Okay so on a note that isn't so "happy", I am very frustrated, annoyed, angry and tired. I am ready to quit school, because I just no longer have the energy it takes to go home from work each night and know that my work is not yet done. I am frustrated that I don't have a life. I am frustrated with other things going on in my life and some people in my life who just won't step up!! Why??!?!?!?!? I am frustrated and annoyed with mixed signals and my ignorance. I am angry that I can't seem to get control of my life and make it go the direction I want it to. I know, I know, I don't control my life, GOD does. But I wish He would let me try to control a little bit of it.
And right now I am angry at Him for what he is doing to one of my best friends. She has been through so much s*@t this past year and yet He still keeps piling it on. She has lost 4 relatives in one years time and unfortunately is preparing to lose yet another. She has had to deal with a lot crap regarding an accident and an anal, ornery, money grubbing old man. She studies her rear off for school but yet can't seem to get where she wants to be. I love her and really hate seeing Him create more and more reasons in her life for her to not believe in Him. I wish He would just give her a break. BACK OFF FOR A WHILE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!
*aside* of course this could also be a ploy by Satan cause he knows i am getting my life back on track and really working to solidify my personal relationship with God. he could be doing this because he knows how much I care about my friends and hate to see them suffering and knows if he pushes hard enough maybe I will cave. well all I have to say is GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!!! You are the @$$hole of all @$$holes and one day you will burn forever!!!!!!!!!!! Leave me and my friends alone cause what your doing won't work!!!! I will continue to trust that God is doing the right thing and will see Himself glorified through all this. However if this is the case I apologize deeply to my best friend that she is the one bearing the brunt of Satans ploy to get me. I really really really am sorry. I TRULY LOVE YOU AND YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER WISH THIS UPON ANYONE ESPECIALLY YOU!!!!
*DISCLAIMER* not everything sucks. I have a great new job, a great new apartment, a great new roommate, a great church with great friends and a great weekend job at a cafe. *END DISCLAIMER*
5 comments:
I'm sorry things in your life are so upsetting right now. But things will work themselves out as long as you keep up with them..
Don't quit school. Education will only make your life better. I know its hard, school is very hard. But in the end that degree is so worth the time and energy that you put into it. Think of the people who really are smart yet don't have the opportunity to go to school...they would give anything to be in the position that your in. :)
That certain someone will come around and chat it up a little more, just give it time. And always remember, that person isn't a mind reader... so think of something cleaver to say like, "you know, i really like to hear from you more often" or "I like the sound of your voice...too bad its so quite.." You know what I mean. They might think by you not talking to them your upset or somethig is wrong. Make sure they know that's not the case.
As in my case, it'll all be okay. i've only lost 3, the 4th is still a possibility...I'm still holding out hope, but I'm not optimistic. Its too much to explain in this should be short but won't be message. I did get some possibly good news about school yesterday and will share it with you later. And the old man, well I'll just let you take care of him ;) Defending me the way you just did. Makes a girl feel good that people still care and are still pulling for her. Crap, now I've got something in my eye... If it weren't for my frinds, such as you, I don't know where I would be. Goes back to the old saying, you may just be another person in the world, but you may be the world to another person.
Keep it up girl. Everything will be okay.
Sorry for the long message...
and i love you too dude. :) <3
you need a hug.
hey, give me a call sometime soon!
I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!
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