Sunday, April 30, 2006

Tennis

Okay so I know that I love watching tennis, especially when it is Andy Roddick playing or Roger Fedderer, however I had never actually picked up a racket in my life. That is until yesterday. There is this Alpha group that I am involved with and we had this really great day away yesterday. We got together at a place other than where we normally meet and talked about the Holy Spirit and enjoyed getting to know each other. So anyway they had tennis courts and there were a couple of extra rackets and balls, so this girl Melissa that I met and I decided to give it a shot. Well I must say I have never felt so inept and out of my league as I did. But I also discovered that I really love tennis not only watching it but trying my hand at playing. I am by no means any good but it is just plain fun. I will however have to make a mental note to wrap my ankles before playing cause all the running around the court you do I rolled them a couple of times. I keep forgetting that I have weak ankles cause I haven't played a sport in so long that required so much stopping and turning on a dime. Oh well, I just need to remember that but I am definitely going to keep playing and learning to play better. I hope to post a couple pics later. It was funny cause I "felt" so professional, I was wearing a skort and when I tucked the balls in the pockets I felt like Maria Sharpanova and Venus Williams. Like that would ever be a reality :-). Any way that was my foray into the tennis world and now I love to play and watch.

Friday, April 28, 2006

stringin me along

I sometimes wonder if God likes to play pranks on His children and string them along. (the rambling thoughts of a desperate woman)

As you all know I am desperately trying to get out of the bad living situation that I am in. I would ultimately prefer to live on my own but if that doesn't work then I would want to live with only one person. I can't handle living with a couple of girls again, what with the hormones, mood swings and many different senses of interior design. I also won't do the guy roommate thing ever again because they are slobs!!!!!!! Sorry to all you unique gentlemen out there who actually clean. (I LUV U BRO!!!)

So anyway...I thought I had kinda found a place with a friend from the Church I attend. However there are some strings that God keeps droppin in the way and I kinda feel like HE likes doing it. So I have a cat because, well you know us single women, (well at least me), I needed some sort of companionship to come home too. So yeah, this place is a great two bedroom apartment near where I work in the evenings and to the red line metro which would put me right at work. It is with a great person who has actually been living alone for some time and isn't sure about the whole roommate thing either and it is decently priced and in an okay neighborhood.

Here's the string though, we aren't "allowed" to have pets. However there are many cats and dogs in the building because the rule is not enforced and as long as the landlord doesn't see anything when you finally leave then they don't say anything.

Well the thing is, do I do the "right" thing and obey the landlord and keep searching or do I do what everyone else has done and just move in anyway and keep Fia clean? I mean she is a clean cat as it is, she knows where her litter box is and hasn't made any messes since I have had her. She is a generally quiet and relaxed cat and when she gets fixed in May she'll be even better.

Why can't God just let me find a place, I mean I am trying to do the right thing in getting my life back on track for Him but... I mean I know He wants us to trust Him and maybe He is testing me, I just wish He wouldn't test me in this area because I am in a terrible situation that I really must get out of.

I just can't win can I!! What would you have me do Lord? I mean I know I just begged you to give me the peace of mind and heart that so many of my friends have found, but is this really the way to do it? Please help me out here... I need out really bad, I can't handle this situation anymore!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

If you have five minutes...

Current mood: stressed

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4:
…uations that everyone accepts as facts, and (2) personal data.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. whats there?
My manager

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Locals on the eights on the weather channel

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
3:00 pm

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:33pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My head boss talking to her daughter and co-workers typing and Mercy Me

7. When did you last step outside?
1:45pm

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
a friend's myspace

9. What are you wearing?
Black pants, black tank, red silk tank, and black button down sweater

10. Did you dream last night?
No

11. When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Monthly Calendar, painting of Scotland done for me by a friend, 60 day wall calendar and lots of little post-its of things to do and people to call.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not that I can think of at the moment

14. What do you think of this quiz?
A nice quick break from the monotany of work

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off college loans and purchase a 1938 Cheverlot Coupe, my dad an Aston Marin, my Mum a mini coupe and a home in Scotland

17. Tell something about you that most people don't know:
I dream big but never believe that I can achieve them.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
All war

19. Do you like to dance?
Sure, but I’m not great by any standards

20. George Bush:
Not sure what to think of him right now

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Don’t know

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Nathaniel Burton

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Definitely, planning to next year

24. Person you want to see the most right now?
Beth, Sarah and Shriggles

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

surveys

1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight?
a bruised knee but my brother broke his hand :-)

2. Most money you ever owed a utility company?
Always pay my bills on time

3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
never

4. Longest time you slept in a car?
can’t sleep in a moving vehicle

5. Most terrible nickname you've ever been given?
Well get creative with my last name because I won’t repeat what they were on here. It’s Neiner as in 9er

6. Worst job you ever had?
working as a waitress at a little hole in the wall called Dino and Francesco’s in Clarks Summit, PA

7. Shortest job you've ever had?
data entry temp job for a medical insurance company

8. Longest romantic relationship?
relationship? What relationship?

9. Shortest romantic relationship?
see above

10. Food that you would eat till you puked?
um….

11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
sauerkraut

12. What music saved your life?
Mercy Me and Casting Crowns

13. Person you miss the most in the world?
my best friends and my Grannie (mum's mom) and Grandpop (dad's dad)

14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
Night of the living dead (have never watched another horror movie in my life.

15. Best movie you've ever seen?
Pride and Prejudice by A&E and BBC

16. Craziest thing you've ever done sober?
hmm, gone skydiving when I was afraid of heights and had never been in a plane before

17. Ever almost die?
nope

18. Ever fist-fight a member of the opposite sex?
nope

19. Best place you have ever lived?
Washington, DC

20. Worst place you have ever lived?
Pittsburg, but not because of the people

21. Bad habit you have had for the longest time?
I always have to say something

22. Noise that makes you want to punch people?
people that smack their gum and scuff their feet

23. Your favorite tattoo?
have none, can’t stand them

24. Least favorite tattoo?
see above

25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or Mac and cheeze?
dry ramen

26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
I don't know, but it probably wasn't much.

27. Best gift you ever got?
Tough to say...

28. Best pet you ever had?
fia and dyani

29. Ever run from the cops?
no

30. Money or health?
um…health

31. Recognition, Raise or Promotion?
RAISE

First thoughts.
Write your first reaction or thoughts

1. I need: money

2. Sex: um yeah

3. Relationships: want one

4. Your Last Ex: um don’t have one

5. Power: control

6. Marijuana: pointless

7. Crack: jump them in the side walk

8. Food: CHEERIOS!!!!

9. This President: would love to meet him

10. War: hate it

11. Cars: 1938 Cheverlot Coupe

12. Gas Prices: over the top

13. Halloween: whatever…

14. Bon Jovi: hotter as the years go by

15. Religion: its about a relationship not a religion

16. MySpace: connection to friends from college

17. Worst Fear: never being what God wants me to be

18. Marriage: someday

19. Fashion: aaa leave it to hollywood

20. Brunette: hotter than blondes J

21. Redhead: nicole kidman

22. RESPECT: definitely

23. Pass the time: reading, sudoku, beading and listening to my iPod

24. Football: GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sept. is coming

25. One night Stands: as if, not likely to happen

26. Pet Peeve: blinkers left on after they turned

27. Pixie Stix: childish candy

28. Vanilla Ice: ice ice baby J

29. PORTA POTTIES: construction zones

30. High school: hated it

31. Pajamas: boxers and tank top

32. Wood: fresh cut smells so good

33. Surfers: blonde

34. Pictures: wish I took more

35. First Love: Samuel Dagger

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I'm Honest are you?

ANSWER EVERY QUESTION NO LIES!! DONT TAKE IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE!

1.WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX IF YOU COULD?
Never had an ex but if I could get back with the guy I have loved forever then the honest answer would have to be yes as much as I hate to say it.

2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yello tank top

3. HAVE YOU MADE OUT WITH ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
nope

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
nope

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Most all of them

7. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
Not sure that I ever want to have any. Maybe if I find the right guy I will but for right now I don’t

8. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yes, better with my Mum than my dad but I have a good relationship with both.

9. DO YOU MAKE OVER 40K A YEAR?
Nope, not yet

11. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Well if I were a boy Nathaniel Burton and I don’t think I would pick any other female name because my name is so unique

14. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Well I through myself a barbeque and then we went out with a bunch of friends from work my sister her boyfriend and my brother. It was good times.

15. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

16. WHAT TIME DID U WAKE UP?
5:30 AM

17.WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
Homework for grad school

18. HOW MANY EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Don’t have any ex’s

19. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
No!!! I hate it

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO...
Find the man of my dreams and go to Scotland this fall and then move there next spring

23. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Easter weekend she came down to visit me.

24. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLINGS?
Yes, my sis is a good friend and my bro is a great buddy

25. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
Loose the extra 20 pounds I got after graduating and moving into the real world

26. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Pay off college loans

27. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
1 year and 11 months

28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
nope

29. LAST PERSON YOU CALLED?
My Mum cause it’s her Birthday!!!

30. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pears in water and peanuts

31. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
September because it’s fall and FOOTBALL SEASON STARTS!!!!!

32. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
January

33. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Um I can’t remember the last time I borrowed an article of clothing

35. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
Walden University

36. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Amber Evans, my bro’s girlfriend

37. LAST PERSON THAT MADE YOU SAD?
Someone whom I care very deeply about

38. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Most definitely


39. FAVORITE TYPE OF DRINK?
Water and skim, decaf white mocha

40. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tacos and steak

41. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Um not really a dessert person

42. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Nope but will finally get there this fall!!!!! whoohooo

44. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well if it were Osama or Zarqawi or Hussein I would laugh with glee and do a little dance but otherwise I don’t hate people

45. DO YOU OWN A CAMERA PHONE?
yes

IF YOU ANSWERED ALL THESE HONESTLY REPOST
"I'm honest. Are you?"

Monday, April 24, 2006

update on a place to live

Okay so my one roommate the one that I actually kind of get along with is moving out this weekend. I am still desperately looking. The last place I told you about is actually a co-op that I can't afford to buy into. I have a couple of other places I am planning to check out but would appreciate any prayer that could be sent up on my behalf to find a place to live.

I am really ready to live on my own and not have any roommates. I don't think I can handle living with people any more :-).

I also just got the new Mercy Me CD in the mail today "Coming up to Breathe" I must say it is excellent. I really love it and them. God has used them in such wondrous ways. Okay thats it for today.

Okay GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am on my knees, I don't know what else to do or how to do it. I just need you to take complete control and just heal me and put me back together. I am begging you, I am so tired of looking to man to fill the emptiness I feel. I want what everyone else has found...peace in You!!! I want it so bad and I am asking you, laying bare my heart to you!! I need you GOD, I need you like the deer needs water, like the earth needs sun, like the baby needs it's mother, like a flower needs the soil. Please take over every part of me and give me that peace. I am not sure how to do it but I just offer myself fully and completely up to YOU!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I WANT YOUR PEACE that you so freely offer. I want to be able to rely completely and solely on you. PLEASE I AM BEGGING, if I could get down on my knees in the office I would. I love you and I know that you love me, you show me every day in that you give me breathe and create in me a need for You.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I might have found a new place to live!!!!!!!

I am really excited because this new place will finally be just mine!! I don't have to share with any roommates. I will have my own dining room, living room and kitchen. I can decorate how I want and clean as often as I want with out people calling me a neat freak!!! Whooppeeeee!!!! Plus I can still have my baby Fia around.

I will know by the end of this week. All my friends out there I would appreciate the prayers that this works. Here is the site that shows some pics and the floorplans for the one bedroom apartments. www.thcapitolhill.com check it out and let me know what you think :-).

Oh and praise God for being a full-time student and employee. I got a great tax return this year that will pay off my Scotland trip and allow me to move! I am so excited, I have my appointment to turn in my passport info on the 4th of May and then it is just sitting and waiting for the day I leave.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Just a few examples of why I love Scotland...

The Castles




The Kilts and Bagpipes



Loch NESS!!!!


I don't want to come back. I think I will marry a Scotsman and just stay there forever!! I will finally have found my earthly home before heading to my heavenly home. Whoopeee!!!

Cherry Blossoms!!!!







I love spring and the Cherry Blossoms in DC. I thought i would just share a couple of pictures with everyone so that you could share in the beauty. God Bless!!!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

In CHRIST alone

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of hte world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

UPDATE

Okay so many new and some wonderful things have been happening in my life lately. Concerning work...I am actively working towards more responsibility with in my position. I also was approved for my Top Secret security clearance opening doors to work with our DoD group.

In regards to financial, I have finally paid off the last of my debt not including college loans. It is such a freeing feeling. I also did my taxes and am getting back quite a large sum due to the fact that I am a full-time student!!! Hooray!!!! This will allow me to pay off my Grandmum for the Scotland trip. That means that I no longer have to stress about working so many hours in order to pay for the trip and earn spending money. Now everything I make will go directly to spending money for Scotland!!!!!!!!!!!!

As it pertains to life...I am attending a Monday night Bible study and a Wednesday night service. I am almost done one full year out of two of Grad School. I have also come to the realization from reading friends blogs and websites that I am the only person who has not followed her dreams. SO....

After tax time next year I am definitely planning to move to Scotland and pursue the life I have always dreamed of. I have so many connections there with family and friends from work who know folks that I shouldn't have a single problem finding a place to live or a job to work. I have also realized that because I have been so unsettled about this that I think that is why God has not allowed anyone to come into my life yet.

I have been reading this great book by John Eldredge called "The Journey of Desire" and it has made me realize that God gives us desire to test us to see if we really trust him enough to step out and follow them through. It has also showed me how prayer is such an important part of our relationships with God. He provides that outlet for talking to Him and sharing with us how He wants to use us. I have to remind myself that He is the One who gives us our every desire and will provide a way for us to see it through.

"Desire gives fervor to prayer. The sould cannot be listless when some great desire fixes and inflames it...Strong desires make strong prayers...The neglect of prayer is the fearful token of dead spiritual desires...There can be no true praying without desire. (E.M. Bounds: Man of Prayers)"

More to come later...

Friday, April 07, 2006

I miss FOOTBALL!!!!


Okay I didn't realize how much I miss watching football and talking football until yesterday. I was checking out my teams site again for the 1000th time to see if I could get any inkling of what was going through their heads to let some of our best players go.

A little while later I got an e-mail from the site letting me know that NFL.com had finally posted the 2006 schedule. The pathetic thing about this is, I immediately went to the site to print my teams schedule to put it on my calendar. As I was putting the games on my schedule I realized I was going to miss two of them when I was in Scotland and I actually was very sad.

I am going to be in the place I have dreamed of going for years and I was still sad that I was going to miss two games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is something wrong with me :-). I guess I will have to make sure I get an air card that provides me with internet access while I am there so that I can check the games progress.

The other pathetic thing is that I miss football so much I actually have the draft days on my calendar so that I can watch the draft. I realize that each year as I watch more and more football, I become more and more addicted to the sport. I absolutely love football. I love fall and I live for when I can start watching games again!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

123456....

So someone pointed out to me that today at 1:02:03pm on 04.05.06 we will live through something that will never happen again. In case you missed the number sequence previously written I will write it again. 1:02:03PM, 04.05.06 Enjoy that tidbit of nonsense and have a great day.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Mr. Darcy

So I have this acquaintance that used to be a friend that reminds me of Mr. Darcy. In 'Pride and Prejudice' Darcy tells Elizabeth that his biggest weakness is that if someone loses his friendship it is lost forever. Thus the pride.

This is where the comparison begins with this friend. I messed up with them a couple of years ago and have been paying for it ever since. Not for lack of trying to fix it that's for sure but...they seem to be informing me with their actions that they don't care for my friendship at all. I mean we aren't talking a light friendship that was ruined we are talking about a friendship where this person knew almost everything there is to know about me. In fact I needed to put them on my security clearance form because they were the only person that I still had "contact" with from the one school that I went to. I jokingly warned them not to make anything up and they said back you should be more worried that I know everything.

Well anyway, I had invited this friend to get together for coffee this weekend and catch up. I figured at our age we could both be "man" enough to move on and try again at this friendship. I ended up leaving a message and telling them about this great little place where I work and that I would be hanging around there this weekend and to give me a call if they were interested in trying to catch up.

I knew for a fact that this person was around for the weekend because I had to pass where they live to get to work and I saw their car outside. Well to say none the least this person doesn't have to guts to be a "man". I mean I am talking didn't even bother to call at all, not even to say no it wouldn't work out. The sad thing is, this person is interning for a leadership role within a church and you would think that someone wanting to be in leadership would know that bitterness or pride are unacceptable.

I am just so frustrated and tired of trying to do the "right" thing. I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't miss their friendship and the conversations and wisdom, they have provided in the past, so much.