Monday, January 09, 2006

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Can I just say that freedom has never felt so good! Let's see how do I explain this....well for about 15 years of my most "pathetic" existence I have liked one guy and one guy only. I seriously believed that we would get together against all odds. Well based on some very cold interaction that we had over Christmas I now realize that we will never happen and that the good friendship we once shared will never be rekindled. It is a very freeing state of mind. I have let go of all that I had "based my entire thoughts of the future on" and am now able to look with fresh eyes towards tomorrow.

At the same time that it is freeing it is also very scary. I have actively begun searching for someone to share my life with in the future and boy am I freaked. I am kind of an old fashioned girl who believes that the guy should be the one doing the chasing. However, the way the world is today it seems the girls are the ones nowadays putting their hearts on the line and stepping out in faith and "fear".

Well I have done just that. I have a profile on eHarmony, Christiancafe, and a couple of other places. It is kind of scary what with all the identity theft going on out there in the computer world as well as the fact that you don't actually get that one on one interaction to see how "they" really react. It is exciting at the same time though, because I am so ready to be looking for someone to share my life with. Someone to partner with and be their helpmate as God first intended the woman to be. I can't wait for that day when God will bless me with my soul mate.

I send a prayer up to heaven for the one who is meant for me. God bless you and give you a good and God filled day until we meet.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

How i love you!!! I'm sooo thankful that you finally feel "unchained" from "JB's prison". It's wonderful to see my friend happy again. I know you're afraid, but hey, I'm beginning to think that if handled rightly, fear can be a source for wisdom. always listen to your instincts...because the Holy Spirit will use those instinctive feelings to help you make decisions (of course, don't mix up instinct with infactuation). Can't wait to talk to you! i have lots to talk about as well.

Elizabeth said...

this is your friendly reminder to prompt you to hurry up, pick up the ball, and write another long post. or else the buggy man will get you. actually--i'll get you! um, yeah, have lots to tell you, so call me sometime (maybe friday or saturday night).