What is this world coming too?

On my way to work this morning I was hit with the realization that at anytime Christ could come back and the world as we know it would end.

When we ride the Metro here in D.C. we are given a free condensed version of the Washington Post. I was reading through the articles when I came across one that really got me thinking about the end of the world and where I stand.

Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for Israel to be "wiped off the map" claiming that a new wave of Palestinian attacks "will wipe this stigma from the face of the Islamic world." I always new the end times where in the future but I never really thought about the possiblity of it happening in my life time. I guess no one ever does, they look forward to the rapture but they just hope that it will happen to the next generation and not theirs.

Biblically to attempt to utterly destroy Israel, God's chosen people/nation, is to bring on the end of the world. God will never allow His chosen one's to be destroyed. I almost felt like I was reading the first chapter of one of those left behind books. However it made me think about my life and how I am living it now and how I can make a difference. (more to come...)

Des Moines, Iowa

I just spent a marvelous weekend with my Best Friend Beth in Des Moines, Iowa. We had such a good time. We spent most of our time just hanging out and trying to capture every minute possible. On Saturday, I met her boyfriend Shawn and went for a hayride at her Aunt and Uncle's house. Isn't she beautiful and you can tell we went for a hayride because of the hay bits in our hair.

We had such a good time. On Sunday I went to church with her, it was my first experience attending an African American church. Shawn preached on the meaning of AWANA. It was really neat. Then after church we headed out to her Grandparents for lunch. Beth has the coolest Grandparents. Her grandfather used to be a cowboy and they play the harmonica together. Her Grandma is just the sweetest person you will ever meet. I was so honored to have gotten the chance to meet them, I remember in college they were all Beth could talk about. After lunch we ended up meeting up with her Aunt and Uncle to go shopping at a mall. Beth got a really cute outfit and I got this great tam. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. It was really good but I was stuffed afterwards. Beth could barely get a bite down since it hadn't been that long since our big lunch and she has such a small stomache :-). The next day was Monday and Beth had to work. I took her in and then went next door to grab some coffee.

The people in Iowa are so nice. There were a couple of older ladies in there and they came up and started chatting with me. They wanted to know where I was from and what brought me there and if I was enjoying myself. It was so sweet. I ended up spending most of the day just relaxing and taking a nap. I met Beth for lunch and then picked her up from work around 4:30 PM. We then met up with Shawn and went to a really neat restaraunt where you pick all your makings and they grill it for you and give it back. It was really neat and I walked away very stuffed. Then we went to this second hand book store and I got 14, I think original, Ian Fleming James Bond books. I am so excited to read them. Then Beth and I hit up our usual spot at Barnes & Nobles. We bought leather journals and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to start journaling. It was so much fun.

Oh while we were out that night, someone from the airline called me to tell me that my flight had been canceled and that I had to pick a new time of either 6:49 AM or 1:24 PM. I was so mad because the original time was 8:48 AM and changing it all around really messed with all of our schedules. Well anyway we did make it and I was very sad to leave. I was glad that Shawn came with us though because I wouldn't have wanted Beth to be all by herself after I left.

I miss you my dearest Beth!!

Birches

Birches
Robert Frost

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy’s been swinging them.
But swinging doesn’t bend them down to stay.
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun’s warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You’d think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground,
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm,
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows—
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father’s trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It’s when I’m weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig’s having lashed across it open.
I’d like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:
I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.
I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

"Shattered"-a moratorium to love and mankind

"The Haunted Mind"-Nathaniel Hawthorne

In the depths of every heart, there is a tomb and a dungeon, though the lights, the music, and revelry above may cause us to forget their existence, and the buried ones, or prisoners whom they hide.

Ripping
Tearing
Shredding
Splitting
Burnt
Tired of hurting
Tired of giving
Tired of being taken advantage of
Want my own turn for
Happiness
Joy
Love
Relationship
BETRAYED by "freinds"! The ultimate scorn, but do I crumble???

NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST ACTRESS!!!!!!

A heart trampled and crushed! The only healer is Jesus, is she would just go to Him. But right now she is too ashamed, feels too much like a failure to present herself a shattered human, yearning for fixing yet again.

STOP THE WORLD AND LET ME OFF PLEASE!!!!!

I can't handle heartache anymore, I just want to be loved!!!

Look at her go

she's picking up the pieces

attempting to put them back together

best as she knows how

trying to cover the pain so blantant inside

She saw it coming

saw it start to fall

saw her dream start to fade and disappear

all the things she'd dreamed of and hoped for

they had come undone

they SHATTERED!!!

She never knew what it felt like to be shattered till she saw you with your arm around another. What was left of her already broken heart shattered into pieces and she knows it will never be put back together again.

Look But Not Touch

I've watched you for forever

But you've never noticed me, not ever

I would have given you my love

If you'd given me a chance

I could've been everything you wanted

but you didn't even give me a passing glance.

I will always look but not touch

I will always see you in my dreams

but for me

you will never be reality

I will always look but not touch

i will watch you from a distance

you will always be someone I dream of...

BUT NOT TOUCH

He paid the price!!

This is a poem/song that I wrote a very long time ago.

From the day He was born

Till the day He wore that crown of thorns

The Lord on high

Meant for Him to die

and although

We did not know

He was meant to be our sacrifice

meant to come and pay the price

for our sin

He paid the price for our sins.

And now we know

He came to wash us white as snow

through all His pain

we did greatly gain

we should live our lives

as constant reminders

that He came to pay the price

to be our sacrifice

for our sin

oh won't you let Him in.

The way to start

let Him in your heart

and then you'll know

how much He loves you so

if you let Him in

He'll cleanse you of past sin

He will walk with you all the while

and carry you through every trial

He'll make you white as snow

oh how He loves us all so.

Internet Access At LAST!!!!!

I finally got my wireless router set up so that I can get online. It feels weird to be online and know that I don't have to get off because I am no longer hogging the phone line.

GUESS WHAT?!?!?! I got a picture of Buzz Aldrin, the man who landed on the moon with Neil Armstrong. Besides Neil he is the one other person I would die to meet. I didn't actually get to talk to him but I was able to get his picture. He was participating in a book signing at the National book fair on the National Mall. It was the most amazing experience.

So I am learning to speak Scottish Gaelic. It is really hard. I can say how are you? and I'm fine thank you. Ciamar a tha sibh? pronounced caymur uh ha shiv. Tha gu math, tapadh leat. pronounced ha gu ma, tapa lev. Isn't that cool. Anyway...

Beautiful Dreamer....

I dream of a place where there is NO PAIN, where the sun shines all the time, where people don't know the meaning of hate. I dream of a place with blue skies, green grass, turquoise water and brightly colored flowers. I dream of getting away from it all and never having to think or do anything again. I dream of finding the happiness that so many others around me are finding.

Have you ever wanted something so bad but it seems like no matter what you do you just can't seem to get your fingers on it. Have you ever felt so inadequate that you wonder sometimes why people would ever think about what you have to say. Anyways....enough moping!!

If you can't tell that I am a very proud mother right now then you are probably not very bright ;-). Fia is adjusting well to her new home and we are having a lot of fun together. She has learned how to climb the ladder to my partial loft bed and she crawls into my bed every night. The getting down part is where she is still having trouble. She will meow and mewl until I get out of bed and put her on the floor. During the day this isn't a problem as I am obviously awake, however when she decides she wants to get down at 12 am or 2 am in the morning I am not very happy with her. Here's another picture of my beautiful baby girl.



What in the world are the people who chose the next thinking?????? A blonde Bond?!?!?! I can't believe it!!! This new guy doesn't even look like a Bond. I am really dissapointed. I think they could have done a lot better with their selection. Oh well the ranting is done.

She has a name

My little baby girl has finally been named. Her name is Fia, it is gaelic and means dark of peace.

So anyway, today has been crazy. I was up at 5:30 AM for work and by 9:00 AM I was exhausted and ready for bed again. We have 4 different meetings taking place on site at our facility today that we are setting up catering for. All 4 had breakfast and lunch at the same time so it was absolutely ridiculous trying to juggle who would get what when. I am so looking forward to leaving work early today. Love you and miss you Beth!!!!

Horn Honking

CAN ANYONE ANSWER ME THIS?????!!!!! Why do people trapped in dead traffic think that laying on their horns will make it move!?!?!? It doesn't work, you are all trapped in the same place so sit back, turn up the music and think peaceful thoughts and you will make it through without being stupid, ignorant, and arrogant.

So anyways...I got a kitten!!! I finally have someone to come home to make my life a little less lonely. She doesn't have a name yet but I am working on it. I want it to be a Gaelic name and I have a couple of ideas but no definites yet. I was thinking possibly, Ina, Iona, Isla, Akera, Adara and there was one other that I can't remember off the top of my head. Isn't she the most beautiful kitten in the world? (but then I'm partial ;-) )

My Dearest Friend Beth

Well now, I will tell the world that I have one of the best friends in the World!!!! Her name is Beth and she set me up on this blog. I am not usually that great at journaling so we will give this a shot and see what will happen. I guess I will start by posting one of my favorite poems.

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed and
Joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds
And done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of
Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hov’ring there,
I’ve chased the shouting wind along,
And flung my eager craft
Through footless halls of air…
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights
With easy grace
Where never lark not ever eagle flew
And, while with silent lifting mind
I’ve trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space…

Put out my hand,…

and touched the face of GOD.

Not sure who to give the credit of this poem to but as soon as I find out I will be sure to post it.