Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A very belated Father's Day post

I LOVE MY DAD! I truly believe that I have one of the best Dad's out there. Without him in my life, I would have never become who I am today. (I wonder how he sleeps at night? :-D) He took care to raise us with an instilled fear of the Lord that helped me to grow into a faith and love of God that I can call my "own." He taught me by experience to work hard to pay off debt. He taught me to respect my elder's. He created in me my passion for camping, history, designing my own home, the smell of fresh earth and timber (he built homes and we would visit him on the job site), football and my Scottish heritage.

Though I am told I look exactly like my Mum, I believe I act a lot like my Dad. I have a strange and inane hatred for the telephone (which I am pretty sure he gave me), but it's a good thing. It allows me to be able to break free like other people can't. I tend to both think things through and do things on the spur of the moment which he definitely does. I am a complete introvert at heart, which I definitely got from him, but I work hard to combat it and step out of my comfort zone to be part of an "extrovert" life. I most definitely have his nose!!! (it's big :-D) I generally tend to hold my frustration and annoyance in until I reach a point where I can no longer do so, but I don't have a tendency to yell at all. I don't like to be told that I am wrong unless you can show me how I am wrong. Definitely qualities I get from him. To think of it, I don't know if I have ever even heard my Dad yell in anger or frustration. I have heard him yell to be heard above the work site and to get people's attention from a distance but HHHMMMM, yeah can't think of a time.

My biggest frustration with my Dad is that he refuses to see how great he is!!!! I fight every day to not feel like a failure because HE believes he has failed in raising his children which in turn conveys to me that no matter what I am doing it isn't enough and I am a failure. That is rather frustrating to deal with every single day. I mean none of us still live at home or rely on him to care for us. My brother is an amazing Marine and wonderful man, my sister is growing into her own person and learning how to do life, and I am living in my dream American city and soon to realize a whole nother dream. I mean SERIOUSLY!, I call that a man who has definitely succeeded.

Now that is not to say that at times things haven't happened that make life look bad but there comes a time when a parent has GOT TO REALIZE that they have taught their children to the best of their ability and that no matter what that child is still a human being with their own free will to make right and wrong choices. I mean seriously. It would be pretty sad if at the ages of 24, 25, and 27 my Dad was still teaching us right from wrong and disciplining us. NOW THAT would be utter failure.

At the same time, his utter refusal to accept success makes me fight even harder to do something that will make him realize what an awesome job he did and to say he is proud of me and what I have become. I hope that some day he will view me and his family as a success and in turn I will finally feel as if I have accomplished something in my life.

Things I remember doing with my Dad that I love:

Camping at Gettysburg
Camping in general
Highland Games
Snipe hunting
Job site visits
Pink things (Canada mints)
Spearmint leaves
Campfires
Family devotions at the table
Sunday nights playing boardgames and eating popcorn
Cookouts (master griller)
Long drives to Virginia
Vermont
Dirt Roads (he has a thing for finding at least one on any give trip we take)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have forgotten so much. Thanks for the memories you have stirred up. Perhaps we can have a heart-to-heart sometime if you don't mind seeing a grown man cry.

kiltsandthistles said...

oh yeah, you gave me my love of thunderstorms and sitting on the tin roof porch listening to the rain and watching the storm. I still love them!!!

Elizabeth said...

Oooh...remember the cool thunderstorms when you were in Iowa last summer?