weekend. I am still desperately looking. The last place I told you about is actually a co-op that I can't afford to buy into. I have a couple of other places I am planning to check out but would appreciate any prayer that could be sent up on my behalf to find a place to live.
I am really ready to live on my own and not have any roommates. I don't think I can handle living with people any more :-).
I also just got the new Mercy Me CD in the mail today "Coming up to Breathe" I must say it is excellent. I really love it and them. God has used them in such wondrous ways. Okay thats it for today.
I am really ready to live on my own and not have any roommates. I don't think I can handle living with people any more :-).
I also just got the new Mercy Me CD in the mail today "Coming up to Breathe" I must say it is excellent. I really love it and them. God has used them in such wondrous ways. Okay thats it for today.
Okay GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am on my knees, I don't know what else to do or how to do it. I just need you to take complete control and just heal me and put me back together. I am begging you, I am so tired of looking to man to fill the emptiness I feel. I want what everyone else has found...peace in You!!! I want it so bad and I am asking you, laying bare my heart to you!! I need you GOD, I need you like the deer needs water, like the earth needs sun, like the baby needs it's mother, like a flower needs the soil. Please take over every part of me and give me that peace. I am not sure how to do it but I just offer myself fully and completely up to YOU!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I WANT YOUR PEACE that you so freely offer. I want to be able to rely completely and solely on you. PLEASE I AM BEGGING, if I could get down on my knees in the office I would. I love you and I know that you love me, you show me every day in that you give me breathe and create in me a need for You.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I might have found a new place to live!!!!!!!
I am really excited because this new place will finally be just mine!! I don't have to share with any roommates. I will have my own dining room, living room and kitchen. I can decorate how I want and clean as often as I want with out people calling me a neat freak!!! Whooppeeeee!!!! Plus I can still have my baby Fia around.
I will know by the end of this week. All my friends out there I would appreciate the prayers that this works. Here is the site that shows some pics and the floorplans for the one bedroom apartments. www.thcapitolhill.com check it out and let me know what you think :-).
Oh and praise God for being a full-time student and employee. I got a great tax return this year that will pay off my Scotland trip and allow me to move! I am so excited, I have my appointment to turn in my passport info on the 4th of May and then it is just sitting and waiting for the day I leave.
I will know by the end of this week. All my friends out there I would appreciate the prayers that this works. Here is the site that shows some pics and the floorplans for the one bedroom apartments. www.thcapitolhill.com check it out and let me know what you think :-).
Oh and praise God for being a full-time student and employee. I got a great tax return this year that will pay off my Scotland trip and allow me to move! I am so excited, I have my appointment to turn in my passport info on the 4th of May and then it is just sitting and waiting for the day I leave.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Just a few examples of why I love Scotland...
The Castles
The Kilts and Bagpipes
Loch NESS!!!!
I don't want to come back. I think I will marry a Scotsman and just stay there forever!! I will finally have found my earthly home before heading to my heavenly home. Whoopeee!!!
Cherry Blossoms!!!!
I love spring and the Cherry Blossoms in DC. I thought i would just share a couple of pictures with everyone so that you could share in the beauty. God Bless!!!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
In CHRIST alone
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of hte world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of hte world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
UPDATE
Okay so many new and some wonderful things have been happening in my life lately. Concerning work...I am actively working towards more responsibility with in my position. I also was approved for my Top Secret security clearance opening doors to work with our DoD group.In regards to financial, I have finally paid off the last of my debt not including college loans. It is such a freeing feeling. I also did my taxes and am getting back quite a large sum due to the fact that I am a full-time student!!! Hooray!!!! This will allow me to pay off my Grandmum for the Scotland trip. That means that I no longer have to stress about working so many hours in order to pay for the trip and earn spending money. Now everything I make will go directly to spending money for Scotland!!!!!!!!!!!!
As it pertains to life...I am attending a Monday night Bible study and a Wednesday night service. I am almost done one full year out of two of Grad School. I have also come to the realization from reading friends blogs and websites that I am the only person who has not followed her dreams. SO....
After tax time next year I am definitely planning to move to Scotland and pursue the life I have always dreamed of. I have so many connections there with family and friends from work who know folks that I shouldn't have a single problem finding a place to live or a job to work. I have also realized that because I have been so unsettled about this that I think that is why God has not allowed anyone to come into my life yet.
I have been reading this great book by John Eldredge called "The Journey of Desire" and it has made me realize that God gives us desire to test us to see if we really trust him enough to step out and follow them through. It has also showed me how prayer is such an important part of our relationships with God. He provides that outlet for talking to Him and sharing with us how He wants to use us. I have to remind myself that He is the One who gives us our every desire and will provide a way for us to see it through.
"Desire gives fervor to prayer. The sould cannot be listless when some great desire fixes and inflames it...Strong desires make strong prayers...The neglect of prayer is the fearful token of dead spiritual desires...There can be no true praying without desire. (E.M. Bounds: Man of Prayers)"
More to come later...
Friday, April 07, 2006
I miss FOOTBALL!!!!
Okay I didn't realize how much I miss watching football and talking football until yesterday. I was checking out my teams site again for the 1000th time to see if I could get any inkling of what was going through their heads to let some of our best players go.
A little while later I got an e-mail from the site letting me know that NFL.com had finally posted the 2006 schedule. The pathetic thing about this is, I immediately went to the site to print my teams schedule to put it on my calendar. As I was putting the games on my schedule I realized I was going to miss two of them when I was in Scotland and I actually was very sad.
I am going to be in the place I have dreamed of going for years and I was still sad that I was going to miss two games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is something wrong with me :-). I guess I will have to make sure I get an air card that provides me with internet access while I am there so that I can check the games progress.
The other pathetic thing is that I miss football so much I actually have the draft days on my calendar so that I can watch the draft. I realize that each year as I watch more and more football, I become more and more addicted to the sport. I absolutely love football. I love fall and I live for when I can start watching games again!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
123456....
So someone pointed out to me that today at 1:02:03pm on 04.05.06 we will live through something that will never happen again. In case you missed the number sequence previously written I will write it again. 1:02:03PM, 04.05.06 Enjoy that tidbit of nonsense and have a great day.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Mr. Darcy
So I have this acquaintance that used to be a friend that reminds me of Mr. Darcy. In 'Pride and Prejudice' Darcy tells Elizabeth that his biggest weakness is that if someone loses his friendship it is lost forever. Thus the pride.
This is where the comparison begins with this friend. I messed up with them a couple of years ago and have been paying for it ever since. Not for lack of trying to fix it that's for sure but...they seem to be informing me with their actions that they don't care for my friendship at all. I mean we aren't talking a light friendship that was ruined we are talking about a friendship where this person knew almost everything there is to know about me. In fact I needed to put them on my security clearance form because they were the only person that I still had "contact" with from the one school that I went to. I jokingly warned them not to make anything up and they said back you should be more worried that I know everything.
Well anyway, I had invited this friend to get together for coffee this weekend and catch up. I figured at our age we could both be "man" enough to move on and try again at this friendship. I ended up leaving a message and telling them about this great little place where I work and that I would be hanging around there this weekend and to give me a call if they were interested in trying to catch up.
I knew for a fact that this person was around for the weekend because I had to pass where they live to get to work and I saw their car outside. Well to say none the least this person doesn't have to guts to be a "man". I mean I am talking didn't even bother to call at all, not even to say no it wouldn't work out. The sad thing is, this person is interning for a leadership role within a church and you would think that someone wanting to be in leadership would know that bitterness or pride are unacceptable.
I am just so frustrated and tired of trying to do the "right" thing. I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't miss their friendship and the conversations and wisdom, they have provided in the past, so much.
This is where the comparison begins with this friend. I messed up with them a couple of years ago and have been paying for it ever since. Not for lack of trying to fix it that's for sure but...they seem to be informing me with their actions that they don't care for my friendship at all. I mean we aren't talking a light friendship that was ruined we are talking about a friendship where this person knew almost everything there is to know about me. In fact I needed to put them on my security clearance form because they were the only person that I still had "contact" with from the one school that I went to. I jokingly warned them not to make anything up and they said back you should be more worried that I know everything.
Well anyway, I had invited this friend to get together for coffee this weekend and catch up. I figured at our age we could both be "man" enough to move on and try again at this friendship. I ended up leaving a message and telling them about this great little place where I work and that I would be hanging around there this weekend and to give me a call if they were interested in trying to catch up.
I knew for a fact that this person was around for the weekend because I had to pass where they live to get to work and I saw their car outside. Well to say none the least this person doesn't have to guts to be a "man". I mean I am talking didn't even bother to call at all, not even to say no it wouldn't work out. The sad thing is, this person is interning for a leadership role within a church and you would think that someone wanting to be in leadership would know that bitterness or pride are unacceptable.
I am just so frustrated and tired of trying to do the "right" thing. I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't miss their friendship and the conversations and wisdom, they have provided in the past, so much.
Friday, March 31, 2006
It would be crazy to stay here when I am sooooooo homesick for HEAVEN!!!!!
"I have not been called to the wisdom of this world..
But to a God who is calling out to me..
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity"
I don't know why I am so at war within myself. There are days I selfishly want to stay on this earth so that I can experience things you can't experience in Heaven. But then there are the days when I selfishly want to go HOME because life would just be so much easier at Home with my Father.
I really don't know why on earth I want to stay here, the only reason would be to glorify and honor Him but I am not even seeming to do a good job of that. I mean I live my life the way He would want, I've been truly blessed by Him to help me fix some things in my life that really needed fixing but...
"I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"
I don't know sometimes I just wish I could take the "easy" way out and go HOME. I really miss my Grannie and my close friend Jody. I would give anything to see them again and to get to see God face to face. I know He has me here for a purpose I just wish that He would make it so clear and evident to me that I couldn't possibly miss it.
"You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay"
But to a God who is calling out to me..
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity"
I don't know why I am so at war within myself. There are days I selfishly want to stay on this earth so that I can experience things you can't experience in Heaven. But then there are the days when I selfishly want to go HOME because life would just be so much easier at Home with my Father.
I really don't know why on earth I want to stay here, the only reason would be to glorify and honor Him but I am not even seeming to do a good job of that. I mean I live my life the way He would want, I've been truly blessed by Him to help me fix some things in my life that really needed fixing but...
"I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"
I don't know sometimes I just wish I could take the "easy" way out and go HOME. I really miss my Grannie and my close friend Jody. I would give anything to see them again and to get to see God face to face. I know He has me here for a purpose I just wish that He would make it so clear and evident to me that I couldn't possibly miss it.
"You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay"
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
This is so TRUE!!!
I heard this song by Casting Crowns today and it just really made me think.
If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves
I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from satan’s hand
To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I’d give my last breath for Your glory
If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves
I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from satan’s hand
To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I’d give my last breath for Your glory
Sunday, March 19, 2006
GOD IS GOOD!!
Well it has been some time since I last posted so I figure I better update everyone. The past week has been absolutely crazy. I was at work at 7am every morning and didn't leave until 6 or 6:30 pm. Then on Monday I had Aphla, Tuesday night I babysat, then Wednesday night was Bible study, Thursday night I actually got to go home, then Friday night I went to a friends house for a traditional Irish dinner. It was pretty good. I had never tried corned beef because the sound of it just make me sick but it is actually very good. So anyway, Saturday morning I was up at 9am to meet some friends for breakfast and then to work at the cafe at 5pm until 10:45 pm. Then Sunday was church and work from 3:45pm - 10:45pm. And now the new week coming up I have to be at work by 7am again. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I am so ready for a break. But my dad is coming to see me this weekend so I will be taking Friday off.
I also just cut my hair so it is no longer very long at all. I actually really like the new length. It is like I had it when I lived in Pittsburgh for those of you who know me and can remember. I am really happy with it and don't think that I will ever go back to long hair again. So anyway...I love working at the cafe. It is such a great atmosphere and the people I work with are really great. I met this one girl that we just hit right off and I think I have finally found some friends finally in DC and it really makes me happy. I knew that God could do it I just was struggling with how long it was taking Him to work His ways. I know that I have to do my part too so I also stepped up and started going out of my way to meet people. For those of you who know me that is a big deal for me. I am not a complete introvert but it does take a bit of an effort for me to stop out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to a whole new group of people. But anyways, God has truly blessed me and I have finally begun to have plans that take up any free time I might possibly have to hang out with good Christian friends. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!!!
I also just cut my hair so it is no longer very long at all. I actually really like the new length. It is like I had it when I lived in Pittsburgh for those of you who know me and can remember. I am really happy with it and don't think that I will ever go back to long hair again. So anyway...I love working at the cafe. It is such a great atmosphere and the people I work with are really great. I met this one girl that we just hit right off and I think I have finally found some friends finally in DC and it really makes me happy. I knew that God could do it I just was struggling with how long it was taking Him to work His ways. I know that I have to do my part too so I also stepped up and started going out of my way to meet people. For those of you who know me that is a big deal for me. I am not a complete introvert but it does take a bit of an effort for me to stop out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to a whole new group of people. But anyways, God has truly blessed me and I have finally begun to have plans that take up any free time I might possibly have to hang out with good Christian friends. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Annoyed, Angry and Upset
yesterday was just not my day. I woke up with a sinus headache, I had to take my best friend back to the airport to send her back to Iowa when I wanted her to stay, and then on the way back to work from there I somehow lost my cell phone. That is the second time in under a year that I have had it either taken from me or lost. I am so aggravated with myself. How could I have been so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????
And today isn't that much better, sorry to complain all but I got to get it off my chest. Do you ever have one of those days that the slightest little thing just irks you and you want to lash out? Well that is how I have been feeling for the past three days and it really makes me angry at myself. I don't like feeling this way and I don't even know what is causing it. It is hard to keep that fake happy face so that the whole world around you doesn't know you are have a crummy day.
I am ready to get out of work today and just go home, curl up in my bed with a cup of tea and then just go to sleep. I hope and pray that tomorrow is better. Please pray for me that it is!!! Thank YOU!!!!!!!!
And today isn't that much better, sorry to complain all but I got to get it off my chest. Do you ever have one of those days that the slightest little thing just irks you and you want to lash out? Well that is how I have been feeling for the past three days and it really makes me angry at myself. I don't like feeling this way and I don't even know what is causing it. It is hard to keep that fake happy face so that the whole world around you doesn't know you are have a crummy day.
I am ready to get out of work today and just go home, curl up in my bed with a cup of tea and then just go to sleep. I hope and pray that tomorrow is better. Please pray for me that it is!!! Thank YOU!!!!!!!!
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